Stealing Cinderella(55)
He walks around the table, opting to take a seat at the far end, away from me. “I should have known.”
“I should have told you when you didn’t recognize me,” I say. “Or asked Thorsen what he wanted that night. I just assumed…”
“You assumed his brother was giving you reliable information.” Calder shakes his head. “I swear, I never would have done anything if I’d known he felt that way. He’s never wanted anyone for himself. It just… it caught me off guard. I thought I was helping him with you.”
“I think he has it pretty well handled.”
“I get that now,” he says. “But he still hasn’t spoken to me. I’ve been calling and texting. We’ve never gone this long without talking.”
“I’m so sorry.” I focus on my plate, hating that the entire situation went down the way it did. “I never wanted to hurt him either.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time he’s heard that,” Calder remarks.
“If you want to accuse me of something, go ahead and say it,” I challenge him. “So far, I’ve done nothing to hurt him. My phone is right here, and you don’t see any media reports on him yet, do you?”
He studies me, trying to determine if I’m trustworthy, and then sighs. “Trust me when I say I’m not trying to be an asshole, but you have to understand how many people have taken advantage of him before. A lot of people seem trustworthy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.”
“I get it.” My tone softens. “I’ve seen the papers. And I know Thorsen isn’t the man they portray him to be.”
“You’re probably the first woman to say that who actually means it.” Calder smiles. “I can see why he likes you.”
“I do mean it. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t. But I also know that Thorsen is damaged. And sometimes, I don’t think he’ll ever see his way out of that despair.”
Calder stares down at his folded hands. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s public knowledge anyway. He had a girlfriend once, six years ago. She was his first.”
Jealousy sprouts up inside me, and I find myself leaning forward, desperate to hear every word about this woman. “What happened?”
“She was playing him,” he answers. “It was the first woman he trusted after… well, after some really horrible things happened. I didn’t think he’d ever trust anybody. But he met Anja, and he thought she was someone who might be different.”
“And then she betrayed him?” I whisper.
“She was feeding information to the media and raking in paychecks.” The pain in his voice is visceral, and I can tell it wasn’t just Thorsen who got hurt by this situation. Calder cares so deeply about his brother that he feels his hurt too.
“That’s awful.” I blink back tears. “I had no idea.”
“It wrecked him,” Calder says. “He wouldn’t want you to know that, but I think it’s important you do. When he tries to push you away, it’s because he’s scared. But the fact that he brought you here means something. He sees something in you, and I want you to swear to me you’ll never hurt him like that, Ella.”
“I won’t,” I swear, abandoning the defensiveness I felt just a few moments before. “I know it probably sounds crazy, but… I care about him.”
“It isn’t crazy.” He shrugs. “Thorsen is easy to love. He just hates himself.”
I’m tempted to ask him about the bottle of poison, but I don’t want to worry him unnecessarily. Not yet, at least.
“Our mother is dying,” Calder tells me quietly. “He probably hasn’t mentioned that either.”
“No.” My throat pinches. “He hasn’t.”
“Brain cancer,” he says. “It’s a tumor. The doctors say it won’t be long until she’s gone.”
“I’m so sorry.” The words heave from my lungs.
“Thorsen is close to her, and I’m worried about him. He’s going to need you, Ella. You can help him through it. I believe that’s why he brought you here. He knows what’s coming, and he needs someone to get him through it.”
“Of course, I will.” I nod. “I’ll be there for him, no matter what.”
“He’s going to push you away. He’ll push all of us away. But maybe you can get through to him.”
“I won’t let him do that,” I insist. “I won’t let that happen.”
It’s an admirable notion, but from the anguish on Calder’s face, I can tell it’s not going to be that easy. He’s been down this road with Thorsen before. Something horrible happened in his past, and he’s still fighting those demons every day.
“Has he ever… tried to hurt himself?”
Calder snaps his attention back to me, and I know before he even says anything that I’m right. “Why would you ask me that?”
“I just—”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Thorsen’s voice catches us both off guard, and we turn toward him with matching expressions of guilt. I’m horrified when I see the same sense of betrayal and hurt burning in his eyes.