That Secret Crush (Getting Lucky #3)(37)

“Doesn’t matter who told me.”

“Dad . . .”

Chuckling, he leans back in his chair and drums his knuckles on the table. “It was Brig.”

“Fucking idiot,” I mutter and take a bite of the chili. “I swear he can’t keep anything to himself.”

“In his defense, he was so excited that he had to tell someone.”

“Oh, I’m sure he did. He doesn’t have any self-control.”

“He’s just a romantic like your father.” Dad plucks a chip from the bowl, scoops some of my chili, and pops it in his mouth.

“At least you know when to keep a secret.”

“That I do.” He clears his throat. “So, think you can carve out some time to talk to your old man?”

“What’s it about?”

“Your future.”

Those two words make my entire nutsac shrivel up. Your future. How many times has my dad had this conversation with me? More than I can count, and every time it consists of him trying to get me out of my “rut,” as he likes to say. I know he’s worried, and for a good reason—I’m not the same guy that I was a few years ago. My drive is gone, and I just can’t bring myself to look for more in my life. But all his “talks,” all his worries . . . all they do is push me further and further away from my old dreams.

“Spare me the lecture, Dad. I’m not interested.”

“This isn’t a lecture.”

“No, it’s you expressing your concerns. I get it. I’m not like my brothers—I don’t have a thriving business to call my own. I’m not like Jen—I don’t have a family to come home to. I’m a fuckup who lives on a houseboat with nothing to his name besides a few hundred in the bank account. We can’t all be perfect, Dad.”

“I’m not asking you to be perfect.”

“Not outright, but I can see it in your eyes. I’m an embarrassment to the family. The black sheep, the one child who has literally nothing going for him except a girl who seems to have lost her mind and decided to date him. But trust me, I’m sure I’ll fuck that up too.” What is she even doing with me in the first place? The girl is so goddamn ambitious. For the past seven years she’s been earning her college degree in business, on top of working full time and everything else she’s gone through. Isn’t she afraid I’ll hold her back? Because I am.

It wasn’t until she told me about going to school that I really saw the vast difference between our lives. She’s thriving and I’m stagnant. Will she realize I’m not good enough for her?

I’m the Knightly who’s not going anywhere. Why would anyone want to attach themselves to that?

“Now listen here.” My dad’s voice grows angry, but I don’t give him time to finish.

My spoon clanks against my bowl as I push back from the table and make my way down the hall to the front door.

“Thanks for the chili, Dad, but I’ve lost my appetite.”

“Reid, I’m trying to talk to you,” his voice booms from behind me.

“How many times have I told you that I don’t want to have that conversation?” I yell back. “Just let me be. Let me be the family fuckup. I’m fine with that as long as everyone just stays out of my goddamn business.”

“Reid.”

The door shuts behind me before Dad can get in another word. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll be getting a call from Griffin later about disrespecting him, but I’m not going to worry about that right now. I just need to get far, far away.

Carve some time out for him. Like I really want to fucking find time to hear about my mistakes all over again. I’m well aware of where I’ve fallen short. I don’t need a reminder—I live with my failure every damn day of my life.



“Why are you sitting in the dark?” Eve asks, stepping into her apartment and switching on the light before tossing her things to the side. “And why aren’t you naked, on the bed, legs spread?”

I don’t answer. Instead I sip my beer and stare out the window from my spot on her couch. Numb. It’s how I’ve felt ever since I left my parents’ house. I debated even showing up at Eve’s tonight but knew that if I didn’t, she’d be coming to the houseboat, and I didn’t want her to drive down to the harbor after a long shift.

“Hey, what’s going on?” She sits down next to me on her couch and takes my face in her hands, tilting my head toward her.

“Rough day.”

She studies me, her beautiful hazel eyes searching for any kind of clue. “Am I missing something? Last time I saw you, you couldn’t not smile. What happened in the last six hours?”

“Nothing I want to bother you with.” I let out a deep breath and, trying to pull it together, put my arm around her and ask, “How was work?”

“No way, not happening. You are not going to deflect. Talk to me, Reid.”

I drag my hand down my face. “I really don’t want to get into it, okay? It’s just going to ruin the night.”

“Well, that’s already happened since you weren’t naked.” She crawls onto my lap and faces me, the warmth in her eyes starting to thaw the icy walls I threw up the minute my dad tried to get serious. “Talk to me.”