Sure Shot (Brooklyn #4)(82)

“You look like a girl with a lot on her mind,” I say, taking off my tie next.

“That’s true,” she says quietly. “In a good way, though. Do you ever feel like things are sliding into place for you?”

“Sliding into place? The first thing that comes to mind is a dirty joke,” I admit.

She gives me a slow smile. “I love you. Do you know that?”

“Yes.” I pause in the middle of unbuttoning my shirt. “I do know that. And I’m really fucking happy to see you.”

“I’d hoped you would be.”

I chuck my shirt onto my open suitcase. “So come over here and kiss me.” I sit down on the bed and crook my finger.

Bess takes another sip of her margarita. Then she sets it down and walks over to stand in front of me. She puts both hands on my shoulders and leans down to softly kiss the corner of my eye. And then my cheekbone.

Goosebumps rise on my arms as she gently makes her way down to my lips. The kisses are the sweet kind you only get when someone loves you so much that they don’t even know where to start.

And I feel electric—not with lust, exactly. Not yet. But with something even better: certainty. This woman is mine, and I’m hers. We found each other twice, I guess. This time I’ve got more miles on me, but hopefully I’m also wiser.

When you’ve got something great, you can’t let it go. Bess and I are going to work out, or I’ll die trying.

Her kisses get deeper, and I wrap my arms around her soft, warm body and pull her down on the bed. I roll, until we’re side by side, our kisses becoming more urgent.

I suddenly remember that she’d said something about an epiphany, so I pull back and hug her. “Talk to me. What’s sliding into place for you? In a non-dirty way, I mean. ’Cause we’ll get to that a little later.”

She runs a hand through my hair. “Mark, last time I told you all my big plans, it didn’t go so well. But I think this time it could be different.”

“Don’t be afraid.” I hug her more tightly. “I’m not going to freak out again. Promise. Even if you say you want to try to get pregnant. I’ll man up and figure out how we can do that.”

“No,” she says quickly. “That’s not what I’m here to say.”

“But it’s day fourteen.”

She goes absolutely still in my arms. “You counted?”

“I can’t shut it off, honey. I mean—I’ll try. But it will always be in the back of my mind. That little what if.”

“I thought about it, too. I’m not going to lie. But then I realized I didn’t want to do that to us. We’re more than that. I love us too much to be all about the babymaking.”

My heart is in jeopardy of exploding. I roll on top of her and give her another kiss. “We can still have all the sex, though, right?”

“All of it,” she whispers. “I bought condoms.”

“What?”

“Condoms. For later. So we wouldn’t even have to think those thoughts.”

I laugh suddenly. “Okay. I’m down with it.”

She strokes my cheekbone, looking up at me. “Now I need to ask you something. I had a conversation tonight that completely rearranged my thinking on the subject of kids. Mark, would you ever consider adoption?”

“Sure,” I say easily. “With you? Anything. That’s your epiphany?”

“Yes.” She rolls out from under me and sits up. “And not as a backup plan. At first I really wanted my own baby. Because my childhood was so…” She frowns.

“Harrowing?” I supply. “Horrific? You don’t tell me much, Bess. But I know you went through a lot.”

She flinches. “I hate talking about it.”

“You can if you ever want to.” I kiss her palm. “I’ll always listen.”

She weaves her fingers through mine. “See, I thought I needed to have my own baby as a way of fixing my childhood. As if all the things I did for my own child would make my parents’ neglect less real. God this sounds stupid when I say it out loud.”

“No, honey.” I pull her into a hug. “It doesn’t sound stupid at all. Besides, I don’t think anyone can give an articulate answer to why they want kids. They just do. You don’t even need a reason.”

“Here’s the thing,” she says to my bare chest. “Being an unwanted child shaped my whole life. But now I have the chance to turn some small person into a wanted child. It would mean a lot to me to adopt. I think I could be a great mother to someone who had a rough start.”

“I think that’s beautiful.” I rock her gently, hoping she never wants me to let go. “I don’t know anything about how adoption works. I think it takes a really long time, honestly. But if you’re game, then I’m game. I’d be honored to take that journey with you.”

Bess presses her fingertips against the corners of her wet eyes. “Thank you.”

“I’m here for that.” I kiss the top of her head. “Tell me what you’ve learned. Let’s see that crazy notebook of yours. We’ll eat room service and google the fuck out of adoption.”

Bess’s smile is a little watery. “It’s a plan.”

There’s a knock at the door. I set Bess on her feet beside the bed. Then I get up to answer it, looking a little ridiculous in my trousers and nothing else.