Shadow Me (Shatter Me #4.5)(9)

J isn’t like this.

She’s not cold like this.

I’ve seen her get angry—hell, I’ve seen her lose her mind—but she’s never been cruel. She’s not mean. And it’s not that I think Lena deserves better, because I don’t. I don’t give a shit about Lena. But this—this display—is so out of character for Juliette that it must mean she’s hurting even more than I thought. More than I could’ve imagined. Like the pain has disfigured her.

I would know. I know her.

Warner might murder me if he knew I felt this way, but the truth is, I know Juliette better than anyone. Better than he does.

The math is simple: J and I have been closer, longer.

She and I have been through more shit together. We’ve had more time to talk about real things together. She’s my closest friend.

Castle has been there for me, too, but he’s like a father to me, and I can’t talk to him or anyone else the way I do with Juliette. She’s different. She gets me. I give her a lot of crap for being emotional all the time, but I love how empathetic she is. I love how she feels things so deeply that sometimes even joy manages to wound her. It’s who she is. She’s all heart.

And this—this version of her I’m seeing right now?

It’s bullshit.

I can’t accept it because I know it’s not real. Because I know it means something is wrong.

Suddenly, a swell of angry voices breaks through my reverie.

I look up just in time to realize Lena has said something nasty. Valentina, one of the twins, turns on her, and I force myself to pay closer attention as she says— “I should’ve cut off your ears when I had the chance.”

My eyebrows shoot up my forehead.

I step forward, confused, and glance around the room for a clue, but a strange, uncomfortable tension has reduced everyone to silence.

“Uh, I’m sorry,” I say, clearing my throat. “Am I missing something?”

More silence.

It’s Lena who finally volunteers an explanation, but I already know better than to trust her when she says, “Valentina likes to play pretend.”

Nicolás, the other twin, rounds on her in an instant, furiously firing back in Spanish. Valentina pats her brother on the shoulder. “No,” she says, “you know what? It’s okay. Let her talk. Lena thinks I like to pretend”—she says a word in Spanish—“I won’t be pretending”—more words in Spanish.

Stephan’s mouth drops open in what appears to be shock, but Lena just rolls her eyes, so I have no idea what just happened.

I frown. It’s a frustrating conversation to follow.

But when I glance over at Juliette I realize, with welcome relief, that I’m not the only one feeling this way; J doesn’t understand what they’re talking about, either. Neither does Castle. And just as I think that Warner must be confused, too, he starts talking to Valentina in fluent Spanish.

Suddenly my head is spinning.

“Damn, bro,” I say. “You speak Spanish, too, huh? I’m going to have to get used to this.”

“We all speak many languages,” Nicolás says to me. He still seems a little irritated, but I’m grateful for the explanation. “We have to be able to communi—”

Juliette cuts him off angrily. “Listen, guys, I don’t care about your personal dramas. I have a massive headache and a million things to do today, and I’d like to get started.”

Ha.

Of course. Juliette has a hangover.

I bet she’s never had a hangover. And if this weren’t, like, a life or death situation, I’d think it was kind of hilarious.

Nicolás says something softly in response to her, and then drops his head in a mini-bow.

I cross my arms. I don’t trust him.

“What?” Juliette stares at him, confused. “I don’t know what that means.”

Nicolás smiles at her. He says something else in Spanish—and by now it’s obvious he’s screwing with her—and I nearly kick the little shit in the face.

Warner gets to him before I do. He says something to Nicolás, something else I don’t understand, but somehow this makes Juliette angrier.

What a weird morning.

I hear Nicolás say, “We are pleased to meet you,” in English, and I’m officially so goddamn confused I think I should just see myself out.

Juliette says, “I take it you’ll all be attending the symposium today?”

Another douche-bow from Nicolás. More words in Spanish.

“That’s a yes,” Warner translates.

That seems to piss her off. She spins around, turns to face him. “What other languages do you speak?” she says, her eyes flashing, and Warner goes so suddenly still my heart hurts for him.

This moment is too real.

Warner and Juliette are both so full of shit today. They’re pretending to be so hard, so cool and collected, and then—this. Juliette says one thing to him and Warner turns into an idiot. He’s staring at her, too dumb to speak, and she’s flushed, looking all hot and bothered just because he’s looking at her.

Jesus.

I wonder if Warner has any idea what he looks like right now, staring at Juliette like all the words were shoved right out of his head, and then, with a jolt, I wonder if that’s what I looked like when I was talking to Nazeera.