Take My Hand(64)

“Thanks for coming. I realize y’all got dinners to cook, kids to get in bed.”

The kitchen door flapped open, and Mr. Singh appeared. For a moment, he stood there, motionless, as if he had no idea who all these people were and what they were doing in the diner. Three lines lay determinedly across the center of his forehead. Then he announced, “I’ve made tea. Tyrell, can you help bring it out?”

“Yes, sir.”

After he left, I took a deep breath and began to address the women. “As y’all know, there is currently a lawsuit filed in Alabama’s federal court against the US government. The attorney, Lou Feldman, has filed a class-action suit on behalf of all the women targeted for coerced sterilizations by federally funded clinics.”

I paused for a moment and studied them. Fiona, Lori, Margaret. Fresh out of nursing school like me, their faces a mix of fear and nerves. Fiona kept glancing at the closed vinyl blinds. Lori could not drive, so she never did home visits. She stayed at the clinic all day and was the primary nurse for walk-ins. She had a double chin and blinked a lot. Margaret chewed gum all the time, a habit Mrs. Seager had hated. She had been written up twice for it. She was chewing ferociously right now, popping the gum between her back teeth.

Then there were Liz and Gina. Younger than Val but older than the rest of us. They had been employed at the clinic the longest. Although it had been Val who accompanied Mrs. Seager on the day the Williams girls were sterilized, I was pretty sure Liz and Gina had known about it. You didn’t work for Mrs. Seager for as long as they had without participating in your share of surgeries.

Ty returned and set a tray of cups stacked inside one another on the table. Cinnamon-scented steam rose from a porcelain teapot. Alicia passed the cups around. There was a lot of tension around the table while we waited for Ty to pour.

I continued. “I understand Mrs. Seager is no longer at the clinic. Did they hire a replacement yet?”

“Why should we tell you? You was fired,” Gina said. “I’m only here because Alicia asked me.”

“Yeah, they hired somebody,” said Liz. “A Black lady. She just started this week.”

“What’s her name?” I asked.

Nobody said anything. They didn’t trust me. In their eyes, I was the traitor.

“Her name is Mrs. Parr,” said Liz. “Why you asking? We ain’t bringing her in this, are we? She had nothing to do with it.”

I shook my head. “I want to start by saying that I’m not going to ask y’all to do anything that will jeopardize your jobs.”

“Jeopardize our jobs?” interrupted Val. “I thought we was here to talk about how we can help them girls. How we can make this right.”

“We are,” I said. “If we help with Lou’s case, we can help them.”

“Case? We ain’t no lawyers.”

“I thought you just wanted us to send the girls some clothes or something.”

“Why are we here?”

“See, that’s your problem right there. You don’t mind your own business.”

“I told y’all we shouldn’t come.”

“Ladies, ladies,” I said, spreading my hands out in front of me. “Just hear me out.”

Val pushed her tea away. “Now look, Civil. I feel terrible about what happened to them girls. If I could turn back the clock, I would tell Mrs. Seager to kiss my behind. They was too young. I know that, and that’s why I agreed to this meeting. Ain’t a day go by that I don’t pray to God to forgive me for what I did that morning. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She began to cry. Her tears startled me. She didn’t seem like the crying type.

Alicia moved her chair closer to Val and put an arm around her. Someone else sniffled. We were all sharing in this burden. We had all been taken by the authority of the clinic. We had followed orders.

“I went with her once,” Liz said. “Sixteen-year-old girl with four children. I thought we were doing the right thing.”

“I’ve been there for five surgeries,” said Gina.

Five? I needed to stop this rush of confessions before everybody fell apart. Before I fell apart. “Lou is making an argument about coercion. How poor women can’t make an informed decision when the government is all up in their business. We were coerced, too. By an authority figure who had the US federal government behind her. We got to forgive ourselves and get to work.”

“Not you,” said Margaret, snapping her gum and sipping tea at the same time. “You tried to help that family, Civil. I heard you even got them a new apartment.”

“No, Margaret. I am part of the problem. I was in their lives making decisions that weren’t mine to make. Sure, I had good intentions, but so did Mrs. Seager. We all did.” I had not thought this part through. The words rushed out of my mouth.

“That woman is evil,” Gina said.

“Sure is,” Margaret said.

“Hey.” I accidentally bumped the table and the teacups tinkled. The noise got their attention. “Y’all want to make this right? Help me help Lou.”

Val’s face grew hard and composed again. She had pulled herself together. “What can we do?” she asked.

“Let’s get Lou some evidence of sterilizations of minors in Alabama. There are other federally funded clinics around the state.”