Seven Days(46)

God, she loved him already. It was amazing.

The stuff that had come from him was green and sticky and it took her ages to wipe it from his scrawny legs and buttocks – scrawny legs and buttocks that were the cutest things she had ever seen – and then to fold him into his nappy. She threw the old one into the corner of the room and held him to her chest, rocking him in her arms. She smelled his head. She’d held a few babies before and he had the same new-born baby smell. How was it possible they all smelled the same? Seb was in a room in the man’s basement, yet he smelled like every other baby in the world.

It was a miracle. Seb was a miracle. The whole damn thing was a miracle.

She heard the scraping sound, and froze.

She didn’t want him here, not now. It would ruin the perfection.

But the door handle turned, and the door swung open.





4


The man stood and looked at her. He was holding a box of nappies. Pampers.

‘Better to keep these down here. Don’t want people in the house asking why I have them.’

So he had people in the house. She had assumed he never had guests. She wondered, Who would want to visit him? Who were his friends? Did he have an active social life? Host the local bridge club? But if people were there, maybe they would hear Seb crying and investigate.

It was a stupid idea. He would have thought of it. The basement would be soundproofed, she could be sure of that.

He pointed at Seb.

‘How is it?’

‘It’s a he, and he’s fine.’

‘Good.’ The man looked at her. ‘And you?’

‘Like you care.’

‘Of course I care. You know I do. That’s why you’re here. Because I care. Because you need to be safe.’

Maggie looked away. They’d had this conversation before. She didn’t need to have it again.

‘Are you hungry?’

She nodded.

‘I’ll bring food. What do you want?’

‘Anything. Something simple. And water. A lot. I’m thirsty.’

‘Anything else. Are you … are you in pain?’

‘Yes.’

‘I’ll bring some ibuprofen.’

Maggie looked at Seb. ‘Don’t you want to know his name?’

The man looked at her, his head tilted. He looked puzzled. ‘No. Why would I want to know that?’

‘I thought you might.’

‘Well I don’t. Call it whatever you want.’

And then he left.





5


She cradled her baby and kissed his soft lips. She watched his eyelids twitch as he dreamed. She couldn’t believe she was a mother. There was joy, yes, unbridled joy, but also sadness. Sadness for him at where he was. For the moment, it didn’t matter – this would be the perfect place for him. He would have everything he needed. Food, warmth, his mum. It was only as he grew older that he would really miss out. He wouldn’t know what he was missing, not first hand, but Maggie would tell him. She would explain about playing football with your friends and swimming in rivers and lakes and gazing at the stars, so that when they got out he was as prepared as possible for the world he would find.

That would be her mission from now on: to get her son ready for the day they left. She would teach him to read and write and do maths. She would explain about kindness and compassion and love. She would tell him about his grandparents and uncle and all the other people who would be there for him when the time came.

That would be her focus. It would give meaning and purpose to her life. It would make everything worthwhile. And it would not be wasted, because they would get out.

She knew they would because one day Seb would be bigger and stronger than the man, and together they would be able to overpower him. It might take years, but it would happen.

The man had sowed the seed of his own destruction. So she would wait. And the longer she waited, the stronger she – and Seb – would become.

She felt, for the first time since she had been here, at peace.





Thursday, 21 June 2018


Two Days to Go



1


The man put two buckets on the floor next to the dinner tray. He stood up, wincing as he straightened his back.

‘I’ll be back for the stuff later,’ he said.

Maggie waited until she heard the scraping sound that meant he was gone, then picked up the tray.

Two plates. Two slices of cold pizza and two bowls of mandarin slices. Eating was impossible. She wasn’t sure if she was coming down with something but even if she wasn’t the sense of dread – it never left her now – about Max’s birthday had destroyed her appetite.

She handed a plate to Max.

‘Here you are,’ she said. ‘I’m not hungry at the moment.’

He picked up a slice of pizza and lifted it to his mouth. Maggie went back and picked up the buckets.

One of them was full of sand. In the other were two bottles, one of bleach and one of a blue liquid labelled ‘Toilet Holding Tank Deodorant.’

It was Toilet Day.

One of the things she had had to get used to early on was the toilet. It was a bucket with a hinged seat on top. Next to it was a second bucket full of sand, mixed with the blue liquid. You did your business – piss or shit – in the toilet-bucket and then scooped sand in on top.