The Bet: A Bully Romance(23)

She’s the bet, nothing else, nothing less.

“As if I wouldn’t get proof…”

I pull out my phone and go through the voice recordings. I find what I’m looking for right away, but my finger hovers over the screen for a few seconds. There is a distinct sick feeling floating around in my stomach even before I hit play. That sick feeling is accompanied by a nagging feeling in the back of my mind telling me that I’m about to make a horrible mistake. No. Think of your broken heart. Of how badly she hurt you. How much you loved her….and how she didn’t stay.

I shove that feeling down and bury it under a truckload of anger. I concentrate on that feeling, letting it fester, and eat away at all the good inside me, and nothing else, and that’s when I hit play on the recording.

We hear my voice first.

“Should I fuck your pussy or your ass?...Maybe I’ll fuck both. Tell everyone you were a whore that begged me to take both of your holes.”

“Remington.” Jules’ voice comes from the speaker for the first time and the guys start cheering a little. I feel that sick feeling eating through the anger, through the pain.

“You fucking asshole, why didn’t you tell us you already hit it?” Allen whispers while everyone else is still listening.

“Mmm, your pussy is already wet. You like this, don’t you? I bet you aren’t even a virgin. I bet you’ve slept with tons of fuckers just like me. Slept your way through life.”

“No,” Jules says, her voice tiny, weak and the guys cheer again, their grins something I previously would’ve enjoyed but now I can’t see the fun in any of this.

“I knew she was a fucking virgin…” Thomas snickers.

“Fuck…you’re so tight.” I hiss out and Jules’ quiet moans come through next.

I place a hand to my stomach, afraid I might vomit all over the fucking floor. Suddenly I’ve had enough. I can’t listen to this anymore and I definitely can’t sit here while the guys listen anymore.

Turning the audio off, I rush from the couch and into the bathroom. I slam the door closed behind me, and barely have a moment before the vomit starts coming. My heart pounds inside my chest as I grip onto the toilet, the sickness pouring out of me. Shivers rack my body, and it feels like I’m actually sick.

Jules will never know what I’ve done, but it doesn’t make it any better, it doesn’t change that I took that one single moment between us and turned it around, shared it, just to win a stupid fucking bet and all because I was angry, jealous.

Her words from earlier play on repeat inside my head, “You know what, Remington, I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re beyond saving. The person I used to know, the man that never would’ve taken from me, or hurt me, no longer lives inside of you, and that’s sad, so fucking sad.”

Tears sting my eyes...she’s right, she’s so fucking right and I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to let go of the pain. I thought doing this would make me feel better, maybe even free me from the pain completely. I thought I would be happier knowing that I hurt her, but instead I feel only more pain…I feel like a piece of shit, like I’ve harmed an innocent individual.

I shake my head, there is no going back now. She is right. I’m fucking doomed. Way past saving. She has no idea how fucking sad my life has become, how lost I am without her. I’ve lost my one single reason to breathe, and now I’m suffocating, slowly losing the best parts of me.

“You okay, Rem?” I hear someone at the door and wipe at my face with the back of my hand. I can’t answer the door like this. I can’t let them know how weak I am for this girl.

“Oh, uhhh yeah.” I try to keep the pain out of my voice. “I had some Mexican earlier. Pretty sure it’s running through me,” I lie, knowing I can’t go out there right now. I can’t face them or let them see me this way.

“Okay, man, just making sure.” After what seems like forever, I flush the toilet, wash my hands and walk out of the bathroom.

I grab my phone off the couch and walk into my room. I sink down onto the mattress and stare at the ceiling, wallowing in my pain, wondering how I got to where I am? How I let things get to this point?

◆◆◆

The guys and I walk into the house down the street, the party is already in full swing with the island in the kitchen as a makeshift bar and the living room as a dance floor. Thankfully the party isn't at our place tonight. I'm not sure I could handle it if it was.

It's been torture since I shared the audio with the guys. Days have passed, but the sick feeling clings to my bones, my insides like the plague. What I did was wrong...it was wrong with any other girl, but it was really fucking wrong where Jules was considered.

Some loud rap song starts to beat through the shit speakers, vibrating right through me, making the slight throbbing I already have behind my eyes worse.

Thomas grabs me a beer and I open it, taking a small sip. Normally I would be getting shit faced and finding something to sink my dick into, but tonight, the beer won't even be able to numb the pain, and no amount of slickness from another chick is going to help me forget the one person I truly want.

I nod, smile, and talk to people, acting like nothing is wrong, all while I'm slowly being eaten alive inside by guilt. Jules’ image haunts me every time I close my eyes, and when my eyes aren't closed, she's right there in real life fucking with my head and my heart.