That Second Chance (Getting Lucky #1)(98)

Kathy takes a seat and cuts straight to the chase. “Did you ever read any of my letters before yesterday?”

That would be a negative.

I left her phone calls unanswered and her letters unread. Her invitation to visit never was accepted. I blocked this woman out of my life, too ashamed to show my face around her.

Feeling nervous and embarrassed, I shake my head.

She nods. “So you didn’t answer my phone calls or read my letters.”

“Kathy.” I let out a heavy breath. “I wasn’t in a good place. I felt—”

“Like you were the reason why my daughter died, right?”

Mouth agape, I sit there, shocked. Fuck, the last thing I would have wanted was for Kathy to hear about the trip to New Orleans.

“You don’t have to answer. I know that’s what you think.” She sets her water down on the coffee table. “You might not have talked to me, but I’ve stayed in touch with your mom and sister. And I’m going to be frank with you. You’re an idiot.”

Uh, this isn’t the sweet and kind Kathy I know. Then again, ignoring someone for over two years could possibly irritate them.

“You know I love you, Griffin. You’re like the son I never had. So that’s how I’m going to treat you now, by giving you a bit of a lecture.” She clears her throat. “After Claire passed, I had the doctors and the coroner search for the reason she was taken away from us so young. You were lost in your own grief, but I needed a reason. If you had read the letters or answered the phone calls or listened to the voice mails from the doctors, you would have found out quickly that Claire’s heart attack was unavoidable.”

Every muscle in my body stiffens as I struggle to comprehend what she’s saying.

“I knew you were carrying Claire’s death heavily on your shoulders, so I dug deep, not only for you but for my peace of mind.” She takes a deep breath. “Claire had thick blood, a condition called hypercoagulability, and we were never aware of it. The healthiest people can have very thick blood, which can cause an onslaught of issues. In Claire’s case, it formed a blood clot in her heart and caused her heart attack. Even if you had been there to give her CPR, she wouldn’t have made it. There was nothing anyone could have done. Losing Claire was inevitable, Griffin. This curse you believe in, this black magic you think dictates your life—it’s all in your head. For Claire, the timing was unfortunate, but no matter what, even if you’d never run into that palm reader, Claire would have passed. This is not on you.”

Tears well up in my eyes, and for a moment, I swear I feel someone behind me, as if Claire is there, encouraging me to accept this. I miss her so goddamn much, but it’s time. The clouds above me start to part, realization hitting me square in the chest.

“The only curse I see is you not living your life to the fullest, and that’s a shame. You’re a good man with so much to offer. I would hate to see you walk away from someone who brings you joy for the first time in years.”

I press my palms to my eyes, my emotions getting the best of me. “It was an unavoidable blood clot?”

“Yes, sweetie.” Kathy’s voice softens. “There is nothing you could have done, nothing anyone could have done, for that matter. Please stop blaming yourself for something you had nothing to do with.”

Fuck, this is hard to process.

For so long, I’ve taken the blame; I’ve shouldered the responsibility of losing Claire. I ignored her mom; I ignored the doctors. I shut off that side of my life, convinced I was to blame.

But Ren was right; the only curse I’m facing is self-sabotage, letting it take over every aspect of my life and cutting myself off from one of the greatest things I’ve ever experienced: Ren’s love.

It isn’t until your mind has matured that the weight of this curse will forever be cured.

Shit.

Not taking the blame, letting go of the responsibility for Claire’s death—that’s where my mind matures. That’s where I can start living again.

And just like that, a weight lifts off my shoulders, like air was just breathed into my lungs, reinvigorating me.

“Holy shit.” I stand, gripping my forehead, everything falling into place, clear as day. “What the hell have I done?”

“You’ve acted like an idiot, sweetie,” Kathy answers with a smile. “If you’d just talked to me, instead of shutting me out of your life . . .”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” I pull her to her feet and wrap her in a bear hug. “I’m so sorry, Kathy. I was just . . . lost.”

“I know.” She squeezes me tightly. “But I think you need to find your way again, and this girl your sister told me all about, Ren, she seems really special. There is no doubt in my mind that Claire was the one who brought you two together. She’s always liked a moose on the side of the road.” Kathy’s voice catches, even as she leans back and winks at me.

“She did.” I chuckle and release Kathy, pushing my hands through my hair as I blink back tears. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I can think of a few things,” Kathy says. “Take a shower, shave, and get your ass to Ren’s house, ready to beg and plead to win her back.”

That makes me smile, because it almost sounded like Claire just said that rather than her mom.