Supermarket(54)

“That’s not the right—” said Olivia, then stopped herself as she saw me approaching the older woman. “Why are you touching that patient, Flynn?”

“Because she was just standing there. She wasn’t moving or anything.”

“So why were you standing there if no one was around to assist?” she asked, a confused expression on her face.

“Because I was waiting for the woman behind the counter.”

“Uh,” grunted Henry, “what woman behind the counter?”

“Look, man, just play the footage, will you?” Olivia barked at him as I threw my hands up in frustration.

That’s when Frank popped into the picture on the monitor.

“See, there he is!” I said excitedly. Olivia stared at the screen. “He and I were having a conversation about how he wasn’t real.”

“I agree,” she said.

“No, see . . . that’s what I was telling him! That it was bullshit and I was over it. I asked him to tell me his last name and—look, right there!”

On the monitor, Frank stared down at the floor, up at me . . . and paused.

“Did you see that? Just like I told you! Same thing he did when I confronted him in the supermarket.”

“Flynn, there’s no—”

I quickly pointed at the screen.

“Wait, wait, watch, here it comes . . . BAM!” I said.

“Oh, shit!” yelled Henry.

“You see, I told you,” I said, looking at Olivia.

“Flynn, there’s no one in this video.”

“What?” I said.

“Flynn,” she said. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I’m not okay, but not—”

“Yeah,” Henry inserted, motioning to the screen. “I mean, this guy is slapping the shit out of himself—”

“Flynn,” said Olivia, ignoring the security guard. “I believe you are reverting.” She turned back to Henry and ordered him to replay the video.

“No, you don’t understand . . . Frank slapped me.”

“What do you see when you look at this video, Flynn?” Olivia asked.

“I see Frank and me arguing.”

Olivia’s eyes widened, the look of concern growing on her face. “Frank isn’t in the video, Flynn. Frank doesn’t exist!”

“No, I know he doesn’t exist, but . . . he is real, Olivia! He’s real because I’ve made him real! Red said that I had to fight him, and the only way I could fight him was to believe in him. Because if I made him real, then . . . he could actually be killed!”

Olivia stepped back. “Flynn? There is no one in this video.”

I tried to process what she was saying.

“You’re reverting,” Olivia continued. “You’re giving Frank power again, and he is pulling you back into the delusion!”

I refused to believe this. I mean, she couldn’t possibly understand. I knew in my heart she was trying to help me, but she wasn’t going through it. She hadn’t experienced it like me. Red had.

Red, I thought to myself. I’ve got to tell him about this.

Deep down, I felt so conflicted. Dr. Cross was trying to help me erase Frank from my mind; Red was urging me to make him a real man who could be killed.

I needed to speak with Red. I turned around, heading toward the garden where I had last seen him.

“Flynn, wait!” Olivia called after me, but I ignored her.

Only Red could help me with this, and I knew it.

In the garden, I sat with Red at a table and told him everything. He explained to me that Frank showing up wasn’t a good sign. That Frank was going to do everything he could to bring me back into the delusion, back into the supermarket loop. However, Red told me, the fact Frank was growing more and more real in my mind was actually good.

I remembered the story Red told me about himself. If Frank were real, he could be killed. I said this to myself as a reminder. Reminding myself not to forget that epiphany . . . that moment in the garden the day before, when Red showed me the power of the mind over his chessboard.

“Dr. Cross is a good woman who means well,” he said. “But in the end, she’s the doctor and we’re the patients. We are the ones who must suffer. And as someone who has made it out of the delusion, you must heed my advice. Because it is the only way to beat this thing, Flynn.”

As I thought about what Red was saying, Olivia walked into the garden and stood in front of our table.

“Hello there,” she said.

“Olivia, I—”

“Listen, can I borrow you for a moment?” she asked, placing her hand on my arm for comfort. It worked.

“Okay,” I said, standing up. “I’m coming back after,” I told Red, then pushed my chair into the table before following Olivia.

We walked slowly, quiet for a moment. “I don’t believe you are thinking clearly, Flynn,” she finally said.

“Listen, you don’t know what this is like.” I kicked a pebble in front of me. “This has been hell. I’m fucking living in a psych ward. I’ve got some alter ego trying to ruin my life. Half the time I can’t tell what’s real and what’s fake. I’m present for no more than a couple of weeks at a time, then I’m back in the mind trap. I know I’ve been working hard in therapy and all, but damn. When will it end? Is this thing going to go on forever? Am I going to wind up on the streets, stark raving mad like my dad? I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got to beat this thing. The suffering is cruel. I know you’re only trying to help, but you’re not the one living it, you can’t feel what I’m feeling in here.”