Sempre (Forever Series #1)(152)

“You wish you could help? What does that mean?”

“It means as unfortunate as this situation is, I have more pressing matters to deal with right now. My men are turning quicker than I can keep track of. I have people being arrested, their houses invaded and property seized. Every day it’s something new. I can’t take on anything else.”

Carmine stared at him. “But this is my girlfriend. She’s been kidnapped by your people, and you’re telling me you can’t help?”

“I assure you, if anyone wants to locate Squint, it’s me,” Sal said. “I have people on the lookout for him, and when he’s found he’ll face the consequences. But I don’t have the resources or the justification to focus on him when my entire organization is being attacked. I sympathize with you, Principe, because I’ve lost loved ones, but Haven means nothing to me.”

His words hit Carmine hard, the callous, nonchalant tone sending his temper flaring. “She’s not nothing. She’s f**king family!”

Sal scoffed. “How did you come to that conclusion?”

Carmine hesitated for a split second, but he needed to cover his tracks. “I thought we were all family. You talk about loyalty and commitment, but where’s yours? Am I nothing to you, too?”

“You chose not to be a part of my family,” Salvatore said. “I’ll always have a soft spot for you, but you need to understand the organization, la famiglia, is my family. I respect your choice not to be involved, but it’s all I have. Just as you’ll sacrifice to save what matters to you, I’ll do whatever it takes to save what matters to me. We have the same type of loyalty, just for different things.”

“So that’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“And that’s what it’s gonna take. You’re gonna make me—”

“I’m not making you do anything,” he said. “You can walk out that door, and I wish you all the luck in the world, but if you’re requesting my assistance—if you’re demanding my loyalty—then it’s only fair you give me yours in return. Without it, we have nothing.”

Carmine’s anger and heartbreak came together in that moment. It didn’t take him long to respond, because deep down he already knew. Part of him knew it when he laid eyes on her that first day in the kitchen. “You got it,” he said. “Whatever it takes.”

Salvatore stared at him. “Are you sure?”

“She’s the only thing I’ve ever been sure of.”

“Great,” Salvatore said, holding out his hand. Carmine hesitated before kissing the back of it obediently. “I’ll make a few calls and see what I can do for you, Principe.”

* * *

Vivid dreams turned into hallucinations, memories morphing back into nightmares. It all ravaged Haven as if it were flames, melting everything into molten lava of pain. She held on, clinging to the surface and fighting to survive. But no matter what, the blackness took her deeper . . . and deeper . . . and deeper . . . until one afternoon, it swallowed her whole.

Haven was certain she was dead then, because in front of her, wearing a flowing white dress, stood an angel.

Maura took Haven’s hand and helped her to her feet in the filthy abandoned warehouse. The two of them strolled away, the walls crumbling as they stepped into a vast field of flowers. Sunlight streamed upon them, and Haven realized it was the clearing in Durante.

“Carmine brought me here,” she said. “I think he came here when he was sad.”

“I know,” Maura said. “I’m always with him.”

“Are you?”

“Of course. I’m his mother, and mothers never leave their children. We live in them, deep down in their hearts. Carmine can’t see me, but I know he feels me all the time.”

The thought comforted Haven. “Do you think he’s okay?”

Maura smiled. “I’m sure he will be.”

Haven wandered through the field and picked a dandelion puff, blowing on it. The fluffy seeds flew off and multiplied, exploding into hundreds surrounding her in the air.

“Is my mama with me, too?”

“Yes,” Maura said. “Don’t you feel her? She’s right there.”

Haven spun around so quick everything blurred. When it came back into focus, the dandelion seeds had morphed into snowflakes, falling from the sky like puffs of cotton. They coated everything in a layer of white, hindering her view of her mama a few feet away. She was twirling, the sound of her laughter encasing Haven in a blanket of love. For a moment, as she watched her mama dance, she forgot it wasn’t real. She forgot her mama was dead. She forgot she must be, too.

But in a flash it all came back, as when she blinked, her mama started to fade.

Panicked, Haven ran toward her, but the snow came down heavier, blinding her with whiteness. Haven ran long and hard, her chest burning and legs weak, but she didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. Exhausted, she collapsed to the ground in sobs, suddenly in Blackburn again. The desert ground burned her, scorching the soles of her feet.

After a moment, a voice rang out behind her, the smooth familiarity silencing her cries as goose bumps spread across her skin. “She’s gone,” Carmine said. “I’m sorry, hummingbird, but she isn’t coming back.”

Haven turned, desperate to see him, but instead of deep green eyes, all she saw was icy blue. Haven’s stomach twisted as Number 33 stared through her, the paper still pinned to her shirt. “Never stop fighting,” she said. “I didn’t.”