Suspicious Minds (Stranger Things Novels #1)(65)

Andrew started to laugh and caught her. “Babe!” He held her and they rocked back and forth. “I guess I don’t have to worry that you’re not happy to see me.”

Go to Canada. Never leave. Stay here always, with me.

“I don’t want it going to your head so maybe I should play it cool,” she said without loosening her hold on him.

“Never play it cool.”

“I don’t think it’s even an option.” She pushed back so she could look at him. Really look.

Now he was the shyly self-conscious, anxious one. He stood under her gaze but so uncomfortably. His hair was clipped short, almost to the scalp. No more parentheses. But he was no less dangerous to her.

He owned her heart.

“I like it.” She reached out and ran her fingers across his scalp, the short hair soft against her palm. “Ooh, I really like it. This is very soothing and calming.”

“Stop it, I feel like a piece of meat,” Andrew said, but he smiled and relaxed.

“Speaking of…Do we have somewhere we can be alone?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Yes, Dave has given us run of the apartment. He’s coming back for a beer around five o’clock.”

Terry grabbed his hand and towed him behind her. “Let’s go then. We don’t have time to burn.”

“It feels like a shame to waste your favorite top,” he protested.

“It’s your favorite top,” Terry said and winked at him. “That’s why I wore it.”

“Oh, well, in that case.”

No mention yet of the fact he deployed next week. But there was no need. It hung between them, the unsaid fact about to ruin everything.



* * *



—

Andrew wrapped himself around Terry’s back and they snuggled and it was almost normal.

But the sheets on the bed weren’t Andrew’s soft cotton sheets. They were Dave’s, maroon satin, and even though she could smell that they’d been freshly washed and put on, they were wrong.

Andrew’s room belonged to Michael now. Michael had been with Dave and Andrew in Halloween masks to protest Nixon’s speech. Just like Dave, he would not be in Vietnam next week. Dave and Michael still had student deferments on their side, and, even after graduation, their draft numbers had been so late in the drawing that the chances of either of them getting called up were slim. Nothing was fair.

The sheets were different. The room was different. Everything was different except the two of them.

But even they didn’t feel quite the same. Already.

“Terry,” Andrew said, and she tensed. He called her “babe” almost always. “Terry” was for when he was talking about her to other people.

“Andrew.” She wasn’t going to make it easy. She rolled over to face him.

“You know I love you.”

“And you know I love you.” She memorized the fringe of his eyelashes. The different angles of his face with his short haircut. Not enough time. Not enough time…

“I want you to be you, without me like a shackle around your foot.” Andrew rushed the words out in a way that made her know he’d rehearsed them.

“Andrew Rich,” Terry said, pretending it didn’t hurt. She propped herself up on an elbow. “Don’t you dare tell me what to do.”

“I’m not,” Andrew said. “But…”

“But?” Terry stayed where she was. No way this would be easy for either of them.

“But I don’t know if I can do what I have to, not if I know you’re definitely here waiting for me. I won’t be able to think of anything but you.”

Terry didn’t even know what he meant. “Good. Good, you can think about coming home to me, about our future together.”

Andrew sighed and rolled onto his back. “I knew you’d be like this.”

“How did you want me to be?” Terry focused on the poster for The Who on Dave’s wall.

Andrew pulled the covers over his head. “I don’t know. Don’t listen to me. I’m trying to pretend I’m not freaking out, but I am.”

Now this was Terry’s Andrew. This she understood. Honesty.

“Sam, it’s okay,” she said, tugging the covers down. “You’re going to Mount Doom. No one knows what’s going to happen to you there.”

“I know that the Enemy isn’t there.” Andrew turned his head to look at her, though.

Terry nodded to him. “That’s right. We all know that. You’re a good man to go.”

“Am I?”

“You’re a good man.” She would not cry. She would be strong—stronger than she knew she could. Ken had predicted it. “I’m not letting you break up with me. This is…It’s my fault. Dr. Brenner arranged this somehow. I didn’t want to tell you but…”

“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. It’s my fault. I think he did this to you.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Andrew was quiet for a moment. He leaned forward and kissed her lips so softly she barely felt it. “It’s not your fault. If he did or didn’t, who can say? It might have happened anyway.”

She couldn’t manage to speak. She nodded.