Take a Chance (Chance, #1; Rosemary Beach #7)(31)

“Are you going to hate me forever?” he asked.

I didn’t hate him. That wasn’t what this was about. Did he not get that? He had laid the terms down. I was just protecting myself from him.

“I don’t hate you. I just know where I stand with you and I’m being careful not to think too much about it, or you, for that matter.”

He didn’t say anything. Good. I’d shut him up. Maybe he would move and I wouldn’t have to keep smelling him. All warm and delicious. I knew how that skin felt against mine and I did not need reminders.

“I made a mistake, Harlow. I was scared and I f**ked up.”

I finally turned to look at him. We’d already had this discussion. I didn’t want to have it again. “I know. You told me already. I get it.” I started to turn away again but Grant grabbed my chin and gently turned my face back to his.

“No. We haven’t talked about this. I told you bullshit that isn’t true. I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship. That was a lie. I was f**king terrified of loving someone so much and then losing her. But I’m not anymore. I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

I didn’t reply because I had no idea what he was talking about.

“I want you. I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you. When I was buried inside of you I knew then I was sunk. Those pretty hazel eyes and angelic smile had started digging inside me and making themselves at home in my heart. But that night . . . you claimed me, and I can’t shake it. I can’t forget it.”

Oh. I stared up at him as his words sank in. Did this mean he wanted this with me? Or was he just saying this because he wanted to have sex again?

He lowered his head until his lips were barely brushing my ear. “You’re all I want. Forgive me for running? Please.”

I moved away from him, putting some space there between us. “Don’t. I’m not ready to just forget that you slept with Nan or that you didn’t call me for two months.”

Grant frowned and ran his hand through his long hair, making it even more tousled looking. “I did call. Ask Dean. He’ll tell you. I don’t know why you didn’t get calls to your phone but I was calling the hell out of it. I thought you had found out about my drunk screw-up with Nan and were done with me. Your dad threatened to call the cops if I showed up at your house. I started drinking a lot to forget you, and yeah, Nan happened to be there.”

Had he really tried to call me? Why would Dad keep me from him? Unless he knew about Nan and Grant. That would be a reason for Dad to threaten Grant. Was he telling the truth?

“I want to be near you. When I am, everything else fades away and I can’t concentrate on anything but you. That’s what scared me, but I’ve decided I was stupid to be scared of that. It’s special. You’re special.”

My grandmama would tell me to ignore the sweet talk and walk away. But then my grandmama had never laid eyes on Grant Carter. He was too appealing for words. I missed him. This. Being with him. I missed it. He had shown me how to enjoy life, if only for two weeks. I had felt like I was finally living when I was with him.

“I don’t think I can trust my good sense with you,” I told him honestly.

“You’ll find out you can trust me. I’m not a bad guy. Deep down you know that. I just made a very bad decision.”

Taking chances had never been my thing. I wasn’t a risk taker. I was careful. I didn’t get hurt. I protected myself. I had walls. Grant had made it past my walls once. Letting him in again was asking a lot.

He moved over to me and put his head on my shoulder. “I’m not above begging,” he said.

I shivered from the tingle of his breath against my skin. This was a bad idea. Grant was good at sweet-talking. With his looks and his mouth he could talk a girl into anything. If I let myself care about him any more it would only end in heartache.

“Don’t beg. Just give me some space. I need to think,” I replied, pressing myself further away from him. The fact that I wanted to crawl into his lap and wrap myself around him was not good. I used to be stronger than this. He talked about me making him weak; if he only knew how weak he made me.

Grant gave me this sad look that only made his face more appealing. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Don’t. You’ve been sleeping with Nan. I heard you. Do you have any idea what that feels like? To know that the loud screams that kept you up at night were actually images of someone-—” I stopped myself. I was going to say too much.

“It keeps me awake at night. I hate knowing you heard that. I don’t even remember much about that night. But knowing you heard us . . . it kills me.”

I looked out the window so I could open my eyes. I didn’t trust myself with those eyes of his locked on me. “Put yourself in my shoes. What if you had heard me hav**g s*x with another man . . . one you hated. How would it make you feel?”

Grant didn’t reply. I thought maybe I had shut him up and he was going to leave me alone. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time.

Grant moved closer to me again and his hand reached up and brushed the hair on my neck away. “The idea of some other man touching you makes me so f**king insane, I want to destroy shit. I can’t imagine it, and just thinking about it makes me shake with fury.”

I could feel the stiffness to his body as it brushed against my side.