Sempre (Forever Series #1)(29)
He shook his head. “I still don’t understand why it mattered to that Michael guy.”
“Because smart people try to escape,” she replied. “They think they can make it in the outside world. The ones who don’t know anything are easier to control, and they needed to control me.”
He gaped at her, surprised by her sudden seriousness. “Okay.”
Haven laughed, her carefree expression returning. “Is that an, ‘Okay, I get your point, Haven,’ or is it an, ‘Okay, I’m just going to agree with you, because I don’t know what else to say?’”
She’d mocked him. Him. “You did that all f**king wrong. You didn’t even curse.”
“I don’t curse.”
He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Why not?”
“I’ve seen too many people have teeth knocked out from saying bad words.”
“So not cursing kept you all your teeth?”
“No, luck did that. As many blows to the face I took, I should be more disfigured than I am.”
He scoffed. “You aren’t disfigured.”
“My nose is crooked,” she said, matter-of-fact. “There’s a bump.”
He squinted a bit, looking at her nose, but saw nothing wrong with it. “How’d you get this supposedly horrific bump?”
“My mistress kicked me in the face.”
He cringed. “Why did she kick you?”
“Because I scuffed her high heels when she tripped me.”
“Why did she trip you?”
“For fun? I don’t know.”
His brow furrowed. “The bitch tripped you for laughs, got pissed because she scuffed her shoe, and decided to kick you in the nose as punishment?”
She nodded. “Do you want to know the color of the shoes? You’ve asked everything else.”
His eyes widened at her sarcastic tone.
Haven noticed his stunned expression and covered her mouth. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said. “And if you wanna tell me the color of the shoe, by all means, tell me. If you’re sick of my questions, tell me to shut the f**k up.”
“The shoe was red, and I don’t mind your questions,” she said. “I can’t believe I had an outburst like that.”
He smirked. “It’s the drug. It’s why, in the past half hour, you’ve mocked me, gotten fresh with me, and confessed to me.”
“So when it wears off, I’ll be in pain and embarrassed? Probably even in trouble, too.”
“No reason to be embarrassed,” he said. “And nothing will top you escaping out my window, so I wouldn’t worry about being in trouble anymore.”
She picked at her short brittle nails. “Did I get you in trouble, too?”
“No more than I get myself in daily,” he said. “He came up here in the middle of the night and nailed it down, though, so no more scaling trees for either of us . . . until I get it open again.”
“I panicked,” she said. “I thought he was going to kill me.”
“He wouldn’t . . .” He wouldn’t kill her? Carmine wasn’t sure if he believed those words. “Why did you think that, anyway?”
“He said the same thing my master said when I saw him murder a girl.”
Carmine didn’t know what he’d expected to hear, but that wasn’t it. “You saw a girl die? Is that the worst thing you’ve seen?”
“Maybe. I’ve seen a lot.”
“Like?”
She averted her eyes. “Like my mama being raped.”
As much as those words sickened him, Carmine was immensely grateful for whatever pharmaceutical company cranked out those potent little yellow pills that made her open up. “That’ll never happen to you here. You know that, right?”
She nodded but didn’t appear to be convinced.
“Look, sex can be great between people who want it, but I’d never touch a girl unless she wanted me to. None of us would. That’s wrong.”
“Do you love those girls you touch?”
“No.” He felt bad about admitting that.
“Have you ever been in love?”
He stared at her, unsure of how to answer. “I don’t know. I’m still figuring out what love is.”
“Me, too,” she said. “It’s confusing.”
He pursed his lips in thought. Could she feel what he felt? He couldn’t ask her, though. Even if she said yes, he couldn’t be sure it wasn’t drug-induced.
Leaning back on the bed, Carmine stared up at the ceiling as Haven spoke, her words slurring from exhaustion. “Carmine? What’s the worst thing you’ve seen?”
He contemplated whether to answer. It was a story he’d never told anyone. His family knew the technical parts, the shit that made the newspaper, but he never talked about what he saw.
Could he tell her?
He looked at her and smiled when he saw her eyes closed, lips parted as she lay there, fast asleep. He would have told her, he realized. He would have told her everything.
* * *
When Haven woke up, muscles throbbed she hadn’t been aware of. The intoxicating scent of cologne invaded her lungs, assaulting every cell in her body when she took a deep breath. It reminded her of the smell of the air in Blackburn when a storm came and it rained for two days.