Tacker (Arizona Vengeance #5)(61)

“I don’t,” I say, giving a tiny pat of my hand to his chest. “And I sense there’s more.”

I can always tell when someone’s holding back on me just a bit, and while Tacker has been fully transparent with me since we had his breakthrough of sorts that day he sobbed across Starlight’s back, I know he’s not giving it all to me.

Sighing, Tacker admits, “When you and I were in the bedroom, and things were getting hot… leading up to us fucking… well, part of me hoped it would be mediocre. Because I know mediocre with you would still be fantastic. But I thought to myself, if sex with you was just average, then I would be able to hold a little something of MJ that would still be the most perfect.”

“And,” I press, not because my ego is needing the answer. I know he needs to confront this head-on if he’s going to move forward with a healthy, new relationship.

“I hate I’m comparing the two of you. Fucking hate it, but… what we just did was about as far from mediocre as you can get, and…”

He falters again. Can’t seem to bring himself to say it.

So I step in and give him a hand. “And you think you’re letting MJ down because of how great it was and how much you enjoyed it?”

He nods. “Stupid.”

“Natural,” I correct him. “Spouses and intimate partners have to work through loyalty issues. You’re normal, Tacker. And I’m okay if building something with me causes you to feel guilty about leaving MJ’s memories behind. But you don’t have to do that. You can keep those memories fresh and alive. You can appreciate those things that are still perfect about her, even if it’s things that showcase me as less than stellar.”

“You’re above stellar in every way,” Tacker assures me.

“I most certainly am not. And if we hang in there, you’ll get my bad side eventually.”

“I can handle it,” he says, then gives me an exaggerated smirk. “You can make it up to me in orgasms.”

“I can, can I?” I drawl, giving him a playful push. “I feel like I need to make a few up to you right now. I’ve had far more than you this evening.”

Tacker removes his arms from around me to tuck his hands behind his head. He grins, eyes flashing devilishly. “I’m not averse to you starting on that now.”

Tilting my head, I press a kiss to his chest and slide my hand in between us, searching for his cock. It’s soft and sated in my hand, but it responds almost immediately when I start to stroke.

Tacker’s eyes flutter closed, and a serene smile plays at his lips. I gently move myself down his body, careful not to do anything that would tip us out of the recliner, and finally put my mouth on him.

“Nora,” he murmurs.

I have to admit… I love the sound my name makes on his lips.





CHAPTER 26




Tacker


It’s been a long week, and I’m more than a little excited to see Nora.

On Monday, we had a home game and I was beyond stoked Nora wanted to come. It’s a lot on her to make that forty-five-minute drive to the arena, but it means something to know she’s in the stands watching me. I think it means something to her that I want her there, too.

After the game, we didn’t go out with the team.

Rather, we went to my apartment since I was leaving the next morning for a four-day road trip. Again, another concession Nora is making to spend time with me, as she has an early workday on Tuesday like I do.

I had some foresight, though. After the great air mattress bursting debacle, one thing I did this past weekend was order a bed. It would take a few weeks to come in, but I did manage to get a box spring and mattress to my apartment in the back of my truck. We’d at least be sleeping more comfortably than in a recliner.

Can’t say there was a whole lot of sleeping Monday night. The prospect of not seeing each other for several days apparently gave us both an excess of energy that needed to be expended.

All I can say is sex with Nora is out of this world. The connection is near to perfect, almost as if she were made to fit me. Despite the small twinges of guilt that I’m leaving MJ behind for another woman, my time with Nora is more than I ever expected. It continues to feel right.

It continues to feel like I’m still on the right path.

My relationships with my teammates are flourishing. Laughing is actually quite easy now, and the moments of sadness and guilty reflection are fewer.

I feel like I’m actually entitled to be happy. Frankly, a lot of the credit for that goes to Dr. Dumfries, who I’m still seeing a few times a week. He continues to encourage me to live my life, and he now has me confronting some of the more traumatic events of the crash. I have to give the man credit—he’s nowhere near the douche I had originally assumed him to be.

While I’m as open as I can be with him, I have outright lied to him as to why I’ve returned. There’s no way I could ever tell him about Nora and me because it could put her at risk for some type of censure. So I lied and told him the drive to her place was too inconvenient.

Luckily, our conversations haven’t even gotten close to discussing my readiness to date or open myself back up to romantic relationships. But because it’s team-ordered therapy, he tends to concentrate on what’s needed to better my relationships with my teammates and coaches, and that’s fine by me.