Spin the Dawn(44)

Lady Sarnai’s jaw locked, and she glared at me.

Meanwhile, Norbu made no move to leave. “Master Tamarin?” he asked calmly. “Don’t you mean Mistress Tamarin?” He was fast for such a large man, and I moved too late. He ripped at the buttons on my tunic, exposing the straps over my chest.

Lady Sarnai gasped, and the maids covered their mouths with their hands.

A cold tide of alarm seized me. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. I stood immobile—in shock, as the world spun.

“She’s a girl, Your Highness,” Norbu said. “She lied to you all.”

“No—” I started.

Lady Sarnai raised a hand, silencing everyone. “Lord Enchanter,” she said, beckoning Edan to her. “Is this true?”

I wasn’t sure whether it was an accusation that he’d known, or whether Lady Sarnai simply wanted him to inspect me. Edan looked at me unflinchingly.

“Yes,” he said. “It’s true.”

My chest squeezed tight. I met Lady Sarnai’s eyes, waiting for the chilly dismissal I’d come to expect from the shansen’s daughter. But for once, her brows unfurrowed, and her lips eased out of their usual frown. Time stretched. There was something in her stare I’d never seen before: compassion.

I dared hope that she might take pity on me. After all, I was a girl—like her. One who’d risked everything to break free of the roles this world expected of her. She would understand better than anyone.

Then Lady Sarnai fluttered a hand, and my heart sank. “Take her away.”

“Please, Your Highness!” I shouted. “Please—don’t.”

Her bodyguards grabbed me, and I turned to Edan. But he spoke not a word in my defense. Nothing, as Norbu smirked and the servants watched with widened eyes.

“What will her punishment be?” Edan simply asked Lady Sarnai.

The shansen’s daughter paused, considering. “Forty lashes to her back—wake her if she faints and restart the count. I’ll ask His Majesty to have her hanged in the morning.”

I let out a strangled cry.

Edan bowed to Lady Sarnai. It was curt, but obedient. “As you wish.”





CHAPTER SIXTEEN


There were forty-nine steps down into the palace dungeon. I don’t know why I counted. Perhaps to calm myself. A hopeless goal.

My heart hammered so fast that I was out of breath and panting by the time the guards dragged me down the last step. The smell of rot made my insides curdle, and I could hear cockroaches and rats skittering on the cold stones.

A thread of fear bristled up my neck. I won’t be afraid, I told myself. I won’t be afraid.

My eyes strained to adjust to the darkness, and I barely saw the guards rounding on me. They struck me in the ribs and kicked me to my knees so that I landed in a rotten pile of hay, coughing and whimpering.

One guard grabbed me by my hair and chained my ankle to the wall. “We used these shackles last for a maid who stole from His Majesty. He ordered her hands chopped off. Wonder what he’ll do to you.”

I coughed until I could breathe again. I couldn’t imagine Emperor Khanujin ordering such a brutal punishment. But what did I really know of him?

What did I know of anyone?

Edan hadn’t spoken out to help me.

That hurt more than any whipping. But he had warned me not to think of him as a friend, hadn’t he? I should have listened.

No matter what happens, I won’t scream. I won’t let them break me.

Easier thought than done.

The guards tore away my tunic and ripped off my chest strips—so fast I’d barely crossed my arms to cover myself when the whip burned into my skin, a stinging line of fire. Blood splattered onto the cold stone floor. I tried not to look at it, tried to focus on keeping my arms over my chest, and on the unthinkable count to forty. It helped that cold tears spilled down my face, blurring my sight.

The guards picked up their rhythm. Faster. Harder. Each lash bit into me, gashing my back, and I chewed on my lip so hard my mouth grew hot with blood. On the seventh lash, I screamed. The world went black, then exploded into color, over and over with each lash, and at some point, I stopped remembering to breathe between each scream.

“That’s enough!” a voice thundered.

I barely recognized who it was. My back was on fire. I collapsed.

My shackles clattered away and Edan draped his cloak over me. He was carrying me somewhere. Torches burned from the walls, the light hurting my eyes. But the air was still dank and still cold.

Then a metal door shuddered open, and five steps in, Edan stopped. Gently, he sat down, cradling me on his lap.

“Go away,” I said, but my words came out garbled. Even I couldn’t understand them.

“Open up.” He held my chin up as he dribbled something in my mouth. “Come, Maia. Swallow. You need to drink this.”

The taste was so bitter I nearly spat it out. Edan hadn’t bothered sweetening whatever concoction it was that he’d brought this time.

But the pain did dull. Slowly.

With a great exhale, I shifted away from him, but his hold on me was firm. He touched my bare back with his fingers.

“I should have gotten here earlier,” he said, his jaw clenched.

I clutched his cloak, pulling the folds over my chest. “Am I to be hanged?”