The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5)(79)

‘Those are the gods?’ Frank asked. ‘They don’t look like twins.’

‘Well, think about it,’ Hazel said. ‘If you’re a god, you can look like whatever you want. If you had a twin –’

‘I’d choose to look like anything but my sibling,’ Frank agreed. ‘So what’s the plan?’

‘Don’t shoot!’ yelled Leo. It seemed like a good opening line, facing two archery gods. He raised his arms and headed down to the stage.

Neither god looked surprised to see them.

Apollo sighed and went back to playing his ukulele.

When they got to the front row, Artemis muttered, ‘There you are. We were beginning to wonder.’

That took the pressure out of Leo’s pistons. He’d been ready to introduce himself, explain how they’d come in peace, maybe tell a few jokes and offer breath mints.

‘So you were expecting us, then,’ Leo said. ‘I can tell, because you’re both so excited.’

Apollo plucked a tune that sounded like the funeral version of ‘Camptown Races’. ‘We were expecting to be found, bothered and tormented. We didn’t know by whom. Can you not leave us to our misery?’

‘You know they can’t, brother,’ Artemis chided. ‘They require our help with their quest, even if the odds are hopeless.’

‘You two are full of good cheer,’ Leo said. ‘Why are you hiding out here anyway? Shouldn’t you be … I dunno, fighting giants or something?’

Artemis’s pale eyes made Leo feel like he was a deer carcass about to be gutted.

‘Delos is our birthplace,’ said the goddess. ‘Here, we are unaffected by the Greek–Roman schism. Believe me, Leo Valdez, if I could, I would be with my Hunters, facing our old enemy Orion. Unfortunately, if I stepped off this island, I would become incapacitated with pain. All I can do is watch helplessly while Orion slaughters my followers. Many gave their lives to protect your friends and that accursed Athena statue.’

Hazel made a strangled sound. ‘You mean Nico? Is he all right?’

‘All right?’ Apollo sobbed over his ukulele. ‘None of us are all right, girl! Gaia is rising!’

Artemis glared at Apollo. ‘Hazel Levesque, your brother is still alive. He is a brave fighter, like you. I wish I could say the same for my brother.’

‘You wrong me!’ Apollo wailed. ‘I was misled by Gaia and that horrible Roman child!’

Frank cleared his throat. ‘Uh, Lord Apollo, you mean Octavian?’

‘Do not speak his name!’ Apollo strummed a minor chord. ‘Oh, Frank Zhang, if only you were my child. I heard your prayers, you know, all those weeks you wanted to be claimed. But alas! Mars gets all the good ones. I get … that creature as my descendant. He filled my head with compliments. He told me of the great temples he would build in my honour.’

Artemis snorted. ‘You are easily flattered, brother.’

‘Because I have so many amazing qualities to praise! Octavian said he wanted to make the Romans strong again. I said fine! I gave him my blessing.’

‘As I recall,’ said Artemis, ‘he also promised to make you the most important god of the legion, above even Zeus.’

‘Well, who was I to argue with an offer like that? Does Zeus have a perfect tan? Can he play the ukulele? I think not! But I never thought Octavian would start a war! Gaia must have been clouding my thoughts, whispering in my ear.’

Leo remembered the crazy wind dude Aeolus, who’d gone homicidal after hearing Gaia’s voice.

‘So fix it,’ he said. ‘Tell Octavian to stand down. Or, you know, shoot him with one of your arrows. That would be fine, too.’

‘I cannot!’ Apollo wailed. ‘Look!’

His ukulele turned into a bow. He aimed at the sky and shot. The golden arrow sailed about two hundred feet, then disintegrated into smoke.

‘To shoot my bow, I would have to step off Delos,’ Apollo cried. ‘Then I would be incapacitated, or Zeus would strike me down. Father never liked me. He hasn’t trusted me for millennia!’

‘Well,’ Artemis said, ‘to be fair, there was that time you conspired with Hera to overthrow him.’

‘That was a misunderstanding!’

‘And you killed some of Zeus’s Cyclopes.’

‘I had a good reason for that! At any rate, now Zeus blames me for everything – Octavian’s schemes, the fall of Delphi –’

‘Wait.’ Hazel made a time-out sign. ‘The fall of Delphi?’

Apollo’s bow turned back into a ukulele. He plucked a dramatic chord. ‘When the schism began between Greek and Roman, while I struggled with confusion, Gaia took advantage! She raised my old enemy Python, the great serpent, to repossess the Delphic Oracle. That horrible creature is now coiled in the ancient caverns, blocking the magic of prophecy. I am stuck here, so I can’t even fight him.’

‘Bummer,’ Leo said, though secretly he thought that no more prophecies might be a good thing. His to-do list was already pretty full.

‘Bummer indeed!’ Apollo sighed. ‘Zeus was already angry with me for appointing that new girl, Rachel Dare, as my Oracle. Zeus seems to think I hastened the war with Gaia by doing so, since Rachel issued the Prophecy of Seven as soon as I blessed her. But prophecy doesn’t work that way! Father just needed someone to blame. So of course he picked the handsomest, most talented, hopelessly awesome god.’