The Best Laid Plans(98)

When I open the door to his truck, I’m struck immediately by the smell of pizza. He’s wearing his glasses—which I love—and when I see him I’m suddenly shy, remembering everything that happened between us. What’s funny is I don’t really feel any different after having sex with Andrew. It turns out losing your virginity is kind of like having a birthday. No one can tell just by looking at you if you’re seventeen or eighteen, if you’ve slept with one person or ten or no one at all. I thought having sex would magically change me, but Andrew didn’t turn me into the girl I am now. I did that all on my own.

“I brought you breakfast,” Andrew says, holding a pizza box in my direction.

“It’s morning,” I say back. But I climb in beside him and open the box, toasting my slice of pepperoni against his.

“Should I have asked for mushrooms?” he asks. “I heard you like those now.”

“Shut up.” I shove him with my shoulder.

He’s grinning and adorable. “You know, I never would have guessed that between us, you’d be the felon.”

“You still have time,” I say, my grin matching his. “Don’t count yourself out.”

“You’re right. I’ve got way too much time this summer to get up to no good now that I’m out a job.”

“But you didn’t pull the alarm! Your uncle can’t blame you for what I did.”

“I’m an accessory to the crime, remember?”

“Speaking of accessories,” I say with a wicked smile, “any chance you can get your hands on a fireman uniform?”

“If you wanted me to do a sexy fireman dance for you, you should have thought of it before you pissed off the whole Prescott fire department.” He picks a pepperoni off his slice and pops it into his mouth. “I’ve been thinking of telling my parents I’m not a vegan, actually. It seems like the right time, you know, while everyone’s so mad at you.”

I laugh, leaning over to kiss him. “I guess love makes you do crazy things.” At the word love, his smile gets even wider and I see his cheeks redden. It still doesn’t feel real. We love each other. He’s mine and I’m his. That’s worth seven hundred dollars.

Graduation comes a week later, out on the field at school, under a big white tent. Hannah, Andrew, and I go together, piled into Hannah’s Jeep with the old wrappers and the trash bags, just like always. I was worried things might be weird now between the three of us, now that two of us are dating—but the thing is, as Hannah puts it, nothing has changed at all. “You and Andrew have been dating since sixth grade,” she told me, waving my concerns away when I asked.

Hannah is officially back together with Charlie, which doesn’t make me happy, but I know it’s my job as her best friend to support her no matter what. He’ll probably break her heart again. I’ll just have to be there for her when he does.

When we get to the field, we mingle with the parents for a bit, taking so many pictures it feels like prom all over again. But I don’t mind it now; this is something to remember. Right now, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

I want to check the mirror before the ceremony starts, so I head into the school, through the multipurpose room and into the women’s bathrooms. The school is empty and quiet—quieter than I’ve ever heard it, and it strikes me that this might be the very last time I’ll ever be inside this building, seeing this shiny linoleum floor, the blue and white tiles on the walls.

I’ll never come back here, not if I can help it. But it still feels sad in a way.

I push open the swinging bathroom door and then stop, surprised. Danielle is sitting on the ledge of the sink, her face smudged with mascara. When she sees me, she hastily reaches a hand up to wipe away tears.

“Sorry,” I say, letting the bathroom door bump me on the butt. I hesitate for a second, trying to decide if I should leave her alone or step farther into the room.

“In or out, Collins?” she asks, her voice dry.

I take a few hesitant steps forward. “Are you okay?”

“Obviously not.”

I turn back around. “Look, if you don’t want to talk to me, I’ll just leave you alone.” I open the door and begin to walk out.

“No,” she says, her voice small. “Wait.” It’s unsettling to hear her sound so vulnerable, like a little girl, like someone who doesn’t have full control of every situation. I close the door again.

“I’m gonna miss this place,” she says.

“I can’t wait to leave,” I say, but I know what she means. High school always seemed kinder to Danielle, everyone rooting for her, always on her side. But maybe high school was just as hard for her. Maybe she was just better at dealing with it.

“Did you know it was Ava?” she asks, fiddling with the tassel on the front of her graduation cap. “Writing the notes.” I shuffle over to her and climb up next to her on the sink, feeling water seep into the bottom of my robe. It surprises me that she’s still so upset about what Ava did—not because it’s silly to be, but because Danielle has always seemed so strong.

“I would have told you.”

“You wouldn’t have told me,” she says, her tone emotionless. I realize she’s right. I wouldn’t have wanted to get involved. Maybe I would have told Hannah instead, hoping that Hannah would do the right thing.