Someone Else’s Life(74)

Her father walked over and passed her a steaming mug filled with who-knew-what. Annie made a face at the herbal scent emanating from it. Of course her father would be pushing herbs on her. It was always his go-to for any crisis.

“Drink it. It will help you.”

Annie looked at her father, and he scowled at her. She took a tentative sip. She looked up at him in surprise and took another sip, a bigger one this time.

“See, not so bad.” Her father crossed his arms over his chest in satisfaction. She was so glad he hadn’t been seriously injured during the altercation with Serena.

Annie smiled, reluctant to admit he was right. It actually tasted pretty good. And the warmth sliding down her throat soothed her, bringing a calmness within her for the first time since Serena had disappeared.

“Drink whole thing.”

“Okay, Ba.” And she obeyed, slowly sipping the herbal concoction until most of it was gone. She leaned back against the pillows, cupping the mug in her hand. The warmth thawed her cold fingers, and she gave a sigh. “Where’s Brody?”

“He’s with Finn.” Her father switched to Taiwanese. “They’re watching a movie.”

Annie pushed the comforter aside and swung her legs onto the floor. “I need to go to Finn. He’s been through so much tonight.”

“Wait.” Her father held up a hand. “I want to talk to you.”

Annie halted, about to stand up. Her father wanted to talk to her? He had never said that to her before.

Her father rubbed the side of his head. “I know we don’t talk much, but that doesn’t mean I . . .” He trailed off, and Annie knew whatever he wanted to say was hard for him.

She held her breath, waiting for him to continue. Marley nudged her arm with his nose, and she rubbed the top of his head.

He father turned away from her so that she couldn’t see his face. “You were the one we worried about the least. Jeannie wanted to be the perfect daughter, and Chrissy and I worried she was missing out on life while trying to be perfect. And Sam . . .” Her dad shrugged and turned back to her. Annie could see the smile on his face. “You know Sam has her head in the clouds. She needed me. But you.” He pointed to her. “You always knew what you wanted. You had a mind of your own. You wanted to be a dancer, and convinced your mother and me that you could make it work. You wanted to marry a white man, and convinced us it was the best for you. You didn’t need us as much as your sisters. We didn’t worry about you.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “But maybe we should have. You’ve been struggling these last few years. And your mother wasn’t here to help you. I didn’t know what to do. So I did nothing.”

Annie’s mouth fell open. This was the most her father had ever said to her. And he was talking about feelings, something they didn’t do in their Asian family. Who was this man? What was happening?

“I . . . Ba . . .” she stammered, then slammed her mouth shut. She had no response. It was as if he’d just told her he wasn’t really her father. She wouldn’t have been any more surprised if that had been what he’d said.

Her father regarded her for a moment. Silence hung between them. But for the first time since she was a little girl and used to throw herself at her father, sure he would catch her, it wasn’t awkward.

“I give you herbs. And Asian remedies. Tai chi. Because that’s what I know. That’s what I believe in.” Her father clasped his hands together. “I want to help you, but I only push you away.”

“No.” Annie shook her head. “I was the one who pushed you away. I didn’t understand.”

Her father shook his head as if disagreeing with her. “But now I have to speak up. What happened to that woman was not your fault.”

Annie shrugged. She was still blaming herself, wondering whether, if she’d said or done something different, she could have gotten Serena back on land in time. There was still no sign of her. The police had come back again half an hour ago, to let them know they were still searching. If they didn’t find her by morning, the Kauai fire department would take over the search. She hadn’t wanted to ask when they would give up, but the policeman had read the question on her face. He’d told her they assumed someone was alive at least for the first three days.

Her father continued. “It was nature. And her own choice to go down there. You saved your son. You should hold on to that.” His voice soothed the guilt.

Annie gave him a look. “I’ve never heard you speak so much in my life.”

He shrugged. “The Western way, it doesn’t make sense to me. That’s not how I was brought up, so I don’t have much to say.” He turned his hands up. “Things are so different in Taiwan. But we’re in America. And Sam sat me down, had a talk with me.”

Annie’s eyebrows rose in surprise. Sam was behind this talk with her father?

“She said to me, ‘You have to reach out to Annie. You have to tell her it’s okay to ask for help.’” Her father shrugged, a helpless look on his face. They stared at each other for a moment. “I’m here. You do what you need for you.”

“Big Auntie won’t like that.” Annie looked at her father and was gratified when a hint of a smile played around his mouth.

“No, she won’t.” He shook his head, the smile getting bigger. “But what does she know? She still uses her dishwasher as a drying rack, no matter how many times I’ve told her it’s for washing dishes.”