The Book of Hope: A Survival Guide for Trying Times(51)

“Let’s Just Say It Was a Mission”



“So you’re this shy person and yet you signed up for a life of speaking—”

“I didn’t sign up for it,” Jane interrupted. “It overtook me. It swept me up in its path.”

“Okay, it swept you up—but you agreed. You went along with it.”

“I didn’t have an option.”

“You felt called?”

“I wouldn’t put it quite like that—it was just—well, ‘The chimps have given me so much, now it’s my turn to try to do something for them.’ People say it must’ve been a hard decision to make, leaving Gombe. But it wasn’t. I’ve told you that. It was like Saint Paul on the road to Damascus. He didn’t ask for that to happen. He didn’t decide, according to the story, anyway. It just happened—he changed from persecuting the early Christians to trying to convert people to Christianity. It was a huge change—that’s why it’s the best example I can think of.”

“So did that sense of being called—”

“No, let’s just say it was a mission,” Jane interrupted.

“Okay—did that sense of mission stop you from having self-doubt, or were there times when you said ‘I don’t know if I can do this speech or talk to this prime minister or CEO’?”

“Of course, there were. There still are. I remember when I was first asked to attend one of the big UN climate change conferences. It would take me right out of my comfort zone—which is speaking with a crowd of students or to an auditorium full of the general public. My friend Jeff Horowitz, who has worked tirelessly to protect forests to mitigate global warming, asked me to sit on a panel with climate experts and CEOs of huge corporations and government representatives. I just said, ‘I can’t do that, Jeff. Honestly, I can’t.’”

“What made you feel you couldn’t do it?” I asked.

“Because I’m not a climate scientist. But Jeff did not accept my refusal, and in the end, I thought, ‘Well, if Jeff believes in me, and feels it will help, I will just have to do my best.’ Of course, I know now that people want to hear someone speaking truthfully about what we are doing wrong, especially when they can be reassured that there is a way out of the mess we have made. They want to hear people who speak from the heart. They want to be given reasons for hope. But even knowing that, I still get nervous.”

It was amazing—and maybe encouraging—to hear the self-doubts of one of the world’s most famous conservationists. I also thought that if it was true Jane was born for a reason, she was given a very difficult path to follow, with many problems to tackle. But I was beginning to see that once Jane decides on a course of action, nothing will stop her. Indeed she, too, had an indomitable spirit.

“You’ve had so many challenges and overcome them,” I said to Jane. “You’ve said you’re obstinate, and that you won’t give up. And it’s clear you have certain gifts that help, especially being able to reach people’s hearts. Is there anything else that’s helped you become a messenger of hope?”

“Yes, I’ve been so lucky—I’ve always had amazing people supporting me. I could never have achieved the things I’ve achieved on my own. It started with my family, of course, and then I’ve somehow been able to persuade so many people to help. One person has been there for me, someone with whom I can share feelings of sadness and anger: Mary Lewis. She’s been working with me for thirty years. And Anthony Collins has helped in Africa, as a wise friend and counselor for just as long. But wherever I go, there’s always someone to nurture me, reach out a helping hand, share a meal and a laugh. Oh—and a whisky, of course! I could not have done what I’ve done without them all. We’ve succeeded together.”

I thought of our last conversation—about the importance of social support during difficult times.

“Another thing that has helped me to face so many daunting challenges is my grandmother’s favorite text from the Bible: ‘As your days, so shall your strength be.’ When I’m lying awake the night before having to make one of those speeches, I say that to myself. It reassures me.”

“What does that mean to you, that text?”

“That when the trials of life come, you’ll be given the strength to cope with them, day by day. So often I’ve thought at the start of a dreaded day—having to defend my Ph.D. thesis, giving a talk to an intimidating audience, or even just going to the dentist!—‘Well, of course, I shall get through this because I have to. I will find the strength. And, anyway, by this time tomorrow it will be over.’

“And there’s something else, too. When I’m feeling the most desperate—when I’m so tired, so completely exhausted, that I feel I absolutely cannot give a lecture, I’ve somehow found a hidden strength that lets me cope with what’s demanded of me.”

I asked her where that hidden strength came from and how she found it.

“I sort of open up my mind to some kind of outside force,” Jane said. “I just relax and decide to appeal to the source of the hidden strength, to that spiritual power that seems to have sent me on this mission; and in my mind I say, ‘Well, you got me into this horrible situation, so I’m counting on you to get me through.’ And it seems that on those occasions I give some of my best lectures! It’s strange—once or twice it’s been as though I’ve actually been able to see myself from outside giving those talks.”