Stealing Cinderella(86)
She is ready to go before her mind is gone completely, and she can no longer talk or function. When I learned that everyone else had already agreed, the burden fell on me to give her my approval too.
“I’m going to need you.” I bow my head to Ella’s and breathe her in. “More than I ever have.”
“I’ll be right here,” she whispers.
I bury my face in her neck and hold her, silence enveloping us as I gather the courage to say goodbye. After a few minutes, she untangles us, caressing my face beneath her palm.
“I love you, Thorsen. We’ll get through this together.”
It’s difficult to speak over the overwhelming thoughts in my head. But as long as Ella is by my side, she can keep me calm. She helps me dress for the day, picking out her favorite light blue dress shirt from my closet and a pair of navy trousers.
“We don’t wear black today,” she tells me as she buttons the shirt for me. “We don’t wear black because she’ll always be right here.”
When she presses her palm against my chest, I nod, enclosing my hand over hers.
Ella dresses herself, and then walks beside me in silence, her hand holding mine as we near my mother’s suite. When we step inside, Calder and Runa have already gathered there. It feels like I’m walking to my doom, what I imagine the forest would have been like if I’d ever actually gone.
“There they are.” My mother smiles warmly, gesturing for us as we close the door.
She seems so small today, and it’s difficult to see her like this. So pale, so thin, so weak. I know we are making the right choice for her, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
“Come sit beside me, my loves.”
Ella and I take a seat beside Calder and Runa, and the room falls silent, melancholy energy stagnating the air around us.
“Are you still sure about this?” Calder asks.
“Yes, my son.” She nods in a way that proves she’s still in there, despite her failing body. More determined than ever, she’s a shining light in this world who deserves to go in peace.
“I have already spoken with Calder and Runa,” she tells us. “But I have a few things I would like to say to both of you. Come to me, please.”
Ella and I join her at the bed, each of us taking a side and uniting our hands with hers. She speaks to Ella first, her face full of warmth and love for the woman who has brought me back from the darkness.
“Thank you.” Her voice betrays her emotion. “Ella, you are my daughter now, and that doesn’t change just because I’m gone. Call on me whenever you need a friend to talk to, and remember everything I taught you. I want you to have my books, my elixirs, and my jewelry. They belong to you now.”
“Thank you.” Ella’s lip trembles, and she nods. “Thank you for accepting me into your family and for loving me. I can’t tell you what it’s meant to me.”
“That love will never end,” mother says. “Please look after my son. Love him as fiercely as I know only you can.”
“I will,” Ella promises. “I will take care of him always.”
My mother nods, and Ella hugs her before taking her leave to sit and wait for me.
“Thorsen.” Mother looks up at me, tears gleaming in her eyes. “My dearest Thorsen, how I admire and love you. The depths of which you will someday understand when you are raising your own son.”
“I love you too.” My voice fractures.
“Remember what I said. I’ll never be far away. Speak to me often, tell me how you are, and never stop fighting for the beauty in life. You will find it, even in the darkness, if you choose to look.”
“I’ll make you proud,” I assure her.
A tear splashes onto her cheek. “You already do.”
I hug her, and she whispers into my ear that it’s going to be okay. That I shouldn’t mourn for her because she’ll always be right here in the leaves and the wind and the blossoming flowers. I don’t want to let her go, but she tells me it’s time, and I hold on a little longer until I can’t hold onto her anymore. She summons the others back to the bed, and we all gather around her.
“Let us say a prayer to Hekate.” She closes her eyes, and we follow suit, repeating her words as she recites a prayer for a safe rite of passage after death.
When we open our eyes again, she has the elixir in her hand, harnessing the last of her energy to bring it to her lips.
“I’m going to sleep now,” she says. “It’s been a long journey, and I’m very tired. Remove this bottle when I’m gone, and never speak of this moment again. Remember me in the garden, or my herbal room, or spending time with my boys. Remember me only in good ways, and be happy, not sad, when you think of me.”
We all promise her that we will, and she drinks the elixir before handing the bottle off to Calder. She smiles, closes her eyes, and goes to sleep.
Just like she said.
Epilogue
Ella
“Hello, my King.”
“Good evening, gudinne.” Thorsen kisses me on the top of my head as I roll into him. I bury my face into his neck, inhaling the sun and the salt of the sea.
“Nice of you to join me again,” he says.
“You wore me out.” I yawn as my fingers trail over his beautiful body. “Was I out long?”