The Best Is Yet to Come (57)

* * *



—

Shadow was in the fenced yard when Cade arrived at the cottage. When he climbed out of the truck, he saw Mellie Young in the house across the way. She’d pulled aside the curtain and stared at him from the kitchen window. Even from this distance, Cade could see that Mellie was frowning. It seemed he would need to make amends to her right along with Hope. He’d been warned. He was sure to face the landlord’s ire if he hurt Hope. It encouraged him to know Preston and Mellie had Hope’s back.

When Shadow revealed no excitement at seeing him, Cade hesitated. The mixed-breed shepherd regarded him warily, as if his absence had destroyed Shadow’s trust in him.

“I’ve come in peace,” he told the dog.

Hope opened the door and stood on the small porch. “Shadow, it’s Cade.”

At her voice, his tail wagged and he approached Cade, who paused long enough to scratch his ears before heading into the cottage with Hope.

Once inside, they stood facing each other. For several awkward seconds neither spoke. They remained several feet apart. Hope had her arms about herself as a shield, as if unsure what to expect.

Seeing that he’d been the one to suggest that they talk, he felt an obligation to begin. He hardly knew where to start. All he knew was that he was willing to do or say anything that would bring her back into his arms.

“I’ve been an idiot.”

Hope didn’t argue.

“I have to believe if you sought out my mother—”

Hope cut him off with a shake of her head. “If you’d given me the chance to explain, you’d know she came to the high school and asked to speak to me.”

“How did she know about you?” He’d reviewed a number of scenarios and could think of no way his mother would know about his relationship with Hope.

“She saw us that day on the beach when you bought us hot dogs.”

“She was there?” he asked, unable to hide his surprise. “What reason would she have to be in Oceanside?” Although he asked, he didn’t expect Hope to have an answer.

“You really are oblivious, aren’t you?” she said, shaking her head as if it should be obvious. “She told me she’s driven into town several times, looking for you.” She continued to tell him what she’d learned about his mother being in the courtroom and how she’d guessed he lived in Oceanside.

“Why?” he asked.

“Several reasons,” Hope said. “She deeply cares about you and wanted to be sure you were doing okay.”

As much as he wanted to believe his mother cared about him, Cade found it hard. Especially after the way she’d deserted him six years earlier. “Why didn’t she talk to me?”

“She tried but was afraid after you turned your back on her in the courtroom that you’d do it again.”

It was difficult to wrap his head around what Hope was telling him. He ran his fingers through his hair as he paced her compact living room. Hard as it was to imagine, there might actually be a path that would restore his relationship with his parents.

His mother, he corrected himself. Cade was convinced his father knew nothing of his mother’s attempts to reconnect. Without question, John Senior would never have allowed it.

“I jumped to conclusions when I saw the two of you together,” he was willing to admit. He had no excuse other than what experience had taught him. “I’m sorry, Hope. Can we get past this and start again?” He held his breath, awaiting her answer. “Please,” he added, recognizing how much she meant to him, and how badly he needed her.

“You refused to listen. You blocked me and immediately sought out another woman.”

“It isn’t like it sounds, I swear. Yes, I blocked you, and yes, I was stupid enough not to give you a chance to explain. But I swear by all I hold holy that there was no one else. That woman was all over me. I had to be rude to get rid of her. She meant nothing to me. The only woman I want is you, Hope.”

“I wanted to believe that; I really did. When I told you about Hunter, you said I wasn’t alone any longer, that you weren’t going anywhere. Remember that? Your words were empty, Cade. The instant you had a single doubt you walked away and didn’t look back.”

“I was a fool. Have I lost you?” His heart was in his throat, waiting for her answer.

“Can I trust you, Cade?”

With everything in him, he wanted to give her the reassurance she needed. He couldn’t lie, couldn’t lead her on. It would be far too easy to tell her what she wanted to hear, and then disappoint and hurt her again. He refused to do that.

“I don’t know, Hope. I’d like to say I’m all in with this relationship. It’s the way I feel and what I want more than anything. The biggest problem is me. I’m a work in progress. The future is unknown. I can say this. I will do everything within my power to be as forthright and honest with you as I can.”

Hope listened and appeared to understand.

“Is that enough?”

Her sigh seemed to empty her chest and she nodded. “I have my own issues to work out. When I talked to Willa, which I’ve done several times now, she’s helped me understand a lot of things about myself. I thought, wrongly, as it turned out, that because I had you in my life I wasn’t alone any longer. She had Sean and the rest of her family. I had no one else until I met you, and…” She hesitated and looked away before looking back. “The truth is, I had to deal with the fact I am alone with no family. That was painful for me when I realized I couldn’t count on you.”