Skin Game (The Dresden Files, #15)(18)

Outrage and anger burned within me, both because of my helplessness and because the Alchemists had fooled Lissa with their lies. “But it’s the truth! Sydney got friendly with all of us. She stopped acting like an Alchemist who thought we were creatures of evil. She became our friend. Hell, she treated Jill like she was a sister—ironic, since Sydney’s own sister’s the one who betrayed her. Ask Eddie. He was there when she was taken.”

“But not for what happened afterward,” finished Lissa. “He didn’t see if she was taken to be tortured like you say. He didn’t see if maybe she was just reassigned somewhere else, somewhere far away from you guys. Maybe that’s the only ‘treatment’ the Alchemists are giving her if they think you interfered with their ideologies.”

“They’ve done more than that,” I growled. “I feel it in my gut.”

“Liss,” began Rose uneasily. “There must be something you can do. …”

Hope returned to me. If Rose was on board, maybe we could get others to help us behind the scenes. “Look,” I said. “What if we try a different approach? Instead of directly questioning the Alchemists again, you could maybe send a … I don’t know … strike team to investigate some possible locations for where she’s being held?” It seemed like a brilliant idea to me. Marcus had been tapped for resources to investigate his list, but maybe we could recruit the Moroi and other dhampirs.

Rose lit up. “I’d totally help with that. Sydney’s my friend, and I’ve got experience with—”

“No!” exclaimed Lissa, standing up. “No, both of you! Do you even hear what you’re saying? Asking me to send a ‘strike team’ to break into Alchemist facilities? That’s like an act of war! Can you even imagine how that would sound reversed? If they were sending teams of humans to investigate us?”

“Considering their ethics,” I said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve already tried.”

“No,” Lissa repeated. “I can’t do any more with this, not if it doesn’t directly affect my own people. I wish I could help everyone in the world—yes, including Sydney. But right now, my responsibilities are to my own people. If I’m taking risks, it has to be for them.”

I stood up, full of anger and disappointment and a whole bunch of other emotions I couldn’t yet define. “I thought you were a different kind of leader. One championing what was right.”

“Yes, I am,” she said, forcing calm with what appeared to be a great deal of effort. “And I’m currently championing more freedom for dhampirs, supporting Moroi who want to defend themselves, and getting the age law amended so that my own sister can come out of hiding! Meanwhile, I’m doing all this while going to school and trying to ignore the very loud faction that keeps demanding my removal from power. And don’t even ask me what time I have left over for a personal life. Is that enough to satisfy you, Adrian?”

“At least you have a personal life,” I muttered. I headed for the door. “Sorry to have interrupted your studying. Good luck with exams.”

Rose tried to summon me back, and I think she might have even tried to follow me, but then Lissa called her name. No one came after me, and I let myself out of the royal apartments and back down through the winding halls of the palace. Fury and frustration simmered within me. I’d been so certain if I appealed to Lissa face-to-face—sober, even!—and explained my case, she’d do something for Sydney. I understood if the Alchemists were blocking Lissa’s official attempts, but surely she could have found a group of Rose Hathaways to do some snooping around! Lissa had let me down, claiming to be a crusader but ultimately proving as much a bureaucrat as any other politician.

Despair began winding its way through me, dark and insidious, telling me I’d been a fool to come here. How could I really believe anything would change? Rose had looked like she wanted to help, but could I get her to go behind her best friend’s back? Probably not. Rose was stuck in the system. I was stuck in my inability to help Sydney. I was useless to her, useless to everyone and everything—

“Adrian?”

I’d just been about to walk out of the palace’s front doors when I heard a voice behind me. I turned and saw a pretty Moroi girl with gray eyes and dark, curly hair hurrying up to me. For a moment, my earlier emotional storm clouded my recognition skills. Then it came back to me.

“Nina?”

Her face broke into a grin as she threw herself at me in an unexpected embrace. “It is you,” she said happily. “I was worried you’d disappeared. You haven’t answered any messages or calls.”

“Don’t take it personally,” I assured her, holding the door open. “I’ve been neglecting everyone.” It was true. I’d dropped off the face of the earth when Sydney had been taken.

Those remarkable gray eyes watched me with worry. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I mean, no. It’s complicated.”

“Well, I’ve got time,” she said as we stepped into the warm summer night. “We could get some food and talk.”

I hesitated, unsure if I wanted to unburden myself. I’d met Nina earlier this year, just after she’d helped her sister transform back from being a Strigoi. Nina was a spirit user like me and had helped a little when I’d fought to capture some of the power that went into restoring a Strigoi—power that we’d found could act as a vaccine to stop others from being forcibly turned against their will. Her sister, Olive, was also Neil’s object d’amour, if you could go that far. The two had only met a few times and maybe had a brief fling, though when she dropped out of communication, he pined for her as though they’d been together for years.