Spells for Forgetting(76)

“Why did you tell me if you thought he might be involved?” I asked, studying her. That wasn’t like Emery. The Blackwoods had always been tightly knit and loyal. I’d been cut out of that equation a long time ago. It had cost her something to give me the deed to the orchard. She didn’t owe it to me, but she’d done it.

“I’m just so tired of all the lying,” she said.

The pop of wood out on the porch made us both look to the front door. Emery’s eyes slid to me before she got up, making her way to the window. Her hand fisted into the curtain when her gaze landed on something.

“What?” I said, following her.

I came to stand behind her, looking over her head. Outside, a white envelope sat on the mat. I reached around Emery, opening the door and stepping over it to come down the steps. In every direction, the woods were quiet except for the starlings that never seemed to leave the trees. There was no one.

When I turned back around, Emery was standing in the doorway, holding the envelope in her hands. She looked up at me, her brow pulled, before she turned it over and opened it.

I watched her eyes flit over the paper as she unfolded it, and the sound of her breath broke the silence. “Shit.” She pinched her eyes closed.

“What is it?” I came up the steps, taking it from her and going back inside.

The paper was a crude xerox copy made of a letter, and as soon as I saw the handwriting, my stomach dropped. It was my mother’s.

    Hannah,

I’ve been thinking that I needed to write this particular letter for some time but I haven’t been sure how to do it.

All I can think is that I wish that night hadn’t happened.

I know what August did is unforgivable.



I swallowed, trying to steady the shake in my hand.

    I’ve thought so many times about how you think you know your child, and then they do something that terrifies you. Something that opens a darkness.



“What the fuck is this?” I breathed.

I stilled when I reached the bottom of the page, where someone had written in all caps.

LEAVE OR I CALL THE SEATTLE POLICE TOMORROW ABOUT THIS LETTER AND WHAT HAPPENED AT THE ORCHARD WITH LILY.



Emery had one hand pressed to her mouth, staring at me. “It’s a letter your mom wrote to my mom.”

“You’ve seen this before?”

“I found it in the attic last week after you got here. A whole box of letters between them.”

My hand went limp at my side. The single sheet of paper felt like it weighed a hundred pounds.

“Someone took it from my house that night the truck was set on fire.”

I tossed the envelope onto the counter, pacing the kitchen.

Emery watched me from the living room. “What does that mean? What happened at the orchard with Lily?”

I stared at the message written on the bottom of the paper, biting down on my bottom lip. This was one part of the story I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to tell her. “That day, after graduation, Lily came to find me at the orchard. After you saw her at the pub,” I said. “She was upset and crying.”

“Because of our fight?”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I mean, no. She was upset that we were leaving Saoirse and she was asking me not to.”

“Not to what? Leave?”

I stared at her, wondering how much I should say. There didn’t seem to be a point in lying, but there wasn’t much of a point in Emery knowing every detail, either.

“Tell me,” she said, reading my thoughts.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “I was working out in the orchard and when I came back to the barn loft, she was there.”

“And? What happened?”

“She was really angry we were leaving and she begged me not to go. She was acting crazy, crying and screaming. I thought we were alone in the barn.”

What I wouldn’t tell her was that Lily had tried to kiss me. That she’d pulled down the straps of her dress and pressed herself against me with tears streaming down her face, reaching for the button of my pants. I’d never seen her act that way. Even thinking about it now made my stomach turn.

“What did you say?” Emery asked.

“I didn’t know what to say. It was out of nowhere. I thought maybe she was on something.” I shook my head. “I told her that she had to leave and when she wouldn’t, I did. I didn’t come back until an hour later and she was gone.”

“So, Dutch was telling the truth.” She laughed bitterly. “Lily was in love with you.”

I’d suspected it more than once, but I’d never told Emery because they were friends. I knew it would hurt her. “Someone must have seen or overheard us. I don’t know.”

“Well, whoever it is, they’re saying they’ll use it to pull you back into this.” Emery’s eyes landed on the letter. The shadows on her face seemed to be getting darker by the minute.

“Who do you think took it? Dutch?”

Emery shook her head. “I thought maybe he did, but I don’t think so.”

“Then who?”

“I don’t know. You aren’t the only one with secrets from that night. I’m starting to think everyone has them. But I don’t think this is about Lily. I think it’s about the orchard. The will.” She paused. “August, the police didn’t have enough to charge you the first time, but they might if they had this. It would at least be enough for them to start looking into Lily’s death again.”