Snow White Must Die (Bodenstein & Kirchhoff, #4)(40)

“It’s not easy to ignore the topic,” he said at last in a hoarse voice. “I was convicted of murder and did ten years in the joint. We can’t simply act as if that never happened and we’re still twenty years old.”

He turned around. “I have no idea who killed Laura and Stefanie. I can’t rule out that it could have been me, but why can’t I remember? And so far I can’t. There’s only this … this black hole. The psychologist at the trial said that the human brain sometimes reacts with a sort of amnesia, like after a bad shock. But don’t you think I would remember something, at least? Like putting Laura in the trunk and driving somewhere? But it’s all a blank. The last thing I remember is Stefanie telling me that she … that she … didn’t love me anymore. And then Felix and J?rg came to the door at some point, and I had drunk so much vodka that I was feeling terrible. Then suddenly the cops were standing there and claiming that I’d killed Laura and Stefanie!”

Nadia sat there studying him with her big jade-green eyes.

“Don’t you see, Nadia?” His tone was pleading. The pain inside him was back, stronger than ever before. Too much was at stake. He didn’t want to get into a relationship with Nadia when he knew that she would only end up disappointed again. “It torments me not to know what really happened. Did I kill them? Or didn’t I?”

“Tobi,” Nadia said softly. “I love you. And have for as long as I can remember. It doesn’t matter to me, even if you did do it.”

Tobias grimaced in despair. She simply didn’t want to understand. He urgently needed someone to believe him. To believe in him. He couldn’t handle living as an outcast; it would destroy him.

“But it matters to me,” he insisted. “I’ve lost ten years of my life. I no longer have a future. Somebody has destroyed me. And I can’t just act like it’s all in the past now.”

“So what do you plan to do?”

“I want to know the truth. Even if it means finding out that I really did do it.”

Nadia pushed back her chair. She came over to him, threw her arms around him, and looked into his eyes.

“I believe you,” she said softly. “And if you want, I’ll help you with everything. Just don’t go back to Altenhain. Please.”

“Where am I supposed to go?”

“Stay here. Or in my house in Ticino in Switzerland. Or in Hamburg.” She smiled, warming to the idea. “That’s it! Come with me now! You’ll like the house. It’s right on the water.”

Tobias hesitated. “I can’t just leave my father alone like that. And my mother needs me too. As soon as she’s feeling better, then maybe.”

“From here you can drive to see your father in Altenhain in fifteen minutes.” Nadia’s big green eyes were close to his. He could smell the scent of her skin, the fragrance of her shampoo. Half the men in Germany dreamed of being asked to move in with Nadia von Bredow. What was stopping him?

“Tobi, please!” She put her hand on his cheek. “I’m worried about you. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. When I think what might have happened if those guys caught you instead of that girl…”

Amelie. He’d forgotten all about her. She was in Altenhain, and somewhere in that village the truth about those terrible events was hiding.

“I’ll be careful,” he reassured her. “Don’t worry.”

“I love you, Tobi.”

“I love you too,” he replied, and took her in his arms.

* * *



“Boss?” Kai Ostermann was standing in the doorway of his office, holding two sheets of paper in his hand.

Bodenstein stopped in his tracks. “What’s up?”

“We just got this fax.” Ostermann handed him the pages and scrutinized Bodenstein’s face; since it revealed nothing, Ostermann refrained from commenting.

“Thanks” was all Bodenstein said, going into his office with his heart pounding. It was the GPS track of Cosima’s cell phone over the past two weeks, which he had ordered the day before yesterday from the phone company. For the first time he had used his professional clout to find out something of a personal nature. The urge to know was stronger than his guilty conscience about an action that a malicious officer might interpret as abuse of his position. He sat down at his desk and took a moment to prepare himself. What he read robbed him of any illusion. She had indeed been in Mainz on two different days, and only for about an hour each time. But she had spent the mornings of eight days in Frankfurt. Bodenstein leaned his elbows on the desk, rested his chin on his fists, and paused to think. Then he grabbed the phone and punched in the number of Cosima’s office. Kira Gasthuber, Cosima’s production assistant and jill-of-all-trades, picked up after two rings. Cosima was out of the office for a short time. Why didn’t he try her cell?

So that she won’t lie to me, you nitwit, thought Bodenstein. He was about to hang up when he heard the bright voice of his youngest daughter in the background. All at once an alarm went off in his head. Cosima normally took Sophia everywhere with her. Why had she left the girl at the office today? To his question Kira replied that Cosima hadn’t been out for long, and Sophia was amusing herself as best she could with her and René.

When he hung up, Bodenstein sat for a while at his desk. His thoughts were churning. Five times Cosima’s phone had been tracked to the cellular zone located in the north end of Frankfurt between Glauburgstrasse, Oeder Weg, the Eckenheimer highway, and Eschersheimer Park. On the city map it might look small, but that area contained hundreds of buildings with thousands of apartments. Damn. Where was she? And most importantly, with whom? How would he react if it turned out that she was actually cheating on him? And how come he thought she had a need to cheat on him? Sure, their sex life was no longer as lively as before Sophia was born; the presence of a small child took care of that. But it wasn’t as if Cosima was missing out on anything. Or was she? To his dismay he could no longer remember the last time he had slept with his wife. He thought back. He did remember! It was the night she came home a little tipsy and in a good mood from her friend’s birthday party. Bodenstein got out his day planner and searched for that date. A strange feeling came sneaking up on him that got stronger the farther back he paged. Had he totally forgotten to enter Bernhard’s birthday? No, he hadn’t. Bernhard had celebrated his fiftieth on September 20 at Schloss Johannisberg in the Rheingau. That couldn’t be right! He counted and realized that he hadn’t slept with Cosima in eight weeks. Was he the one to blame if she was unfaithful? There was a knock on the door and Nicola Engel stepped in.