That Secret Crush (Getting Lucky #3)(77)

“Did he say why?”

“Oh yeah. He told me we need to focus on the restaurant, that he can’t handle both things and in the long run he’s going to end up hurting me, so we should just break up now. Mind you, he said take a break at first, and I thought he was totally Ross-ing me for a second, but he changed his tune really quickly to breakup. Probably didn’t want to get into that whole we were on a break argument.”

“Okay, rewind,” Harper says. “What did you say to him?”

I take another gulp of scotch, savoring the intense burn singeing down my throat. “Oh, this is the real kicker. He said he wanted to break up with me, and do you know what I said?”

“Please don’t tell me it involved three words,” Rogan says, wincing.

“Oh yes it did.” I nod. “Told that backward-hat-wearing motherfucker that I loved him. I proclaimed it to all the cars in the parking lot. I love Reid Knightly, and then he told me I didn’t. Which, God”—I turn to Harper—“isn’t it so wonderful when men tell you how you’re supposed to feel? There’s nothing better than a human with a dick coming up to you and saying, That’s not how you feel, peasant woman.” I pat my chest. “Really makes your nipples hard, doesn’t it?”

“Umm, sweetie, maybe we shouldn’t drink so much. I love you, but you’re really starting to sound a little crazy.”

“Oh no, I’m just getting started.” I take another swig, regaining some strength in my legs, and pace the room again. “I’ve had the absolute worst crush on that stupid man for so long that I can’t even remember the last time I didn’t compare another man to him. He’s always been my gold standard. Reid Knightly. He’s the most irritating asshole to ever cross my path, and yet I’m that idiot girl who thinks she can make him feel, make him change his ways and fall head over heels in love with her. And just like the idiot girl in every other movie and book, I come up short.”

“It doesn’t make sense.” Rogan pulls on the back of his neck. “He was almost Brig-level infatuated when he told us about you two getting together. He was really happy.”

“Yeah, well, he got what he wanted, and now he’s walking away. And working with him is exceptional, just an absolute dream come true. But the worst part of it all is that it’s like, in his mind, we never even dated, he’s never seen me naked, and he’s never taken”—I hold my hands out wide and thrust my pelvis in the air—“that giant cock of his and shoved it right up my ma-moo.” I jab my finger in the air. Harper looks positively disgusted.

“What the actual fuck is a ma-moo?”

I wiggle my finger at her crotch. “Vagina.”

“For the love of God, just say vagina. No one wants you saying ma-moo.”

“I don’t know, I kind of liked it,” Rogan says with a smile. “Does your ma-moo want to play with my pee-pee when we get home?”

“And you just made my nipples shrivel up, thank you.” Harper shivers.

Rogan chuckles, the sound almost identical to Reid’s. It’s infuriating.

“Why can’t Reid be more like you?” I say, feeling deflated. “When you two got back together, it was—?” I pause and stare directly at Rogan. “Oh my God, if this has to do with that stupid, idiotic curse you four believe in, I am going to become one ax-wielding, pencil-snapping psychopath, and when I say pencil, I mean penis.” I throw my hands out to the side. “I will chop off all the penises.”

“I don’t think this has to do with the curse,” Rogan says quickly. “Although his curse could technically be in his head. Self-sabotage.”

“Oh my God, I will scream.”

“Okay.” Rogan holds his hands up. “Okay, just take a deep breath. I’m sure there’s a reason behind whatever Reid did, stupid as it might be.”

“Which means,” Harper cuts in, her eyes blazing, “you get to make his life hell.”

“What do you mean?”

“Remember when Rogan was being a dick to me, back when I first came back to town?”

“In my defense,” Rogan says, “I was so goddamn in love with you I didn’t know how to control my emotions.” Harper melts just a little at that. Stepping out from behind her desk, she walks up to him, sits on his lap, and presses a quick kiss to his lips before turning back to me.

“When he was being awful,” she continues, “you told me that it was time to make him jealous, remind him of everything he was missing out on.”

“Wow, Eve. Thanks a lot,” Rogan deadpans.

“Whatever, you got the girl.” I roll my eyes at him and lean forward. “Tell me more.”

Harper eyes me, her gaze sweeping over my knotted hair and rumpled clothes. “Well, look at you. You don’t look like the cool and confident Eve I know—the Eve who can take down any man with one bat of her long, pretty lashes. You look like a disheveled bag lady who got dressed in the dark. And do you have mascara only on one eye?” I solemnly nod. “That’s what I thought. You need to pull it together, woman. You are better than this. You are stronger than this, and you know it. Yes, Reid broke your heart, but I bet you anything he’s just as unhappy as you are.”

“Yeah, okay. Trust me, he didn’t look at all heartbroken today. He’s probably glad he lost the old ball and chain. He was practically glowing today.”