Sempre (Forever Series #1)(57)

Haven lifted her head to look at him. “What’s wrong about what you said?”

Of course she wouldn’t get the perverted connotation. “I don’t think now is the time to explain.”

She shrugged and laid her head back down.

The room was quiet except for the air whistling as it blew from the vent in the ceiling. Haven took one of Carmine’s hands and linked their fingers together, resting them at her chest. He felt her breath as her lips brushed across his swelling knuckles.

He smiled at the feel of her kiss. “What are you thinking, tesoro?”

“I’m wondering if, uh . . . It’s stupid.”

His curiosity grew. “Nothing you think is stupid.”

“Well, do you think . . .” She paused to take a deep breath. “Do you think you could ever love someone like me?” She whispered the question, and he froze. Before he could gather his thoughts and answer, Haven cut in again. “I told you it was stupid.”

Devastation shook her voice as she took his hesitation as rejection. She found the nerve to bring up a subject he wasn’t brave enough to broach, to utter the word love that terrified him so much, and instead of reassuring her he clammed up. “Haven, I could never love someone like you, because there isn’t anyone else like you. You’re one of a kind.”

* * *

The haunting melody filtered into Carmine’s subconscious, taunting him, as he watched his mom under the flickering streetlight of the vacant alley. Her words filtered past the gloomy song, her voice soft. “My sole,” she whispered. Her sun. She called him sole because he shined so brightly.

She laughed, drowning out the tortuous notes. It was such a beautiful night that she wanted to walk home, and Carmine trusted her so he didn’t argue. His mom was infallible. He would always believe in her.

It came out of nowhere, the chaos and mayhem. Images flashed before him, so fast and frenzied he could barely keep up. Tires screeching. The terror on her face. Voices cold, their words brutal.

“Run, Carmine!” she yelled. “Run, baby, and don’t stop!”

Her screams were loud in the night, but no one was around to help. Carmine stayed frozen, because he couldn’t leave without her. He didn’t want to go alone. He was her sole, her sun . . . He couldn’t bear to leave her in the dark.

“If you love me, Carmine Marcello, you’ll run,” she said as tears spilled from her eyes. He hesitated, terrified, but at the last second he fled.

“Shut her up!” a man yelled. “Do it quick!”

The petrifying, bone-chilling scream rang through the alley. Carmine’s steps waned, and he turned back around. They were hurting his mom. She needed him.

The men were shrouded in black, but in the flicker of the streetlight, he saw the flash of a face. It was a blur, a mosaic of scar tissue and hate as the loud bang of the gunshot ricocheted in his mind.

Startled, Carmine sat upright and clutched his chest as he tried to get his heart to slow down. Glancing beside him in the dim room, he saw Haven’s eyes were wide-open, her expression layered with concern.

Falling back onto the bed, he ran his hands down his face. Sweating and shaking, his breathing erratic, he half expected Haven to run when he reached out to her. She didn’t, though. Instead, she allowed him to squeeze her in a hug.

Tears built up as he cleared his throat. “I was eight, and it was my first piano recital. It was late when it was over, and my mom wanted to walk home. She didn’t want to wait for a car to pick us up. We took a shortcut through an alley, and a car pulled up—a black car with dark windows.”

He could still see it. Generic, another undistinguishable black sedan, but it stood out to him.

“I saw it and thought my father sent it for us, because he didn’t like us out without protection. But my mom knew. I don’t know how, but she did. She told me to leave, to go straight home. I didn’t want to, but she said if I loved her I’d run. And I f**king loved her, so I did. I ran.”

Hot tears burned his cheeks. He didn’t fight them—they’d come whether he wanted them to or not. “I made it to the end of the alley when she screamed, and I turned around in enough time to see him pull the trigger. She dropped as the second guy pointed a gun at me. The burning tore through me. At first, I seriously thought I was on fire. I hid behind a Dumpster at a pizzeria around the corner, too scared to go on. I thought they were following me. I thought I was gonna die.”

He paused to clear his throat, taking a deep breath. “The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital. I’d never seen my father cry before that day. He just sat beside my bed, chanting, ‘It’s my fault,’ and f*ck, I felt the same way. I ran. I left her there to die.”

He let out a shaky breath and squeezed Haven tightly, feeling her warmth and life. Her hand stroked his chest as she looked up at him, her face streaked with tears. “I ran, too, you know. My mama told me to run away and leave her. I only did it because she asked me to.”

“So you know the guilt I feel.”

She nodded. “But you didn’t let her down, Carmine. You did what she needed you to do.”

Carmine brushed away her tears. “And what’s that?”

“You survived.”

18

Time wore on, weeks passing as the chilly southern autumn spawned an unusually frigid winter. The football season ended so Carmine spent more time at home, he and Haven growing closer every day. Despite the coldness outside, despite the dreary weather, warmth and passion flourished inside the old plantation home as young love blossomed, unable to be contained.