The Bluff (Graham Brothers, #2)(91)
But the thing I’m realizing as I taste regret on my tongue, is that for all he’s opened up, James is still closed up tight. To me and to everyone. Right now, it’s the to-me part that matters.
Nothing between us can ever work if he gets upset and fires me because of his own personal issues.
I wish he’d argue. I wish he’d apologize. I wish James had any expression on his face other than what appears to be cool disinterest.
But if that’s how he feels, then my decision is absolutely the best one. Even if making it feels like walking barefoot over a mix of hot coals and broken glass.
Because I’m right and he’s wrong and because he needs my help and maybe because I’ve fallen in love with this giant prickly pear of a man, I absolutely cannot help myself from getting in the last word.
“I’ll send you an email with the slides and the other documents I’ve made. Just in case you realize you’re wrong. Because you absolutely are, James Graham. So wrong.”
I honestly don’t know if I mean this as an olive branch or firing a parting shot. Maybe a little bit of both.
FROM THE NEIGHBORLY APP
Subject: BIG BREAKUP
DeltaDeltaDelta
NEWSFLASH! Winnie Boyd and James Graham broke up! Haven’t heard reasons yet, but obvs she’s not good enough for him.
MegaB
Plus, that’s her second breakup this month. Take a break, honey.
The_Real_Shell-E
Dibs!
BagelBytes
I don’t think we should be celebrating any breakups OR be posting about them here. Let everyone have their privacy.
DeltaDeltaDelta
I’d love to have some privacy … with one of the Grahams.
SweetPea23
I don’t know why someone hasn’t claimed Tank yet. That is one handsome fella.
Cal_45
If that man’s smart, he’ll stay away from the likes of you
SweetPea23
Was keying your car not enough? Need me to key your house too?
Cal_45
Keep talking and I’ll keep taking screenshots for my lawyer
GrahamFan
I made a poll. Who did the breaking up with who? I think Winnie broke up with James. He was a rebound for her—and he deserves better! Vote below!
BagelBytes
I think you mean, Who did the breaking up with WHOM
The_Real_Shell-E
Thanks for the grammar lesson Mom
BagelBytes
That would be: Thanks for the grammar lesson, Mom. There’s a punctuation lesson too.
Neighborly Mod
[This thread has been closed and marked for deletion]
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
James
After Winnie leaves, the pounding in my head doubles in intensity. Needing a break, needing speed and distance and wind in my hair, I drive my truck back to Austin so I can take the bike out. I spend a very sleepless night in Tank’s house, where the emptiness seems to mock me. It’s a reminder of all the events that have swept me along the past few months.
I’m Dorothy, carried off by a tornado of my own making. In my story though, I landed in Oz only to have my own house fall on me.
When I fired Winnie for the second time, it wasn’t so much of a conscious choice as a knee-jerk reaction. The overwhelm of the day—and the last few weeks, really—grew and mounted into a fever pitch I could only silence by lashing out.
Every time I try closing my eyes, I see Winnie giving her presentation. As the slides advanced, every page, every line, every number I’m sure Winnie carefully researched crowded into my brain, jostling for position. I kept picturing how Dark Horse looked with all the people there—smiling, happy people. But I wasn’t smiling. I wasn’t happy. It was someone else’s dream. Not mine.
All the worries I’ve had, and new ones I hadn’t even thought of began shouting all at once. My brain filled with high-pitched static, a painful shriek of anxiety until I couldn’t even hear what Winnie was saying.
Her lips were moving; my head was imploding.
When she mentioned talking to Collin and Harper, though, the static narrowed to a very fine point.
She was only trying to help, a distant, far too logical thought tells me.
And that’s what makes all this even worse. I know Winnie wanted to help. Because she cared—about the brewery and, for whatever reason, about me.
Except, losing Winnie silenced nothing. The voices in my head are louder than before, and they all sound like her.
I hope you’re happy now.
Spoiler alert—I’m anything but happy.
Is this really what you want?
No. But I have no idea what I DO want.
Do you think you can really do all this on your own?
I have about zero percent confidence I can pull this off.
How does it feel to be totally, totally alone?
After being with Winnie, getting a taste of her, it feels pretty much terrible.
That’s what I thought.
I leave Tank’s empty house the next morning, my skull throbbing, my muscles aching. It feels like any minute, the pressure is going to make my head pop right off.