Sempre (Forever Series #1)(163)

“You will be for a while as your body heals,” he said. “I want you to try to eat something. Carmine can bring you some chicken broth.”

“I can get my own,” Haven said.

“Nonsense, child. You’re far too weak for that right now,” he said, shaking his head. “Anyway, I’m sure the two of you have a lot to talk about, but get some rest today. Carmine can also get you something for the pain. I know he knows where the narcotics are, considering he’s been popping them like candy for weeks.”

Haven stared at the door when Dr. DeMarco left. “He seems strange.”

“I’ve noticed,” Carmine muttered. “He’s resolved, like he has some grand plan to save us all.”

“Do we need to be saved?”

“Don’t we always?”

Rhetorical question. Of course they did. “Is he working at the hospital here now?”

“No, he was just seeing about something.”

“What?”

He sighed. “Christ, you’re full of questions. It’s not something you need to worry about.”

“But I can’t lie around, wondering what happened. I’ll worry myself sick and never get better.”

“Fine,” he said. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell you yet, but I’m not gonna fight about it.”

She listened as Carmine recounted waking up in the car. He explained what had happened in Durante, tears flowing from her eyes when he broke the news that Nicholas hadn’t survived. Her mind drifted through scenarios, and she got lost in her thoughts, Carmine’s words drifting into the background until he said something that caught her off guard. “Arrested?”

He sighed and stood, running his left hand awkwardly through his uncombed hair. It obviously hadn’t been cut in more than a month, strands covering his neck and spilling over his forehead. There was a slight curl to it at that long length. “Yes, and for bullshit reasons. The feds raided with warrants for my father and Corrado, and some egotistical agent named Cerone threw me in jail along with them.”

“I can’t believe you went to jail,” she said. “How did you find me? My chip?”

“I wish,” he said. “It wouldn’t work, and they were in jail, tesoro. I knew it would be at least another week until they got out, and I didn’t know if you had that long. I had to do something.”

“What did you do?” she asked, suspicious of his cryptic words. “Whatever it is, I’ll understand.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Why do you keep saying things don’t matter?”

“Because there are some things you shouldn’t know right now.”

“You can’t mean that,” she said. “You said we’d tell each other everything.”

“I know, but things change. There are some things I can’t tell you . . . some things I won’t be able to tell you. It’s shit you won’t wanna know anyway, Haven.”

“What do you think you can’t tell me?”

He started to respond, but the ringing of his phone silenced him. Groaning, he pulled it from his pocket and shot her a nervous look as he answered. “Yes, sir?” His tone was even, his demeanor instantly shifting. “But I don’t . . . Yes, fine. I get it. I’ll be there.”

He sighed as he hung up and sat beside her. He took her hand, lightly placing a kiss on the back of it. “Nothing’s more important to me than you, tesoro. I’d give my life for you.”

“You’re scaring me, Carmine.”

“Don’t be scared,” he said. “I was desperate, baby. I needed to know you were alive, and now that you’re safe, I can’t regret it.”

“You’re not making sense.”

“I’m not surprised,” he said, letting go of her hand. “I have to go.”

“Go?”

“Yeah, but I shouldn’t be long. We’ll talk when I get back, but I can’t be late.”

“You can’t be late for what? Tell me what you did, Carmine!”

“I went to Sal, okay? Is that what you f**king wanna know? I asked him to help me, so now I owe him in return.”

She stared at him, fighting back her panic. “Owe him what?”

“My loyalty.”

She sat up, grimacing from her sudden movement. “Take it back!”

“I can’t,” he said. “It’s too late.”

“But you can’t do that! You can’t be like them! You can’t do those things they do. We talked about this before!”

“Do you think I wanna be that person? That I wanna do those things? Of course I don’t!”

“Then why’d you do it? How could you agree to that?”

“I didn’t have a choice. I get it if you’re upset, but it’s done.”

He stared at her imploringly, begging her to understand, but she couldn’t in the moment. She averted her gaze when he reached over to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “We always have a choice.”

His touch was gentle and should have been comforting, but it wasn’t enough to extinguish her fears.

“Look, it’s gonna be okay,” he said. “Nothing’s changed.”