Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1)(59)

Kenji stares at me. I stare back.

He grins and hobbles forward. “You know, you’re pretty sexy for a psycho chick.”

Click.

Kenji is backing up with his hands in the air. Adam is pressing a gun to his forehead. “Show some respect, or I will burn it into your skull.”

“I was kidding—”

“Like hell you were.”

“Damn, Adam, calm the hell down—”

“Where’s the ‘super-safe place’ you can take us?” I’m up, gun still gripped in my hand. I move into position next to Adam. “Or are you making that up?”

Kenji lights up. “No, that’s real. Very real. In fact, I may or may not have mentioned something about you. And the dude who runs the place may or may not be ridiculously interested in meeting you.”

“You think I’m some kind of freak you can show off to your friends?” Locked. Loaded.

Kenji clears his throat. “Not a freak. Just . . . interesting.”

I point my gun at his nose. “I’m so interesting I can kill you with my bare hands.”

A barely perceptible flash of fear flickers in his eyes.

He swallows a few gallons of humility. Tries to smile. “You sure you’re not crazy?”

“No.” I cock my head. “I’m not sure.”

Kenji grins. Looks me up and down. “Well damn. But you make crazy sound so good.”

“I’m about five inches from breaking your face,” Adam warns him, his voice like steel, his body stiff with anger, his eyes narrowed, unflinching. There’s no hint of humor in his expression. “I don’t need another reason.”

“What?” Kenji laughs, undeterred. “I haven’t been this close to a chick in way too long, bro. And crazy or not—”

“I’m not interested.”

Kenji turns to face me. “Well I’m not sure I blame you. I look like hell right now. But I clean up okay.” He attempts a grin. “Give me a couple days. You might change your mind—”

Adam elbows him in the face and doesn’t apologize.





THIRTY-SIX


Kenji is swearing, bleeding, running out of expletives and tripping his way toward the bathroom, holding his nose together.

Adam pulls me into James’ bedroom.

“Tell me something,” he says. He stares up at the ceiling, takes a hard breath. “Tell me anything—”

I try to focus his eyes, grasp his hands, gentle gentle gentle. I wait until he’s looking at me. “Nothing is going to happen to James. We’ll keep him safe. I promise.”

His eyes are full of pain like I’ve never seen them before. He parts his lips. Presses them together. Changes his mind a million times until his words tumble through the air between us. “He doesn’t even know about our dad.” It’s the first time he’s acknowledged the issue. It’s the first time he’s acknowledged that I know anything about it. “I never wanted him to know. I made up stories for him. I wanted him to have a chance to be normal.” His lips are spelling secrets and my ears are spilling ink, staining my skin with his stories. “I don’t want anyone to touch him. I don’t want to screw him up. I can’t—God I can’t let it happen,” he says to me. Hushed. Quiet.

I’ve searched the world for all the right words and my mouth is full of nothing.

“It’s never enough,” he whispers. “I can never do enough. He still wakes up screaming. He still cries himself to sleep. He sees things I can’t control.” He blinks a million times.

“So many people, Juliette.”

I hold my breath.

“Dead.”

I touch the word on his lips and he kisses my fingers. His eyes are two pools of perfection, open, honest, humble. “I don’t know what to do,” he says, and it’s like a confession that costs him so much more than I can understand. Control is slipping through his fingers and he’s desperate to hold on. “Tell me what to do. ”

I can hear our heartbeats in the silence between us. I study the shape of his lips, the strong lines of his face, the eyelashes any girl would kill for, the deep dark blue of the eyes I’ve learned to swim in. I offer him the only possibility I have. “Kenji’s plan might be worth considering.”

“You trust him?” Adam leans back, surprised.

“I don’t think he’s lying about knowing a place we can go.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Why not . . . ?”

Something that might not be a laugh. “I might kill him before we even get there.”

My lips twist into a sad smile. “There isn’t any other place for us to hide, is there?”

The sun is revolving around the moon when he responds. He shakes his head. Once. Fast. Tight.

I squeeze his hand. “Then we have to try.”

“What the hell are you doing in there?” Kenji shouts through the door. Pounds it a couple times. “I mean, shit, man, I don’t think there’s ever a bad time to get naked, but now is probably not the best time for a nooner. So unless you want to get killed, I suggest you get your ass out here. We have to get ready to go.”

“I might kill him right now,” Adam changes his mind.