Smoke and Steel (Wild West MC #2)(28)

Bryan knew all about my dad.

Bryan had never met my dad.

Bryan hated my dad because Bryan didn’t like he’d hurt me.

I felt a warmth hit my belly it wasn’t his to give me anymore, and I fought the urge to throw my phone at the four-hundred-dollar arrangement of roses on my desk.

“Okay,” Bryan read my non-response for what it was (finally!). “I’ll let you go, but will you fill me in over coffee? The Cliff Notes version if that’s all the time you have, so I don’t worry.”

“All right,” I gave in.

“Saturday?”

This guy.

Saturday meant neither of us would have to rush back to work, stripping away an excuse I could latch onto in order to get away from him fast.

Did he think I was an idiot?

But coffee and then it’d be over?

“Fine,” I agreed.

“Ten? Fortnum’s? Or do you want to go somewhere else?”

“That works.”

“Awesome, baby. See you then.”

“Then” was the day after tomorrow.

And then we’d be done.

“See you then.”

“Love you, Hellen.”

“’Bye, Bryan.”

I rang off, hating to do it, leaving his sentiment hanging. I knew it hurt him, so it didn’t feel nice. I’d already done it once, and it, along with all the rest, sent me to bed on a crying jag that put me off cookies. Even though I’d never outright told him I loved him, because I wasn’t sure I was there, and then became sure I wasn’t going to get there, a curt “’Bye, Bryan” wasn’t the way I used to roll.

But…onward!

I tossed my phone in my bag, checked everything was good for me to leave, then I took off.

I had the urge to phone Core on the way to my parents’, coming up with a variety of reasons why I needed to talk to him.

Fortunately, they were all lame, so I managed to stop myself and hit Mom and Andy’s.

I parked, got out and headed in.

“Mom? Andy? I’m here!” I called after I walked inside.

Mom came out of the kitchen, took one look at me, and said, “Oh, honey. Didn’t you have time to go home and change into something comfy?”

She was approaching me with arms out.

I opened mine, and we hugged.

“Waste of gas money when I can do this,” I remarked and kicked my pumps off.

She watched, grinned at me, patted my face, and replied, “Always so smart with your money. That’s my girl.” She turned and headed back to the kitchen. “Come, I’m putting the finishing touches on dinner.”

I tossed my bag on the couch and followed her. “Where’s Andy and Li?”

“Outside, doing something with the bunch of lumber that Andy dragged home from Lowe’s last weekend. I’m not allowed to look. The final unveiling is going to be a surprise. They’re giving me a girl shed.”

“She shed,” I corrected.

“What?” she asked, opening the oven and pulling out a roasting chicken.

“Nothing. Sweet of Andy to do.”

Her smile was beautiful and private when she told the chicken, “Andy’s sweet.”

I studied my mother.

Did I want that look one day?

Or was all that was going on a lesson to me that I enjoyed my life, my friends, my space, my business, so I was good?

I didn’t mind going into the office early or working late. I didn’t even notice it. I loved what I did.

Further, I didn’t mind living alone. I had to admit that it’d been kind of a relief that Bryan wasn’t around anymore, everything was as I wanted it. I didn’t have bathroom towels to pick up from the floor or whiskers to rinse out of the sink or plastics and beer bottles to fish out of the garbage to recycle.

I also didn’t mind going to bed alone.

Bryan had never moved in, but he slept over a lot because his apartment was a pit, and he had a roommate. He snored. I was a light sleeper. It drove me crazy. I might miss his hands and mouth on me. The intimacy of having a man in your bed. The further intimacy of knowing him and his body and what he liked, and him knowing the same about you. The boost you felt that a man wanted you in that way.

But I’d just talked to him, and outside of him slightly irritating me, I’d had no reaction.

I was seeing now I’d missed him for a while, like a habit I enjoyed but it wasn’t healthy for me. So I quit it, it wasn’t altogether easy, but I was able to get on with my life, and right then, I was realizing I could live without him just fine.

“Hellen?” Mom called.

I focused on her.

She was basting the chicken.

“Sorry, miles away,” I said.

“Are you thinking about your dad?” she asked gently.

“I was thinking about Bryan.”

“Oh, sweetie,” she cooed.

“No, I was thinking about the fact I’m over him.”

She blinked.

The sliding glass door to the backyard opened and Andy and Li trooped in.

“Yo, bitch!” Liane greeted.

I grinned at my sister.

She was wearing a T-shirt that said, F*** the Patriarchy!, cutoff shorts, her skin was tan, her long hair was in a sloppy knot on top of her head, she had not a swipe of makeup on her face, bare feet, and they were filthy, and I could see dirt under her short fingernails.