That Secret Crush (Getting Lucky #3)(29)
“So you think you have a love curse?” I ask.
“No.” The tension in my shoulders eases at his words. Though I don’t believe in curses, I still don’t want to be dating a man who believes his love life is doomed. That’s just setting up our entire relationship for failure. “But I do believe I’m cursed,” he adds.
Okay, wasn’t expecting that.
“What do you mean?”
Staring up at the ceiling, he places the hand that’s not gripping me behind his head and props himself up a bit. I hold on tight as he shifts and gets comfortable. “It was right after we ran into that lady that Eric called me. And that’s when I lost everything. I’ve tried telling myself the two are unrelated, but fuck”—he blows out a long breath of air—“it just feels like ever since that night, I’ve been stuck in a weird sort of purgatory.”
“How so?” I ask, not wanting to push too much but also taking advantage of this moment, this rare glimpse of Reid dropping all the sarcasm and actually opening up.
“All my siblings seem to have something going for them. Jen has her amazing family, and even though she complains about her hellion children, I know they’re her life and everything she’s ever wanted. Griff has the Lobster Landing now and his volunteering. He’s in heaven, so add Ren to that, and his life is made. Rogue practically owns Port Snow. He’s built a small empire and has refurbished the rundown houses in town, bringing out their beauty again. And then Brig, who’s the baby of the family and the one who isn’t supposed to have his shit together, is fucking thriving. He’s built a business the town desperately needed and then branched out from there with restoring cars, renting out old classics to tourists, and even turning his garage into an event space. Everyone has their shit together but me.”
“You opened a restaurant at twenty-three, Reid.”
“Yeah, and I failed, horribly. I failed so fucking badly that I had to come crawling back home. And on top of that, I lost my best friend, I’m stuck trapping lobsters every goddamn day of my life just to make ends meet, and I’m forced to work at the family business where I despise each and every shift. I’m fucking miserable, Eve, and I have nothing to show for all the hard work I put in when I was younger. All the things I missed—the dances, the football games, the dates I could have gone on—I pushed everything aside to chase a dream I ended up massively failing at.”
I bite my bottom lip, really unsure of what to say. How do you tell someone they aren’t worthless when that’s what they truly believe? How do you tell someone that failing doesn’t mean you quit, that failing is just a stepping stone to achieving what you want in life?
I know I could easily say all of that to Reid, but he wouldn’t listen. I know him. He’s so set in his beliefs that anything I say in this moment will go in one ear and out the other.
So instead of trying to fix how he sees himself, I need to help him see himself the way I do: strong, loyal, and caring.
“I don’t think about it that way.” I sit up so I can look him in the eye. Instead of shying away, he brings his hand to my cheek and rubs his thumb across my face. I lean into his touch, into his wide, large hand. “I see you as a man who went for his dreams, a man who loves his family, who adores his friends, who strives to help his town, and who continues to move forward despite his setbacks.”
“You see all that?” he asks, a lazy smile dragging across his face.
“Yes, I do.”
“Nothing else? Nothing at all?”
And just like that, Reid ends the serious conversation and deflects with humor as he thrusts his hips toward me. For a brief moment, it makes me sad because I wanted to dive into his feelings, to move past the thin veil of sarcasm the two of us seem to depend on. But I shouldn’t expect anything else when it comes to Reid; I should be grateful for the small moment he just gave me, even if it barely skimmed the surface of the complex man he is beneath all the humor.
And I don’t want to be that girl, that girl who tries to pry every last feeling out of him or who spends morning and night attempting to “fix” him. It will only drive us apart. We are so new, just trying to figure everything out, and I don’t want to ruin that by trying to dive too deep right off the bat.
But I will be the girl who tries to show him his worth, because he is worth so much more than what he believes.
“Are you done with the innuendos?” I smile despite myself.
“Just want to make sure you acknowledge my dick.”
He’s so ridiculous. I’ve never in my life met a man more obsessed with his penis than Reid Knightly. At least he has a good reason for the obsession.
I reach down and cup him, pulling a hiss from between his teeth. “Don’t worry, I’ll always acknowledge your dick.”
“Damn right.”
He rolls me onto my back, and with a perfect almost-evil grin, he moves down my body and parts my legs. I sink into the mattress and catch my breath as Reid presses his mouth against me, one possessive kiss at a time.
CHAPTER NINE
REID
Why do all these candles smell like burnt ass?
I put the brown three-wick back on the shelf, pick up a jar of coffee beans, and take a big whiff. According to Melanie, the owner of Sticks and Wicks, coffee beans cleanse your nose so you can have a clear sniff of the next candle. I was skeptical at first, but after “cleansing” the first go-around, I became a supporter of the beans.