Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1)(80)

“What if I don’t want to sleep?” Adam asks, unabashed. “I’m not allowed to leave my room?”

Kenji presses his lips together. Narrows his eyes. “I will not use this word often, Kent, but please don’t try any fancy secret-sneaking-away shit. We have to regulate things around here for a reason. It’s the only way to survive. So do everyone a favor and keep your pants on. You’ll see her in the morning.”

But morning feels like a million years from now.





FIFTY


The twins are still asleep when someone knocks. Sonya and Sara showed me where the girls’ bathrooms are so I had a chance to shower last night, but I’m still wearing Kenji’s oversized clothes. I feel a little ridiculous as I pad my way toward the door.

I open it.

Blink. “Hey, Winston.”

He looks me up and down. “Castle thought you might like to change out of those clothes.”

“You have something for me to wear?”

“Yeah—remember? We made you something custom.”

“Oh. Wow. Yeah, that sounds great.”

I slip outside silently, following Winston through the dark halls. The underground world is quiet, its inhabitants still asleep. I ask Winston why we’re up so early.

“I figured you’d want to meet everyone at breakfast. This way you can jump into the regular routine of things around here—even get started on your training.” He glances back. “We all have to learn how to harness our abilities in the most effective manner possible. It’s no good having no control over your body.”

“Wait—you have an ability, too?”

“There are exactly fifty-six of us who do. The rest are our family members, children, or close friends who help out with everything else. So yes, I’m one of those fifty-six. So are you.”

I’m nearly stepping on his feet in an effort to keep up with his long legs. “So what can you do?”

He doesn’t answer. And I can’t be sure, but I think he’s blushing.

“I’m sorry—” I backpedal. “I don’t mean to pry— I shouldn’t have asked—”

“It’s okay,” he cuts me off. “I just think it’s kind of stupid.” He laughs a short, hard laugh. “Of all the things I should be able to do,” he sighs. “At least you can do something interesting. ”

I stop walking, stunned. Horrified. “You think this is a competition? To see which magic trick is more twisted? To see who can inflict the most pain?”

“That’s not what I meant—”

“I don’t think it’s interesting to be able to kill someone by accident. I don’t think it’s interesting to be afraid to touch a living thing.”

His jaw is tense. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just . . . I wish I were more useful. That’s all.”

I cross my arms. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

He rolls his eyes. Runs a hand through his hair. “I’m just—I’m very . . . flexible,” he says.

It takes me a moment to process his admission. “Like— you can bend yourself into a pretzel?”

“Sure. Or stretch myself if I need to.”

I’m gawking so openly I must be embarrassing myself. “Can I see?”

He bites his lip. Readjusts his glasses. Looks both ways down the empty hall. And loops one arm around his waist. Twice.

I’m gaping like a dead fish. “Wow.”

“It’s stupid,” he grumbles. “And useless.”

“Are you insane?” I lean back to look at him. “That’s incredible.”

But his arm is back to normal and he’s walking away again. I have to run to catch up.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” I try to tell him. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” But he’s not listening and I’m wondering when I became a motivational speaker. When I made the switch from hating myself to accepting myself. When it became okay for me to choose my own life.

Winston leads me to the room I met him in. The same white walls. The same small bed. Only this time, Adam and Kenji are waiting inside. My heart kicks into gear and I’m suddenly nervous.

Adam is up. He’s standing on his own and he looks perfect. Beautiful. Unharmed. There’s not a single drop of blood on his body. He walks forward with only a slight discomfort, smiles at me with no difficulty. His skin is a little paler than normal, but positively radiant compared to his complexion the night we arrived. His natural tan offsets a pair of eyes a shade of blue in a midnight sky.

“Juliette,” he says.

I can’t stop staring at him. Marveling at him. Amazed by how incredible it feels to know that he’s all right. “Hey.” I manage to smile.

“Good morning to you, too,” Kenji interjects.

I startle. I’m pinker than a summer sunset, and shrinking just as quickly. “Oh, hi.” I wave a limp hand in his direction.

He snorts.

“All right. Let’s get this over with, shall we?” Winston walks toward one of the walls, which turns out to be a closet. There’s one pop of color inside. He pulls it off the hanger.

“Can I, uh, have a moment alone with her?”