Sometimes I Lie(81)
I dress myself quickly, rushing a brush through my tangled hair and slapping some aftersun on my face and shoulders. Paul is already sitting on the decking just outside the room, facing out to a turquoise sea. He’s brought the children a little nearer to us so that they are sitting on a blanket in the shade and I love him for loving them the way I hoped he would.
‘Here you are, thought you might have drowned,’ he says as I step outside to join them. ‘Drink, madam?’ he then asks, taking a bottle of champagne from a silver bucket on a tray on the table.
‘Lovely, yes, please.’ I sit down next to him, feeling the heat from the wooden chair through my skirt. Katie turns as she hears me and smiles.
‘Mummy,’ she says, then carries on playing. She’s never called me that before and it makes me feel so happy. I was their godmother, after all; is it so wrong to want to be more than that? Paul uses the nail on his thumb to cut into the gold foil around the neck of the bottle. He tears it off before his fingers twist the metal holding the cork in place, then he removes it expertly. No pop, no fuss, no mess. He fills our glasses and I realise I am happy. Things are so much better between us now. Back to how they used to be. This is all I ever wanted. I am in paradise with my family and this is what happiness feels like. I’m not sure I have ever truly known it before.
He puts the bottle back on the round tray and I spot something next to it that catches the light.
‘What’s that?’ I say, looking down at the slither of gold on silver.
‘What’s what?’ he asks, following my gaze. I smile, thinking this is another surprise, a gift, a game.
It isn’t.
For a moment the words won’t form.
‘Did you see who delivered this to our room?’
‘I was still on Skype, they just came in and left it on the side. Why? What’s wrong?’
I don’t answer. I’m transfixed by the thin bracelet on the tray, small enough for a child’s wrist. It’s held together with an old, slightly rusty safety pin and my date of birth is engraved on the gold.
My name is Amber Taylor Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me:
1. I was in a coma.
2. My sister died in a tragic accident.
3. Sometimes I lie.
Acknowledgements
There are many people I would like to thank for bringing this book to life.
Firstly, I would like to thank my amazing agent, Jonny Geller, for taking a chance on me. I would also like to thank Catherine Cho, Kate Cooper and all the lovely people at Curtis Brown. Kari Stuart at ICM is a legend and I am forever thankful to her too.
I feel incredibly lucky that Sometimes I Lie found a home at HQ/HarperCollins in the UK and Flatiron/Macmillan in the US. I have two wonderful editors who I will always be indebted to: Sally Williamson in the UK, who believed in this book so passionately and has the most wonderful laugh; and Amy Einhorn in the US, who is a whirlwind and a magician of words.
Next, I’d like to say a word or two about the best teacher I ever had: Richard Skinner. He taught me too many things to list here, but above all, he taught me to believe in myself enough to keep going. I am forever in your debt.
I would also like to thank all the Spring 2016 Faber Academy graduates – you have all been a part of my writing journey, and I’ve made some friends for life. Thanks in particular to Kelly Allen, Dan Dalton, Giles Fraser, Alison Marlow, Trisha Sakhlecha and Helen Trevorrow for being my first readers and giving such brilliant feedback.
Thank you to the staff at Milton Keynes University Hospital for allowing me into your world and answering my many, many questions, especially Maureen Peskett, Josie Warner and Amanda Wilson. And thank you to Wayne Moulds for your advice and help with research.
Thank you to my parents for encouraging me to read and love books from a young age – you cannot be a writer if you are not a reader. Heartfelt thanks to the rest of my family and friends for your ongoing love and support. Special thanks to Charlotte Essex, my oldest writing friend, for pushing my bottom up a cliff in Bolivia many years ago and continuing to push me to do things I’m afraid of ever since. Thanks to Jasmine Williams for believing in me and to my dear friends Anna MacDonald and Alex Vanotti for making me laugh, keeping me calm and always being there when I need you.
Lastly, I’d like to thank my husband, Daniel, a fellow writer who knows just how long this journey has been. There is nobody I would rather have made it with. My first reader, my best friend, my everything, I wouldn’t be here without you. Thanks for putting up with me and for loving me back.