Silent Victim(72)

I rose, my fists curled by my sides. ‘It wasn’t like that. I was trying to protect him. Luke was at the window. I saw him.’

‘Settle down,’ she said calmly. ‘He’s not left you or anything, he’s just taking a break. It’s been very stressful for him too, you know, and he’s got his new job to consider. If he blows that, then none of you will be going anywhere.’

‘He had no right taking Jamie like that, not without my permission.’

‘Emma, this is me you’re talking to. I know you better than anyone, and you’re not an easy person to live with. Your eating disorder, all that stuff with Mum, and now Luke. People do have limits, you know. I think you forget that sometimes.’

I looked around the dirty flat, at Theresa’s dishevelled appearance. I had come here for my own reasons, but was shocked to see what a state she was in.

‘Sorry,’ I said quietly. ‘Perhaps you should stay for a couple of nights while I give Alex some space. We can talk things through; we could do with a proper catch-up.’ It would be good for her to have some company, and I was scared to be alone in case Luke returned. Alex had disturbed his game-playing last night, but I had nobody to protect me now. I checked my watch. ‘I’d better be getting back. Do you need a hand cleaning up before I go?’ I eyed the bedroom. If there were a drainage problem, surely it would be coming from the bathroom instead? Whatever it was, she didn’t want me to know about it, or perhaps she was just ashamed I had caught her out.

‘No, you get back to Josh, I’ll take a shower and join you in an hour. And, Emma, don’t try ringing Alex. He’s back on the road now. It might not be safe. He said to tell you that Jamie’s fine and he’ll speak to you soon.’

I nodded dumbly, the guilt making me feel like my heart had been wrenched from my chest. I knew I had frightened Jamie last night, and for that I was thoroughly ashamed. To be honest, I had frightened myself. I was on an emotional see-saw, experiencing cycles of lucidity and aggression, with a hazy fog of confusion in between. The slashed dress, the incident in the car park . . . had I orchestrated it all myself? It was a chilling prospect. But I had received phone calls . . . hadn’t I? I knew it was him. I had not imagined a hooded face at the window. It had been dark outside, but it was Luke . . . it had to be. I said my goodbyes to Theresa, my thoughts tormenting me. Perhaps if I saw a doctor, cleared my head, then these torturous feelings would go away. I needed to eat, to make myself strong. I had to fight for my family if I had any hope of winning them back. And somewhere in my mind was the thought that I was not the only one with secrets. Theresa was hiding something too.





CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN

ALEX





2017


I hadn’t intended to call Theresa, but the further I got from home, the guiltier I felt. I thought about how I’d feel if I was the one back in Colchester, completely oblivious of the fact my son had been taken away. I knew Emma would be checking the webcam and would panic when he didn’t show. Yet again I found myself relying on my sister-in-law to bridge the ever-widening gap between my wife and me. I could only hope that she would make her understand.

Mum’s house in the suburbs was warm and welcoming. Deep luxurious carpets graced the floors, and floral sofas dressed with plump cushions and soft throws made the living room a very inviting place. I inhaled deeply as the enticing aroma of freshly baked Victoria sponge teased my senses. It felt good to be home. Jamie loved it here too, and it did not take long for him to settle in. I wished that we’d moved here earlier, but Emma had expressed reservations. She’d needed time to dig up the body on our land, of course. I wondered what Theresa had done with the remains and felt my appetite fade. Shuddering, I directed my focus to Jamie, who was sitting on the living-room floor. Wearing a huge smile on his face, he tore open the wrapping on the present my mother had bought.

‘A Nintendo DS!’ he squealed, taking it from the wrapping paper, pausing only to give Mum a hug.

‘You shouldn’t have gone to so much expense,’ I said. ‘He’s only four, he’ll barely be able to play.’

But my words fell on deaf ears. Mum was positively glowing in his presence. Despite our regular phone calls, it had been hard for her, living so far away. It was a part of our relationship that Emma could not understand. Mum and I were close, but it was not something Emma had experienced, and once I saw her rolling her eyes as Mum called us for the third time that day. I caught my thoughts. What was I doing? Trying to justify leaving my wife? I had a good reason. I had unearthed more than a body last night. Simmering resentment had risen to the surface too. But I could fix this. I had to. We were over the worst. Emma would be by my side when she was well enough to join us.

‘If I can’t treat my only grandson then who can I treat?’ Mum said smugly. She was only five foot one, and with her short permed hair and colourful clothes, she was the sweetest person you could ever meet. But Mum was like me: fiercely protective of her brood. I knew she was desperate for the truth. ‘Besides . . .’ She lowered her voice. ‘You made it sound like he’s going to be here for some time. I didn’t want him getting bored.’

I knew the remark was a request for further information, but I was still raw from recent events. ‘I’ll fill you in later,’ I said, with as much reassurance as I could muster. I slid my mobile from my pocket, activating the screen to bring up a recent missed call. ‘I’ve got a phone call to make, can you watch Jamie for five minutes while I take it outside?’