The Address(86)

“No one would hire a woman to do what I do.”

“I will do everything I can to make you happy, always. I promise you, Sara. Will you trust in me?”

“It’s a horrible idea. I can’t put myself in that position. I wouldn’t be able to hold my head up and walk around the streets.”

“My marriage, like so many others in our social circle, is solely an arrangement. Times are changing quite quickly. The old guard that monitored what you did and who you did it with is falling. It’s the age of enjoyment and money and indulgence.”

He took her face in his hands.

“Please. Indulge me.”



She never overtly agreed to the new arrangement, but they went on as they had before, and she braced herself for the arrival of his family. Yet after two weeks, she and Mrs. Camden still hadn’t crossed paths, although she’d seen her stepping off a carriage one day and quickly walked around the block instead of entering at the same time. Sara gave a quiet thanks to Mr. Hardenbergh for the layout of the Dakota. Once she got through the main portal and crossed the courtyard, she was out of danger of running into Mrs. Camden or the new baby, safe making small talk with the elevator operator who served only her corner of the building. Work, luckily, kept her busy throughout the days and well into the evenings, so that before she knew it, a new pattern had emerged. Theo never spoke of his family, and she never inquired. They had far more important things to discuss.

Theo had gotten another commission, this time for an insurance company in Albany run by a wealthy financier. It was enormous, twenty stories high, and would bring in a decent sum of money. The steady work and creative freedom exhilarated him, and often when they came home late, he’d stay with her for a couple of hours, then take her to her bed and make love to her. He constantly surprised her in that regard, being tender and kind one minute, gently kissing the instep of her foot after removing her stockings, before falling on her in a frenzy of longing. She hadn’t been to his apartment at all since the family’s return. Which was fine. She loved her own flat, and she spent far more hours a day in Theo’s company than his family did. But she hated it when he had to get up and leave, returning to his own bed, leaving her cold and alone.

One Friday afternoon, she accompanied him to the Grand Central Depot, where he was off to spend the weekend in Albany.

“Enjoy your time away,” she said. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

His eyes twinkled at her, full of mischief. “Even better, I’ll stop in Sunday evening. My train gets in late, but I’ll pop up to you before . . .”

Before heading home. There was no need to finish the sentence.

Sunday evening, Sara made herself a simple dinner of beans on toast and sat down to read, hoping the book would keep her mind off the sound of his knock on the door. His train was due to arrive at nine thirty. By eleven o’clock she began pacing. She was silly to think that he’d remember to stop by. He’d surely be there in the morning, apologizing and carrying sketches for her to look over.

Mrs. Camden and the children and that baby, the new one, kept coming to mind. What were their lives like? Did they miss Theo, feel the absence of his interest? Or did he turn into another person entirely when he stepped over the threshold of their door, one who made up for the long hours away with smiles and hugs and presents?

She couldn’t bear it. The hour was late enough that the children would have been put to bed by now. All she wanted was to walk past their door. The one he went through and became an unknown presence to her. The pain of being apart, of not knowing every inch of him, drove her out of the quiet safety of her rooms.

She tiptoed down the stairway to the west side of the building. When she turned the corner to their hall, she froze. A ghost of a small child stood in the middle of the hallway about twenty feet away. Sara stifled a scream and the ghost did as well, the two of them terrified by each other.

Peering through the dim light, Sara recognized one of the twins, Lula. She wore only her nightdress, and gave a small hiccup.

Sara wasn’t seeing things, this was indeed an actual human being. As she drew near, she noticed that the girl’s face was red and streaked with tears.

“Lula? What are you doing out here?” She knelt down and took the girl’s hands in her own.

The girl shook her head, unable to speak, and fell sobbing into Sara’s arms.

“What’s wrong, where’s your mother?”

“Inside. She’s sick. She told me to get help, but I don’t know where to go.”

“Why didn’t you fetch a servant or ring downstairs?”

“They’re all gone out tonight. And after Mother caught me playing with the electric bell, she told me never to use it again.”

“Poor girl. There now, I’m here.”

Sara held Lula’s hand as they entered the front door. Only a few lamps were lit, and the place was full of gloom and shadows. From the far rooms came the sound of a baby crying.

“Show me where your mother is.”

An eerie tableau greeted Sara when she opened the door to the main bedchamber. Mrs. Camden lay on the bed, her skin as pale as the pillow. Emily and Luther stood around her silently, patting her arms. They barely moved as Sara drew closer.

“Mrs. Camden?”

The woman opened her eyes and tried to speak, but her breath caught in her throat.