The Bookish Life of Nina Hill(45)

“Great,” said Nina. “It’s probably just as well I don’t drink very much then.” A sudden flash of the kiss with Tom crossed her mind.

Archie nodded. “I think Becky and Katherine both stopped drinking pretty young; not sure about the others.” He finished his coffee and looked around for Andi. “It’s genetic, you know.”

Nina nodded. “And did you?”

Archie frowned. “Did I what?”

“Did you cheat? On your wife?”

He shook his head. “Not yet. But now that I know about you, I worry that it’s predetermined, like the drinking. If he couldn’t control himself, maybe it will be the same for me. I didn’t think so, but you kind of messed up a lot of what I took for granted.” He caught Andi’s eye and mimed a request for more coffee for both of them. “Sorry, I know it’s not your fault.”

Nina shrugged and pressed on. “But you thought he didn’t cheat on your mother. You thought there could be exceptions.”

“Yeah, because she died pretty young, right? I thought maybe he’d managed to keep it in his pants long enough. But he didn’t, not at all. He cheated on her with your mom, and who knows who else, and that was years before she got sick.”

“Yeah, but look at me. My mom can’t stay in one place for more than a month, and I’ve barely left the state. Just because he was a jerk doesn’t mean you have to be.”

“Maybe not.”

Nina tried changing the subject. “When is your baby due?”

“Next month.” He pulled out his phone and flipped through some photos. “This is my son, Henry, and there’s Becca.” The photo showed an adorable little boy with tiny glasses on, and the beautiful blond woman she’d seen at the lawyer’s office, both grinning at the camera like idiots.

“They look happy,” said Nina.

“They are,” replied Archie. “Long may they stay that way.” He put his phone away and rubbed his face with his hand. “Do you ever worry that you are going to mess things up?”

“What kind of things? I mean, yes, of course, all the time, but what specifically?”

“I worry I’m going to lose control of my life, that I’m going to make a massive mistake and it’s all going away. I don’t know why, but things have been hard, with Becca pregnant and Henry being only two and work . . .” He put his hands on the tabletop, but not quickly enough to prevent Nina from seeing that they were shaking.

“Do you get anxiety?” she asked.

He nodded. “I do. I used to get it worse, but I take medication for it now. You?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I have Xanax for when it’s really bad, and sometimes it does get really bad. As long as I keep on top of things, it’s manageable, but I don’t do well with surprises.” She took a breath. “I’m easily thrown; I guess you could put it like that. I feel like I don’t have a deep well of calm. I feel like I was lightly misted with calm, and it doesn’t take a lot for it to evaporate.” She grinned. “Not sure this metaphor is going to last all that much longer, either.”

He smiled at her. “My wife has the deep well of calm in our house. She’s like Lake Calm, in fact. I’m more like you.” He shrugged. “Dad was not in any way calm; he revved very high indeed, and then his blood, mixed with the cyanide that runs through Alice’s veins, produced Katherine, who is truly horrible, but also Becky, Peter’s mom, who is the kindest woman on the planet. One more generation down you get Peter and Jennifer, who are awesome in every way, but also Lydia, who’s a total nutjob. Genetics are funny things, right?”

Nina put her hands flat on the tabletop, across from his. “We have similar hands, look.”

“Mine are bigger.”

She looked up at him. “No shit, Sherlock.”

He laughed. “I don’t know why I’m even telling you all this.”

“I’m your sister?”

“Yeah, I guess. And you can’t stop being my sister, even if you know how anxious I get. I . . . I felt like maybe you would understand.” He studied the tabletop.

Andi delivered their coffees. Nina took a sip and wiped the foam off her lip with the back of her sleeve. “Understand why you’re wigged out about suddenly discovering something upsetting about a guy who, let’s face it, had already caused a lot of trouble even before this all came out?”

He nodded.

“Wouldn’t anyone understand? A week or so ago I thought I was the child of a brave, creative, brilliant world traveler and never understood why I was shy, nervous, and basically unwilling to travel outside my zip code. Now I know where some of that came from, but I’ve also inherited potential alcoholism and an inability to remain faithful, so, you know, not exactly a win-win.”

Archie grinned suddenly, and anyone watching them would instantly have known they were related. “Yup, that’s about the size of it. You’ve probably inherited money, too, of course.”

“Unconfirmed. And not if Lydia has her way.”

Archie rolled his eyes. “Lydia’s angry all the time; you’re just today’s focus. It’s a pity, because she’s really brilliant. Brain like a steel trap but, sadly, she mostly uses it for storing up imaginary insults and injuries.”