Tease (Cloverleigh Farms #8)(79)

Hey, I want to apologize about yesterday. I can see now that it wasn’t a good idea. This thing with us has sort of taken me by surprise, and I’m not sure how to handle it. Anyway, I miss you and I’m sorry. Give me a call when you can.

I read it aloud ten times. Then I dialed her number.

My pulse kicked up a little as it rang, and I took a few deep breaths, scanning the words I’d scribbled out.

“Hello?”

Oh, shit. She answered. “Uh . . . hi.”

“Hi.”

“I didn’t think you’d answer. I thought you were at work.”

“I wasn’t feeling well tonight. I took the night off.”

“Are you okay?” I asked, immediately concerned.

“I’m fine. Just . . . needed a night off.”

“Oh.” I was scrambling for words when I heard another voice in the background. “Is someone there?”

“Millie. She’s, um, helping me with something.”

“Oh.”

“She says good luck tomorrow.”

“Tell her thanks.” I looked at the handwritten message I’d planned to leave and wondered if I should still read it. I felt a little weird about it now that I knew she wasn’t alone.

“How’s your trip so far?”

“It’s fine.”

“How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

“Nervous.”

“You’re gonna be amazing. I know it.”

“Thanks.” I felt like a goose egg was stuck in my throat. “Felicity, I . . . I want to say something, but I don’t know how.”

“Hang on.” Her voice grew muffled, but it sounded like she was telling Millie she was going outside for a minute. A moment later, she said, “What do you want to say?”

I love you. I need you. I want you in my life, by my side. Let’s find a way to make it work.

But what I said was, “I’m sorry.”

Silence. “For what?”

“For what I said yesterday morning. I shouldn’t have made the offer about the house.”

“Oh. It’s okay,” she said. “You did it to be nice. I understand.”

It sounded like she might be crying, which made my chest feel like it was splitting in two. I was desperate to hold onto her, but I felt like my hands were tied. “You know I would do anything for you, if you asked.”

“I know.” Her voice trembled. “But some things you can’t ask for.”

“Felicity—”

“It was a good idea we had. To end things how we planned.”

That caught me off guard. “What?”

“It’s the right way. The only way. We’ll get through the party, and then figure things out. But it’s nothing you need to worry about now. Focus on the hearing, and we’ll talk when you get back.”

I tried to swallow and couldn’t. “Is that what you want?”

“It’s what we agreed to, Hutton.” Her voice broke on my name. “It’s how this was always going to end.”





That night, when I got ready for bed, I found the small plastic bottle of lotion she’d tucked into my toiletry bag. At first, I thought she’d done it by mistake, but then I noticed she’d written on it—in one of those eyeliner pencils?—using our code.

Breathe, it said. You got this.

I unscrewed the top and held the lotion to my nose, inhaling. The lavender and vanilla scent hit me like a tidal wave.

Allie was right. Felicity was so good for me.

Was it possible I could be good enough for her?





TWENTY-ONE





FELICITY





I stood out on Hutton’s deck for a few minutes, allowing myself a good cry. Eventually, Millie came out with two glasses of wine.

She handed one to me. “Hey. Thought maybe you could use this. Hope Hutton doesn’t mind I opened a bottle of wine.”

“He won’t. I probably bought it anyway. But what I really need is a tissue.”

“Be right back.”

She went into the house and returned a minute later with a box of Kleenex, setting it on the wooden rail. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” I set my glass next to the box, plucked a tissue, and blew my nose.

“God, it’s beautiful here.” Millie breathed in the fresh, woodsy air. “I wouldn’t want to leave either.”

“It’s not the view I’m going to miss most.”

She glanced at me. “I know. I loaded the last bag in the car.”

“Thanks. I promise I won’t stay with you too long—just until after the party, when it will make more sense that I had to move out of here.”

“You can stay with me as long as you need to.” She sipped her wine. “So what did he say?”

“He said he was sorry for offering me a place to live when he leaves.”

“That’s it?”

“He also said he would do anything for me, if I asked.”

Millie sighed. “But you can’t ask him to love you.”

“Nope,” I said, my voice breaking again. “I can’t.”