Taste (Cloverleigh Farms, #7)(63)

Pausing for a couple deep breaths, I told myself all I had to do was handle a few hours of work. Then I could come back up to my room and fall apart again. Of course, I was scheduled to work at Etoile tonight, which meant coming face to face with Gianni, but I wouldn’t think about that yet.

One thing at a time.





Somehow, I made it through the day.

After my last tasting, I closed up the room and went upstairs to find Winnie. I had to tell someone or I was going to go crazy.

I found her in my mom’s office, which was just off the lobby. The door was open, but I knocked on it. “Hey.”

She looked up, and at first she smiled, but it quickly faded. “What’s wrong?”

“Got a minute?”

“Of course. Come in.”

I entered the office and perched on the edge of a chair across from the desk while Winnie shut the door. “What’s going on?” she asked, coming to sit in the chair next to me.

I pressed my knees together and looked down at them. Took a deep breath. “It’s bad.”

“How bad?”

I met her worried eyes. “Bad,” I said, my voice cracking, my eyes filling. “And I’m so alone.”

She leaned forward and took my hand. “You are not alone. You will never be alone. Tell me what’s going on.”

I closed my eyes, tears spilling over. “I’m pregnant.”

She gasped, then immediately popped out of her seat to hug me. I rose to my feet and clung to her, sobbing on her shoulder. I’d held it in all day, and it felt so good to finally let everything out. Winnie held me and rubbed my back, saying nothing, just being there, which was what I needed.

After a few minutes, I calmed down enough to let her go and grab a tissue. “Sorry,” I said before blowing my nose. “I just made a mess of your shirt.”

“Forget my shirt,” she said. “Ell, are you sure? About the—the—” She gestured vaguely at my stomach.

“Baby,” I said, grabbing a second tissue. “And there’s no use avoiding the word, because I’m as sure as two positive pregnancy tests can be.”

“What if it was a false positive?”

“Twice?” I blew my nose again. “No. Plus, it explains a lot of other symptoms. I have not felt right in a month. And this morning, I popped a fucking button off my pants.”

For a second, I thought Winnie was going to laugh, but she just pressed her lips together. “Is it . . . from the time with Gianni?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“You guys didn’t use protection?”

“We did,” I protested. “Every time! Except—except for those five minutes.”

“Five minutes?”

“We got a little carried away the second night, and there were a few minutes we didn’t use a condom. But I guess that’s all it took. Or else the condoms failed.”

Winnie sighed. “It doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“Nope. It sure doesn’t.” I closed my eyes, fighting off more tears. “God, Winnie. What am I going to do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to go back in time and tell him to get off me!”

She couldn’t quite hide her smile. “I bet.”

“It was just a blizzard bang!” I started pacing. “It wasn’t supposed to count! You even said it wouldn’t count!”

“Yeah, I guess I didn’t exactly think it through this far.”

“Clearly we didn’t either.” I stopped moving and buried my face in my hands. “Oh, God. I have to tell him, don’t I?”

“Yes, Ellie. You do.”

“Jesus, I have to tell my parents too.”

“Well, yes. I mean, they’d probably notice the belly eventually.”

I sank into the chair again. “My dad will be so disappointed. And my mother . . . I cannot even imagine what my mother will say.”

Winnie knelt at my feet, placing a hand on my arm. “She’ll be supportive, Ellie. They both will. I mean, maybe they’ll even be happy.”

“I’m about to make Mia a grandmother, Winnie. Does that strike you as something she’ll be happy about?”

“Umm . . .” Winnie looked to the left.

“God.” I dropped my face into my hands. “This is such a nightmare. I don’t know what to do. I’m too young for this. And Gianni is worse.”

“You could give the baby up for adoption,” Winnie suggested. “My aunt April did that when she got pregnant at eighteen. She said she couldn’t give the baby the kind of life he would deserve, and it was the hardest thing she’s ever done, but it was right. You’ve met my cousin Chip—he’s had an amazing life!”

“I thought about Chip today,” I said quietly. “But I just don’t think I could give a baby up. I’m not a teenager. I’m done with school, and I have a good job and a beautiful home. I could give a child a good life, I’m just . . . scared.”

“Don’t be.” She squeezed my hand. “You’ll be a great mom, even if you have to do it on your own.”

“Oh, I’ll definitely have to do it on my own. Gianni is on his way out of here in one month.”