Sweet Little Lies (Cat Kinsella #1)(64)

‘And you met Alice on one of these forums?’

Another nod. ‘You end up talking about all sorts, really. It’s not all tales of woe, you find yourself chatting about what’s on TV, restaurants, husbands, everything. And I’d been chatting to Alice quite a bit and one day I just mentioned how I’d been to Hampton Court and how nice it was to have such a magnificent palace not too far away, and she said, “Oh, we must live fairly close then” and it turns out we did – she was Thames Ditton, right? Anyway, it went from there, really. We started chatting offline and arranged to meet up. It wasn’t a big deal, we just said we’d grab a coffee next time I was down her way or if she was around mine .?.?.’

‘So she gave you the impression she made regular trips into London?’

She gives a small shrug. ‘I suppose so, yes.’

I note this down. ‘OK, so you met up?’

‘Yes, just a few times. Once when I had to pop down her way to buy some hockey stuff for Amber, and then a couple of times at the café near me. The Donatella Caffé, except it wasn’t called that then. I forget the name.’

‘So what did she tell you about herself?’

She leans in, gossipy. ‘Well, this is it, I ended up doing most of the talking. She seemed quite shy in person and I knew quickly that we weren’t going to become best buddies but what I do remember though, is that she and her husband had only been trying for a year or so and she was still young, but she was really, really distressed that it hadn’t happened for them.’ She lets out a shrill laugh. ‘Here was I in my early forties, and we’d been trying for years, and yet it was me that ended up counselling her.’

‘Sounds frustrating.’

‘It was. It was intense. That’s why I phased her out, really. Made excuses not to meet up and so on. She didn’t seem that bothered. And then that sort of coincided with Nate and I getting back on track and well, you’ve seen where that led.’

‘You got your happy ending.’

She smiles. ‘I suppose I did, didn’t I? Doesn’t always feel like that when they’re doing a poo on the floor in John Lewis or wanting to play picnics at three in the morning.’

I laugh. She’s good company. I can see why Alice opened up to her.

‘Seriously, it’s so much harder when you’re that bit older.’ She sizes me up. ‘What are you, mid-twenties? Well, don’t leave it too late would be my advice. You just don’t have the energy. I was twenty-eight when I had Leo – whole different ball game.’

I smile. ‘I’ll bear it in mind. So you hadn’t seen Alice since then, until when?’

She looks rocked by the memory. ‘About a month ago, maybe a bit less. She just turned up out of the blue. Ambushed me. Not at the house but as I was coming up to the main gates. I had the twins in the buggy. Honestly I’ll never forget her face when she saw them.’

‘Did you feel threatened?’

She’s quick to respond. ‘No, no, nothing like that. She just looked .?.?. despairing. I know it’s stupid but I felt awful. Almost like I’d let her down. I know it sounds ridiculous.’

‘How did she know where you lived?’

A tiny vexed shake of the head. ‘She’d actually waited in the café on the main road – a few times, she told me – assuming I’d go past at some point and then she followed me.’

‘And what did she want?’

‘I’ll tell you what I wanted, Detective Kinsella.’

‘Cat, please.’

‘I wanted to get her away from my road, Cat. Nate was due back any minute and he didn’t know anything about my forum “adventures” and I wanted to keep it that way.’ Those pleading eyes again. ‘The whole IVF thing had nearly broken us. It was such an awful, awful time and I didn’t want it all coming back up again.’

I nod an understanding that I think is part-genuine.

She goes on. ‘So I left the twins with Leo – I said I’d left my card in Waitrose and had to go back – and I drove us to King George’s Park. She was in a dreadful state, she looked awful.’

‘Awful, how?’

‘Not scruffy exactly, but worn out. Definitely not how I remembered her. Like she’d kind of given up on life, I suppose.’

‘So what did she want?’ I repeat.

She gives me a flat stare. ‘Money. She said she’d left her husband, that the IVF had finally broken them, and that she needed some time to figure out what she was doing but she couldn’t support herself. It was all a bit pathetic to be honest.’

Which fits, although there’s something I’m struggling to get my head around.

‘She needs money so she runs to someone she met for a few coffees, four years ago?’

Her eyes widen in agreement. ‘I know! It’s mad, isn’t it? But she said she remembered how kind I’d been to her back then, how supportive, and how I was probably the only person who’d understand because Nate and I had nearly reached a similar point. She said she didn’t have any close family or friends she could turn to.’

Which fits.

‘I just felt so sorry for her. And I felt guilty. It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t been through it but I felt so wretched that she’d seen me with the twins. I know how it feels to see other people have what you want so badly. And with me being ten years older, it must have seemed doubly unfair.’