The Bet: A Bully Romance(12)

Then she kissed me, fucking kissed me.

And the worst part of all...I kissed her back.

I fucking kissed her. I haven't kissed anyone in three years. I can’t count how many girls I’ve fucked in that time, but I have never kissed a single one of them. Kissing is too personal, it’s what people do when they want to get close, remember the person and if there is one thing I don’t want to do with anyone, it is to get close…and especially not with her, not again.

Why the fuck did I kiss her back?

I hate her, don’t I? My brain tells me I do, but my heart tells me different. My heart tells me I’m angry, confused… but not that I hate her. I lick my lips, her taste still lingering there. My mind wants to scrub that taste from my mouth, while my body wants to revel in it. My thoughts are cluttered with images of her and I need to clear my fucking head and get her out of my mind once and for all.

I try and think about anything but her lips, her eyes piercing mine, the way her pussy clenched around my fingers so tight I thought I was going to die. I crossed a line, one I never crossed with any woman before tonight. I never forced myself on someone, not that I really had to force myself on Jules, it was clear she was more than interested in me, it just was the way I went about it, taking from her, using her body without permission.

It was wrong. It was right. It was fucked up.

As much as I wanted to hurt her, there was no way I could’ve fucked her without her permission. I wanted to hurt her, rip her heart out, but I didn’t want to commit a crime to do it. I liked my women willing, but she didn’t have to know that, she could’ve been thinking I was going to do it the whole time, and she probably was, up until she flipped over and looked into my eyes. She always had the power to see right through me.

Fuck. I fist my hair in my hands in frustration, pulling tightly at the locks wishing they could give me the answers I need. Why can’t she just go away? Her memory haunts me and now she’s more than a memory, she’s here, right under my nose ruining me all over again.

I pull out my cell, the group chat with all the guys pops up telling me I have over twenty missed notifications, but I don’t care. The bet is the last thing going through my mind right now. I want to win, but I’m concerned about the effect that Jules has on me, and I need to get that shit in order before I even try and fuck her.

The thought of fucking her turns my cock to steel. I’ve wanted her since we were teenagers, and I could’ve had her so many times over. I wanted her to be my first, my last, my always. I grit my teeth. I need to find a way to forget her, to forget her memory. I’ve tried everything over the years - pussy, beer, weed. Nothing has ever dislodged her from my mind.

Focusing my attention on my phone, I find Cally’s name and shoot her a text. I know she’s not my bet, but finding out she was Jules’ roommate only added to the fun. Now I have an in, into Jules’ life, into making her as miserable as possible. I ask Cally to meet me at the diner for breakfast tomorrow and to no surprise she replies right away, telling me she would love to.

When I get to the house, all the guys are in the living room drinking beer. I grab two from the fridge, chugging one right away to settle my nerves, while sitting down with the second one. I’m consumed with a need to find a cure for her memory. I have to let go of the past we shared, and I can’t think of a quicker way than getting hammered drunk with the guys. It’s not a cure, but it will do for now. I down the second beer, and then another, and another until I’m five beers in a buzz finally starting to kick in.

“You okay, Rem?” Thomas asks, concern etched into his features as he eyes the beer cans sitting on the table in front of me. Typically, I don’t drink that much, and especially not on school nights, but tonight I need all the beer I can get.

I nod my head, hating that for once I’m forced to lie to my friends.

“Never been better, Tom. Never been better.”

◆◆◆

There’s a throbbing behind my eyes that refuses to go away. It feels like I got ran over by a truck last night, and then it backed up and drove over me again. My muscles are stiff, and my stomach is churning. Drinking half a fridge full of beer probably wasn’t the best idea but it sure as shit got the job done. By the end of the night I wasn’t thinking about Jules, matter of fact, I didn't think about anything because it wasn’t long until I was blacked out on the living room floor. Not one of my most flattering moments, I suppose.

After a quick shower, teeth brushing and change of clothes I’m feeling better. I walk into the diner and cringe, the bell above the door seems ten times louder today than it ever has before. Surveying the booths, I spot Cally sitting at a table by the window, she lifts her gaze to me, a bright smile on her lips. I walk over to where she is sitting and slide into the seat across from her.

“Hi.” Her high pitch voice pierces my ears and I bite my tongue withholding the need to tell her to shut up. That, of course, wouldn’t help my cause so instead I fight through the throbbing in my head and pretend to be interested in whatever she has to say.

“Hey, sorry I stormed out last night.” I give her a soft smile. I need her to believe that I’m sorry that I intended to come over to see her and not Jules.

“Oh, it’s okay,” she says, but the frown on her face tells me she is anything but okay.

“Did Jules say something? About what happened last night?”