Something in the Water(60)

Then it hits me. We won’t find anything here. Holli was only eighteen when she lived in this room. These are the relics of who she was. She’s twenty-three now. Growing up changes you. Five years in prison changes you. Who knows what happened to her in that time?

I mean, look at me, my whole life has changed in nine days. I’ve become a liar and a thief. God knows where or who I’ll be in five years. Hopefully not in prison.

The doorbell chimes and our eyes flick to Michelle. She nods and trots off to let Andy in.

Phil lowers the camera.

“Do you see anything?” he whispers. There’s a new urgency in his eyes now too. To him this documentary just became very interesting. He can already sniff awards in the future.

“No. I don’t think there’s anything here, Phil. She’d only been back a week before she left. We need to look elsewhere: Facebook, Twitter, all that. But Holli’s not an idiot—not anymore anyway. If there is something here, it won’t be easy to find it.” I scan the room again but I know I’m right on this one; there are no clues here.

As we enter the hallway a stocky man and Michelle are talking quietly by the front door. Andy. He’s shorter than I’d imagined, but attractive. There’s an easy charm about him as he turns to greet us, the flash of a winning smile; perhaps that’s why he got the job. A people person. Michelle’s right, he does inspire trust. I’d say he’s early fifties. Good head of hair. An almost illusory whiff of expensive soap. I’m going to have to be extremely careful now. He’s clearly very good at what he does; he’s playing Michelle like an old pro. I’d hazard a guess that Andy is one of life’s winners. I think perhaps everything comes up roses for Andy. Well, let’s go, Andy. Let’s do this, because I am not going to prison. I will not lose this fight. I run my hand subtly inside my coat and push gently against my belly. It’s okay in there. Mummy’s got you.

I fix my game face as he steps toward us, smiling.

“Erin, Phil, I’m Detective Chief Inspector Foster. Call me Andy. Nice to meet you both; thanks for sticking around.” He shakes our hands firmly. We make our way into Michelle’s living room, leaving the camera in the hall. Phil’s not filming anymore.

Phil, Michelle, and I take the sofa while DCI Andy perches facing us on a low leather pouf on the other side of the cluttered coffee table.

“So, I’m not sure how much Michelle has told you, but Holli was on probation after her release. She’s violated that by leaving the house. And she most certainly violated it now by leaving the country.” He says it lightly.

Fuck. This is a little more serious than I had hoped. I didn’t think it’d get that far. Holli’s fled the country?

He continues: “That’s one thing. The probation violation is a separate issue, though. The main issue we’re facing right now is that we’re extremely concerned Holli may be trying to make her way into Syria with Ashar Farooq. That appears to be her plan. Both her and Ash’s plan. We know she boarded a flight at Stansted Airport fourteen hours ago to Istanbul. We’ve got CCTV footage of them leaving the airport in Istanbul and boarding a bus. It’s safe to say we’re concerned. So that’s where we are.” His tone is serious now, businesslike.

Syria. This is huge. And the awful truth is: this is a documentarian’s wet dream. Events superseding planned narrative structure. Filmmaking heaven.

But I definitely don’t feel that as I sit here. I see what a great story this could be. I see it, but all I feel now is dread. A barreling wall of horror speeding toward me. This is real. Holli has done something really bad. There will be a full investigation. I am involved. We are all involved. And there is a large bag of loose diamonds under my loft insulation. Which will look fairly incriminating if the police decide to search our house. Very incriminating.

With every bone in my body I wish that Holli would just breeze back in through the door, right this moment, sullen and vicious, and just be a bit rude to us all.

“Our job is simple,” DCI Foster continues.

“First, we need to find out where Holli is, make sure she’s safe, if possible bring her home. Second, we need to find out who she’s been associating with, at what stage she became radicalized in prison, and how she managed to leave the UK. That’s the information I’m currently interested in.”

How does he think we can help with that?

“Now, I want to be clear: in terms of Holli herself, as of now she hasn’t done anything wrong. The probation violation is very small fry compared to the other things at play here; we’re not interested in punishing Holli for running away. It’s more important to get her home and talking to us about what’s gone on. How she managed to obtain her documents, her contacts. We’re looking to help her, and any other girls like her in this situation. You’ll have to trust me when I say this: it’s not the place they think it is out there. They tend to target younger girls, problem girls, promise great things, and by the time the girls get out there it’s too late to change their minds and they’re trapped. Holli’s going to find that all out pretty soon, if she hasn’t already. They don’t care about these girls; they’re trophies. They are expendable.” Andy looks to Michelle, holds her gaze. “Which is why we need to get her home as soon as we can.”

Michelle has gone quite pale. Her hand fumbles a journey down to her cigarette pocket; she’s forgotten that she left them on the kitchen table, and for some reason, this thought makes me incredibly sad.