Someone Else's Ocean(94)

“Did you YouTube that fact on the way over here? Good for you.”

He narrowed his eyes. “No, I read up when I was on the island, making love to you every night and fucking you every day.”

I swallowed as he took a step toward me.

“You were holding out to have this surgery because you thought there might be a chance for a family someday. You endured the pain because you were hoping for a child. Tell me that’s not the truth.” I stayed mute as his furious eyes bore into mine, his jaw clenched. “If I thought for one second this is what you really wanted, I would walk away, but it isn’t. You don’t want this surgery. You want to have babies, in St. Thomas, my babies. Now finish dressing, damnit, I’m here to take you home.”

“There is no home.” I pulled on my blouse and started tugging on the buttons, fighting my tears I turned away from him. “It’s gone, both of our houses.”

“What?”

I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Jasmine just called to let me know Banion’s okay. He can’t even get to our street. It’s all gone. St. Thomas is in shambles.”

His face paled. “Thank Christ you weren’t there when it hit. But it’s still our home.”

I smiled ironically. “No, that was never my home.”

The doctor poked her head in the door. “Koti, I have another appointment and we didn’t really need an exam today. This visit was more for Q & A, so if you have any question feel free to call me on my cell. You can grab it at the receptionist’s desk. Good to meet you…”

“Ian,” he offered, his tone ice.

“Good to meet you, Ian.”

“She’s not having the surgery,” he said matter-of-fact, “but we appreciate your time. Nice to meet you as well.”

Dr. Zander smiled at me, her eyes alight with mischief. She was enjoying the volley between us far too much.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I told her. “I’m sorry about this.”

“She won’t be here,” Ian said, fuming as he glared at me across the bed.

The Dr. spoke up with a smile on her face. “I’ll wait for your call, Koti.”

Once the door was shut, I turned on him, my anger spilling over.

“You have no right to speak on my behalf and you need to leave.”

“And you need to wake the hell up. You aren’t making this decision because it’s what’s best. It’s an emotional call, you’re still angry with me for leaving and you want to give up. I won’t let you.”

“It’s my decision.”

“The hell it is! Get your things we’re leaving!”

“I’m not going anywhere with you!”

“You don’t belong here.”

“I don’t belong on an island in the middle of the damned ocean, either. I’m not sure it’s here, but I’m figuring it out.”

“Jesus,” he said taking a step closer, his eyes accusing. “What happened to you?”

“I woke up, and I needed to grow up. I can’t live in my parents’ vacation rental for the rest of my life, it’s not practical. I’m staying in New York for now. I’m going back to work for a small firm after I recover. It’s major progress, you should be happy for me.”

He crossed his arms. “Are you kidding me?”

I fastened my belt while he fumed on the other side of the bed.

“Look, I’ve been battling this my whole life. I’ll manage. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ve got new plans. The house is gone, there’s nothing to go home to. Jasmine’s considering moving back to the States as well. It’s just not home to either of us anymore. Things change. I took a cue from you, it’s time to be responsible. You of all people should be proud of me.”

“Proud of you? Aikona! No facking way.” Ian’s face turned crimson as I slid into my heels.

“Thank you for your concern, but I assure you I’m fine.”

He narrowed his eyes and strode toward me until the back of my knees touched the bed. I tried not to react to a whiff of his scent. He towered over me as I stood to my full height, thankful for the few inches of advantage my stilettos gave me.

“You want to have this surgery? Fine, tell me how this decision came to pass? You just woke up and decided to change the course of the rest of your life, to give away your chance of having a family, why?”

“I’m in pain!” I defended.

“Bullshit, Koti.”

“No, what’s bullshit is me having to explain myself to you. You don’t have a say in my life. Not anymore.”

“The hell I don’t. I’m the father of your future children so I damn sure do have a say.”

Instant tears filled my eyes and I turned to look out of the window watching the bustling traffic and a woman with a stroller move toward Central Park.

“That’s rich. I haven’t seen or heard from you in months.”

“Doesn’t matter how much time has passed, we’re still in love. I felt it the minute I walked through the door, I’m not playing the denial game with you, or any game ever, for that matter. That isn’t who we are. We’re closer than two people could ever be. I still love you, probably now more than I ever have. And I have loved you. Maybe in different ways and in different degrees over the years but I have loved you. You want to know what I’m doing here? I came to tell you that you’re worth it. And I’ve been stupid and selfish, and I want to spend my life with you.”