The Allure of Julian Lefray (The Allure #1)(54)

Where are they then?

“Grab a drink and then meet me in the living room. It’s just down the hall,” Holly said, smiling and shimmying her shoulders with excitement.

Barney stepped into the doorway behind her and wrapped his arms around Holly’s waist, then pinched her. She squealed and pretended to fight him off, all the while allowing him to pull her from the room.

“C’mon. Gerald wants to play,” Barney said, with a hint of something more in his voice.

What the hell does that mean?

I glanced over at Jo to see if she was getting the same weird vibe that I was.

“This is definitely not what I was expecting,” I said, stepping toward the alcohol.

Jo shrugged. “It’s a little different, but they’re nice people, I’m sure.”

No, she didn’t get it. There was definitely something off about this party.

“I think we should head out,” I said. My gut was screaming at me to get out while I still could.

Josephine frowned. “What? Seriously? We just got here, and I don’t want to offend Holly.”

I nodded and tried to tell my instincts to shut up. Sure, Barney and Holly were a little off, but maybe they were just weird old people. New York City is full of those.

“Okay, yeah. We’ll stay for a little bit,” I relented.

Josephine held up a bottle of Jack Daniels. “Look! They even have your favorite alcohol. It can’t be all that bad.”

We filled our cups with Jack and Cokes and then clinked them together.

“Cheers,” Jo said, smiling up at me.

“Cheers.”

“Come on you two! We’re about to get started,” Holly called from the other room.

I reluctantly followed Josephine down the hall, bracing myself for a night of awkward Monopoly games. If I had to sit by sweaty Barney, I wasn’t going to last five minutes.

“What do you think they’re playing in there?” Josephine asked just as we stepped into the doorway of the living room and were met by a sight that was so un-seeable, all the therapy in the world wouldn’t be able to erase it.

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

The scene we stepped into was straight out of 50 Shades of Grey - Geriatric Edition.

“JESUS!” Jo cried, letting her cup slip from her hand.

I reached out for it just before it hit the floor, but Jack and Coke still spilled out onto my shirt and jeans. I glanced up and blinked to confirm that my eyes hadn’t betrayed me. Nope. It was real and it was too late to leave unnoticed. We were already in the doorway and half a dozen people were staring up at us…

Half a dozen naked, old people. So very naked, and so very, very old.

Candles were lit around the room. Hard rock music played in the background. A woman dressed as a dominatrix cracked a cheap whip in the corner and I flinched as if it were about to hit me. Two old people were going at it on the couch while others stood around and watched. I saw old, flat butt cheeks, and scores of boobs that had been around for the terms of over a dozen different presidents.

“Julian,” Josephine whispered. “Am I dreaming?”

I reached out for her hand. “No. We are definitely in the middle of an old person swinger’s party right now.”

“Josephine,” Holly called from across the room. “Come on in, we don’t bite!”

Of course you don’t bite, most of you don’t even have teeth.

“I…um, I think I’m. Have to go. Yeah, actually.”

Her words came out as a jumbled mess as her brain short-circuited.

I gripped her hand, ready to drag her out of the apartment, and then Barney held up her tray of cupcakes. He was sitting on the couch with the tray on his lap.

“These are great!” he said, holding one up before he shoved half of it into his mouth.

The fact that he was completely naked as he stuffed Josephine’s vanilla cupcakes into his mouth only made the spectacle that much harder to stomach. I was seconds away from laughing until I either pissed my pants or blacked out from shock.

“I’m so glad you…” Josephine murmured with a shaky voice. “I’m just going to um…”

She let her sentence fade out as she stared up at the ceiling, pretending to study the popcorn paint as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“We need to back up slowly…”

“Slow and steady,” Josephine whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

All eyes were on us. We were expected to join in. Holy hell. Josephine’s landlady had invited her to a swaps party. What the hell has this world come to?

I saw the dominatrix wind up her whip out of the corner of my eye and I knew she’d provide a welcome distraction in a matter of seconds.

“On the count of three, we’re going to make a run for it,” I whispered.

“Holly! Come lick this vanilla icing off me!” Barney said, rubbing Josephine’s cupcakes all over his naked chest. Josephine whimpered under her breath and I lost it. I couldn’t hold in my laughter any more.

The dominatrix cracked her whip and I pulled Josephine back through the hallway, losing myself to a fit of laughter. We broke into a run and Josephine cried out after me.

“You didn’t count down!” she yelled.

“It doesn’t matter. Just run!”