Starship Fall (Starship Seasons, #2)(29)

I shook my head. “What happened?”

“Grainger’d been here before, on a pre-exploratory trip. He said there were natives. He was going to contact them, get medical help. He set off. It was a hell of a hike… a few hundred kays to the nearest settlement.” He shrugged and fell silent, his eyes distant as he looked into the past.

“Well,” he went on, “when he didn’t come back, I assumed he hadn’t made it. I patched myself up as well as I was able, and if I’d been a believer I would have prayed.”

“How did you make it back?” I asked. “I thought you said the ship wouldn’t fly?”

“It wouldn’t. I was rescued. A Heatherington exploration vessel was making a fly-by and picked up the ship’s radiation signature. They came down to have a closer look, and the rest’s history. I told them about Grainger, and they searched but found nothing. I just assumed at the time that the poor bastard had died.”

I took a swallow of beer. “Was it a coincidence that you made Chalcedony your home, Hawk?”

He shook his head, smiled. “When I couldn’t get work as a pilot any more, I came here, set up the junkyard, and in my spare time searched the central massifs for any sign of Grainger. I wanted to ensure that he hadn’t survived, that he hadn’t just walked out on me and left me for dead.”

“And then, just last week, you found out.”

He nodded, bitterly. “That first time in the cavern, after Kee survived... something about the elder... I wondered, but told myself not to be so ridiculous. Anyway, when I overheard Kee on the com to you, I forced her to tell me what the hell was going on. I asked myself why Carlotta might want to go to the cavern. It was just too much of a coincidence, given that Carlotta and Grainger had been lovers.” He stopped, then said, “I didn’t believe Kee’s vision, but I just knew it had to be Grainger.” He shrugged. “You know the rest, David.”

I stared at the floating spheres and drank my beer.

“Did you find out what the Ashentay did with Grainger?”

He nodded. “They’re a peaceable people, David. They’re tolerant. Kee told me that they exiled him, and deprived him of the bone drug. I... I don’t know where he is. Matt made enquiries. I think he knows.”

“Will you–?” I began.

Hawk smiled. “I’m not going to ask him, David. I don’t want to know where the bastard is. That period of my life is over. It’s enough to know that Grainger left me for dead... I don’t believe in an eye for an eye. And anyway, his doing without the drug will be punishment enough.”

We sat in silence for a while, as the sun sank towards the sea and the shadows lengthened. At last Hawk said, softly, “I’m sorry about Carlotta, David.”

I nodded, took another swallow of beer, and said nothing.

After all, what was there to say; what could I say to explain, or excuse, her actions? I could not work out her motivations, her rationale. Had she still been in love with Ed Grainger, and used me to get to him, guided by drug-induced visions of the future? Or had she merely been a slave to the drug, and craved knowledge of her destiny, whether or not she might ever return to her exalted status as a holo superstar?

I prefer to think that what she told me, on the plain before the caverns, was the truth: “I looked into the future, and I saw us together, but what I felt when I met you… what I feel for you now... that can’t be denied, David.”

But all I do know, for certain, is that I miss Carlotta Chakravorti-Luna like hell.

Maddie emerged from the crowd and headed our way. “David,” she said, her expression compassionate as she looked down at me. She reached out, and I took her hand.

She pulled me upright. “Come,” she ordered. She linked an arm through mine and squeezed.

Kee joined us, taking Hawk’s hand as we walked toward the nearest floating sphere. I felt his arm about my shoulders.

They steered me towards the sphere, and then Matt himself, the creator, smiling as he joined us, took Maddie’s hand.

“What’s it called, Matt?” I asked, pointing towards the sphere.

He said, “I call it, The Love of Friends, David.”

All around, the assembly had paused to watch us, and I felt a sudden tightness in my chest, the result of some unnameable emotion, part grief, part loneliness, part love.

Together we approached the light.