Tarian Alpha (New Tarian Pride #1)(13)

Before she could change her mind, Emerald slid her arms around his waist and squeezed. Ronin froze, and every muscle went tense under her embrace. She could’ve been hugging a boulder. She didn’t care, though. What did she have to lose? She had three hours before she returned to Hell. “Thank you for that day on the playground. I always remembered you. Even when I thought you were dead, you were remembered. I used memories of you to remind myself there were good people in the world.”

Ronin softened and slipped his hands gently around her, pulling her against him like she was fragile. “Oh, Em. You’ve been mistaken. I’m not good. But I will make sure you’re okay.”

“It won’t be okay if you’re the one to take me back to Cassius. I want to go alone.”

“Not a chance in he—”

“This is my choice. I choose to go back.”

“You choose him?”

Heart banging against her sternum, she croaked out, “Yes.”

“Lie. There was no truth in that answer at all. I’m going to ask you that again before today is done, and next time I want the truth.”

“I thought you died once,” she whispered. “It was awful, and I mourned a boy I barely knew. And now I care more. You’ve showed me kindness twice now. On the playground and last night. And for some reason, it means a lot. I really feel it. I want you to live.”

“Sweet Kitty,” Ronin said low. “I’m not the boy I once was.” And that wasn’t a lie. His voice was scary-steady when he uttered that promise. “You want to go back, I’ll take you back.” His face changed suddenly, and a snarl ripped out of him, his entire body clenching as he tore his gaze away from hers and stared at the wall across the room. He was hugging her so tight, her back popped a few times. Felt kinda good, but he murmured “sorry” in a low and gritty voice. “We have three hours until we need to head that way. Let’s take a break.”

“A break from what?”

He dragged fiery green-gold eyes with small pupils back to her. Hello, lion. “A break from both of our lives.” When his gaze dipped to her lips, she thought he would kiss her.

Do it.

He smelled so good, and his power had enveloped them in a little bubble of safety. All of her chaotic emotions overwhelmed her and made her desperate to get lost in his strength for a second. To not feel like crying, worrying, or mourning for a moment. To not think at all. And Ronin could give that to her with a kiss, consequences be damned.

Be bold.

Three hours, and she would disappear again. She would be a ghost, living from one second to the next with no purpose. But here and now, she could be alive. She counted to three as she searched his face and then brushed her fingertips down his beard. He rolled his eyes closed and huffed a breath, then opened his eyes to watch her again.

Take a chance.

Because when else would she have this opportunity? Emerald stretched her neck up slightly, but just when she was inches from his lips, he touched the injured side of her face gently and shook his head.

His eyes swam with some dark emotion she didn’t understand. “You don’t belong to me. Not like this.” And then he dropped his head and clamped his teeth gently on her neck. She froze there under the intimate touch, shocked, turned on…devoted to this moment with him. It was the only bite she would ever really want, and for the rest of her life, she would hold this memory. The one where she wished for a life that wasn’t in her stars.

Ronin released her skin, released her from his arms, released her completely. Just…let her go. He stood and left the room. “I’ll meet you outside.”

And for the second time today, the closing of the door felt symbolic, not just physical.

Emerald had never been more confused by a man in her entire life.

He was a study of opposites.

Moral compass but a killer.

Kidnapper but counting down the hours until he took her back.

Affectionate but left as soon as she got close.

I’m not the boy I once was.

No, he was not. And what was she? The exact same. Submissive, helpless to a bully on the playground and in need of a hero. But now it was on a bigger scale. Helpless to Cassius’s bullying, she needed Ronin to save her.

What would she learn about herself, good and bad, if she was put in a position where she had to stand alone?

The grit in her wanted to know. She didn’t know how she was going to do it, but she was going to escape Ronin to keep him safe, and she was going to face Cassius on her own.

And fuck that contract.

She didn’t have a plan, but she was going to figure out a way to get her dad out of there. To get them both out of there.

No man would ever hurt her again. No man had that right. In shock, she had taken it from Cassius, and the shame still heated her cheeks. But Ronin had gritted out a reminder. She was a Tarian lioness, and he was right. It didn’t matter if she was submissive; she was still valuable. She was still a person. She’d hated the Tarians for so long, but those words had filled her with the ghost of a feeling she’d never thought she would associate with her history—pride. She remembered those Tarian lionesses of her childhood. Warriors. Hunters. So the Old Tarian Pride had been replacing those badasses with the easily breakable. Fuck the males for their weakness. She remembered what she could be.

The image of the hate twisting Ronin’s face flashed through her mind. You them him back.