The Anti-Boyfriend(40)

Is he serious? “Why? You never normally care.”

He sighed. “I know things have been rough between us for some time. That’s something I deeply regret.”

I looked over at Sunny, who was peacefully swinging and oblivious to the fact that her “father” was pulling some shit right now.

I got a little choked up. “You should regret not acknowledging your daughter, aside from throwing money our way from time to time. That’s what you should regret.”

“I know. And I do regret that. I really do.”

“Well, it’s too late. You had your chance.”

He paused. “I messed up royally.”

“What’s the real reason for this call, Charles?”

After a short delay, he finally said, “I want to see her.”

“Why? Why now?”

“Because she’s my daughter.”

“Wait…you’re only now realizing this? I thought you didn’t want anything to do with her. You’re not even on the birth certificate, per your request.”

“I know. I was scared, Carys. At the time, Violet had threatened to take everything if I acknowledged Sunny. She didn’t want Talia and Xavier to know. Still doesn’t. I handled everything wrong. I shouldn’t have given in to her.”

“Why are you realizing this now?”

“Things have been bad at home. It’s become clear to me that I threw away everything with you for nothing. Not only did I make a mistake abandoning Sunny, but you, too. I really did love you, Carys. I don’t know what I was thinking going back to that woman when I had you. I was trying to save my family.”

The nerve of him. “Oh, I see. You save one family by throwing the other one away. That makes perfect sense.” Is he seriously expecting me to be receptive to this bullshit? He was more than a little too late.

“Please hear me out, Carys. I—”

“I’m not sure what you expect me to say, Charles, but—”

“Say you’ll speak to me.” His voice grew louder in my ear. “Say you won’t shut me out. Say you’ll consider letting me see my daughter.”

Looking over at her, I felt conflicted. “I don’t know. I still have a lot of negative feelings toward you, and she’s very intuitive. She’ll be able to sense things. I don’t want negative energy around her. And I certainly don’t want you coming into her life only to leave again. I don’t trust you and never will.”

“I have to accept that as my own fault. But please say you’ll consider talking to me again. Maybe that can eventually lead to my being able to see Sunny—on your terms.”

“Are you going to tell your children about her? Because you shouldn’t be allowed to see her if you’re not willing to acknowledge her like you acknowledge them.”

“You know it’s not my choice. Violet doesn’t want them to know. And I can see her point. They’re still very young. When they’re older, I may be able to tell them. I do plan to tell them eventually.”

That was the only one of his arguments I sort of understood. It would be devastating for them to find out their dad had fathered a child with another woman. Xavier was thirteen and Talia was ten. His daughter, in particular, wasn’t even old enough to understand sex.

After I didn’t say anything for several seconds, he said, “Talk to me, Carys.”

“I honestly have nothing to say. I’m confused by what you’re throwing at me. I don’t think you deserve to see her, but at the same time, Sunny deserves to know who her father is, even if you’ve been a disappointment. So I guess I’ll think about the pros and cons of letting you be around her.”

“That’s a start.” He let out a breath into the phone. “Thank you. That’s all I needed to hear.”





CHAPTER 14





Deacon



CALL ME DICK




A few days after I’d seen Carys at the coffee shop, Kendra was over again. She bent down to pick up something off the floor.

“What’s this?” she asked.

It was a pacifier. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed it before.

“Where was that?”

“Underneath this table. I went to slide my shoes under there and found it.”

I had a small table where I dropped my keys near the door of my apartment. It was right next to the wall mirror—the one Sunny had loved to look at herself in. I had no idea she’d dropped the binky, which had been clipped to her shirt that day.

Taking it from Kendra, I looked down at the dusty rubber tip. My chest felt heavy. It hadn’t even been two weeks since I’d vowed to stay away from them, but I missed Sunny. I missed Carys. I missed them.

“Why do you have a pacifier here?”

Still gazing down at it, I said, “It belongs to the baby next door—Sunny. I had to watch her in an emergency one day. She must have dropped it.”

“Oh.” She cocked her head to the side. “What’s their deal anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why is there no father in the picture?”

The first time Kendra met Carys, I’d mentioned my neighbor was a single mother. Carys’ story really wasn’t any of Kendra’s business. So, I shrugged. “It didn’t work out.”