Sometimes I Lie(47)

We sat on the sofa and Taylor’s mum told us to put the TV on and to stay downstairs. I turned it on, but neither of us really watched it, the sound was too low to block out the noise coming from above. Taylor’s mum took my mum into the bathroom to clean her up. Mum cried very loudly and then she started shouting all kinds of things.

The three things she shouted that I remember the most are:



1. Fuck you. (She said that a lot.)

2. Get out of my house you bitch. (It’s not her house, it’s Nana’s.)

3. I don’t need your bloody help.



The third one was the silliest of all because clearly she did need help from someone.

I’ve never heard Mum speak to anyone except Dad like that before. She also called Taylor’s mum a snob. A snob is someone who thinks they’re better than you. I don’t think Taylor’s mum thinks that, even though she is a much better person than my mum, she’s the best mum ever. It was a horrid afternoon, but a little secret part of me was pleased because it meant we’d all forgotten about me being suspended.

Taylor and her mum didn’t leave until Dad got home. He said ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’ a lot, like he didn’t know any other words to say. Then when they left he asked if I wanted chicken nuggets for dinner. We ate sitting on the sofa in front of the big TV, which was still on but still not being watched. Dad forgot the ketchup but I didn’t say anything. He didn’t make Mum any dinner and I think I know why. While we sat there not watching TV and eating our chicken nuggets without ketchup, I realised for the first time that Dad probably wishes Mum was dead just as much as I do.





Now

Friday, 30th December 2016


‘How are we doing, Amber? Still got some fight in you I see. I like that.’

My hospital room seems a shade darker than before. I want to scream as Edward touches my face. I want to disappear so that he can’t see me or ever find me again.

‘And breathing on your own now, that’s such good news, well done you.’

His fingers slide over to my right eye and he opens it. I can just make out the fuzzy outline of a person looming over me before he shines a bright light into my eye, leaving me completely blind. All I see now is white with a shower of moving dots. He does the same with my left eye and then my world returns to black.

‘I think you’re progressing a bit too quickly. Maybe we just need to slow things down a little.’

I can hear him doing something but I don’t know what. Just when I run out of hope and accept my fate, I hear the door open.

‘How’s she doing?’ asks Paul. I don’t understand why he is so calm about finding this man in my room, but then I remember that all he sees is a medical professional.

‘I’m afraid I’m not really the best person to ask,’ says Edward.

‘I’m sorry, I’ve met so many people . . . haven’t we spoken before?’

‘I don’t think so. I’m just the night porter . . .’

The porter? I don’t understand.

‘ . . . and this is the start of the night shift, so you really shouldn’t still be here now.’

‘Should you?’ asks Paul.

It’s silent for a moment and I’m scared of what will happen next.

‘I’ve just brought your wife back from a scan. Just doing my job.’

You didn’t tell him you were my husband. Think, Paul, think.

‘I’m sorry, that was rude of me. I’m very tired, I apologise. You must see all sorts, working nights in this place,’ says Paul.

‘You’d be amazed the things that go on here after dark,’ Edward replies. ‘I don’t mind if you want to stay a little longer, say your goodbyes, but you’ll need to leave soon. Hospital rules, hope you understand. Don’t worry though, we’ll take good care of her while you’re gone.’

Edward leaves and Paul and I are alone. He drags a chair closer to my bed and sits down. I have to find a way to tell him that the man he just spoke to is keeping me here. I don’t understand why Edward said he was the night porter or why Paul believed him. Claire comes into the room and for once I’m glad. She’s smart, she’ll figure this out.

‘Who was that?’

‘Just some porter guy, he said we need to leave.’

‘He’s probably right, it’s late’ she says, sitting down next to Paul, no longer on opposite sides.

‘She moved her finger, you saw it too, she was pointing at something, I know it,’ he says.

I remember now. I pointed at the EXIT sign. I thought it was a dream but they saw me!

‘I saw her finger move yes, but you heard what the doctor said earlier. There are coma patients who move their hands, open their eyes, even speak, but they’re still in a coma. Her moving is just like someone twitching in their sleep when they’re having a bad dream.’

This is more than just a bad dream.

‘I think we need to stay positive, see what they say when the rest of the results come back—’

‘I think we need to be realistic,’ interrupts Claire.

Nobody says anything for a while.

‘For what it’s worth, I don’t believe them either,’ she says eventually.

‘You think the doctors are lying to us?’