So Here’s the Thing…: Notes on Growing Up, Getting Older, and Trusting Your Gut(22)

2 Doing your job doesn’t usually qualify you for a raise. Showing initiative and creativity does. So if you’re in a job that doesn’t have a clear path to promotion, make sure to ask when you’re interviewing—or just after you’ve been hired—what that process looks like. The answer will help you understand how you’ll fit in, how you can grow, and if you should take the job at all. If the metrics are clear, great. Sometimes, you need to achieve more than your peers, and in some industries that means fierce competition. That is not for me. I know this. I like to collaborate and be a team. If it’s a dog-eat-dog, every-woman-for-herself atmosphere, I can’t work there.

3 When you’re getting ready for an interview, think about what you’re wearing. First, you want your outfit to reflect your personality. (It’s actually important! Especially, I hate to say it, if you’re interviewing with a woman. But more and more men care about clothes, too.) Second, you want your outfit to reflect the vibe of the place you’re interviewing at. People who showed up to Vice in suits to interview were immediately deemed suspicious not because we thought they were huge nerds but because you couldn’t help wondering, Um, did they even google Vice before they replied to the job posting?

For me: Navy pants and a white button-down—even if it’s for Vice, it’s gotta be ironed—is a foolproof, all-occasion outfit.

4 Many years ago, when I was working for John Kerry’s presidential campaign, I was at debate prep camp in Santa Fe—a town I love!—and in charge of a sundry list of tasks, which included things like picking out ties that didn’t “bleed” on TV as well as what you might call more “meaningful” work, like negotiating about format and helping review performance video. I think the bosses let me do some of the more meaningful work so that I wouldn’t feel totally consumed by whether we should do a red or a blue tie, but I appreciated it, because not everyone was so nice. One day I walked into the prep just before JK was coming down, and someone quite senior came over to me. He said, without salutation or smile, “Sharpen these,” and thrust about ten pencils into my face. No “please,” no “thank you,” no camaraderie-forming cute joke about how old-school No. 2 pencils are.

My job was to support the team. So I sharpened the pencils.

But I never forgot that guy. Fast-forward about eight years, and I found myself working with this person again, only this time I had the power. I’d been promoted before he came into his job there, and although we were mostly peers in the White House, in a few areas I was his designated superior.

How delicious.

I’m adept at passive aggression, but this time I just went for it. I knew I’d never get past it and be able to work productively with him if I didn’t say something. “Oh my God, hi!” I said when we sat down for our first 7:30 AM meeting in the chief of staff’s office together. “Remember when you made me sharpen your pencils in Santa Fe?”

No, he didn’t. I assumed he wouldn’t. Because when he made me sharpen his pencils, I wasn’t a person to him. I was a flunky. But he definitely felt embarrassed. Or at least I like to think so.

I’m not telling this story to get revenge—I knew he didn’t mean to be dismissive in Santa Fe. But the lesson I learned from it is really important: Even though we can all be assholes sometimes, you should treat everyone like they could be your boss someday. Even assistants. Even assistants to assistants. Any time I interviewed with an assistant—or even set up an interview with an assistant—in the 1990s and early 2000s, I always sent a nice thank-you note on stationery. Now, I’m very OK with email thank-yous, but regardless: Thank them for their help and time, convey your enthusiasm for the position, and then drop the mic. Assistants are also very busy.

5 While I can’t tell you how to “be me by the time you’re thirty-five,” if you want to work in politics, I can tell you how I did it. I got to the White House because I only worked for people I truly believed in, except when I had to pay the bills. I got my general assistant job with John Kerry after I saw him give a speech on TV and felt that I really needed to work for him specifically. There are a lot of people who work in government who do it strategically, who latch on to politicians they think have the best shot at winning elections rather than politicians for whom they’d walk through fire. This works sometimes, but I don’t think it would have ever worked for me. And I don’t know how you’d be able to work as hard as you have to work, day in and day out, with no life, if you didn’t really care about the mission.





MY FAVORITE WHITE HOUSE MEMENTOS





West Wing parking placard: On mornings when I was mentally present, I couldn’t help but be in awe driving through those iron gates every morning. Also, I was in charge of who got to park on West Exec, which was a huge pain in the ass—everyone clamoring for spots—and keeping my parking pass reminds me to be grateful that I don’t have to do that anymore.

My to-do lists: They remind me of how productive I can be when it’s really necessary. Also, they are funny.

A German Christmas music box I got in Dresden, to replace the one I broke when I was a toddler.

Can’t Get Right: This is a stuffed owl with a busted wing and crossed eye the advance team brought me from a trip to Madison, Wisconsin. Dey—Danielle Crutchfield, director of scheduling and my right-hand woman—named it Can’t Get Right, and when anyone would annoy us we would make weird owl noises and hold up Can’t Get Right.