Say It's Forever (Redemption Hills #2)(75)

Salem touched my chin, brushed her fingers through my beard. “Jud…I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

It was mine.

“It doesn’t mean I can’t hurt for you.” She kept peering at me with this expression that sheared through my conscience. Like this girl might be able to get the loss on a level that no one else could.

I swallowed hard, leaned down to work her panties free of those legs. As I went, I pressed a kiss to her thigh. To her knee. To her calf.

I unwound them from her ankles.

She ran her fingers through my hair. “Just like I can feel you hurting for me.”

I choked out a breath, pressed my nose to her knee, inhaled. “I’m livid for you, baby. Want to destroy that bastard. Wipe his existence from the earth.”

The deranged admission was out before I could stop it.

I knew by the way she shivered that she understood it wasn’t a figure of speech. Wasn’t an exaggeration.

She had me itching to do what I’d promised I’d never do again.

I turned to work my boots free of my feet. Standing, I kicked them off and shrugged out of my jeans and underwear.

As bare as the girl.

Exposed.

She pressed her palm to the thunder that raged at my chest.

“You’re lonely.”

Energy thrashed.

“Yes.”

My hand went to her jaw, to the scar that made me want to go on a rampage. Hunt down the monster and show him exactly what being a monster meant.

“And you see mine,” she whispered so soft. “My loneliness.”

“There’s no lonelier place than having to hide who we are.” My words were out, between the two of us. “You don’t have to hide from me.”

I wound my arm around her waist and lifted her an inch from the floor so I could step with her into the shower.

The heated spray fell from the ceiling. Icepicks against our chilled flesh. Salem shivered then moaned when I leaned her back and massaged the warm water into the locks of her hair.

“I’m sorry you were scared tonight,” I muttered, memory going back to the terror in her eyes.

Old fears flashed across her face.

Grabbing a sponge and coating it with shower gel, I began to wash her.

Carefully the way she deserved to be handled.

Returning the favor, Salem pumped gel into the palm of her hand, rubbed her palms together before she smoothed them over my shoulders and down my arms. She peeked up at me when she admitted, “I think I needed you to see.”

She distracted me by running those hands all over my body.

Slowly.

Seductively.

I did the same, somehow knowing this was what she needed. For someone to hold her for a bit. To let her know she was safe.

We washed each other, her hands on me and mine on her.

It was really fuckin’ hard to keep my cool with this girl slick and bare and the hottest thing I’d ever seen. It was bad enough when she was clothed. But this? It was mind-altering. Earth-shattering. Being with her this way.

Lost in the shift of this night.

Like maybe we’d both tripped into something better.

Something right.

Our hearts were a thunder that pounded louder than the drone of the shower, louder than the rain on the roof and the thunder in the distance.

We were caught up. Lost in the connection that refused to let us go.

Our hands searched and our mouths roamed.

I kissed her jaw, her cheek, that nose.

Her lips ran over my pecs, my stomach, back up in search of my mouth.

I kissed her long and deep. My hand on her chin to control the desperation.

She sighed and gasped and stroked her tongue over mine. A slow, intoxicating dance.

When the water started to cool, I finally pulled myself out of the trance and turned off the showerhead. I reached out and grabbed a towel and wrapped that lush body in it, grabbed another to wrap around my waist, then I was hoisting her up.

She squealed in surprise.

“I can walk, you know.” There was a tease on her sweet mouth as I carried her to the massive vanity against the far wall of the bathroom.

Propping her on the counter, I grabbed another towel to run through her hair. “Now why would you do that when you have me to carry you around?”

Salem giggled. “You’d better watch out…a girl could get used to this, and then you’re never going to get rid of me.”

I smirked down at her. “Damn it. There you go, foiling my master plan, darlin’.”

“Devious.” She grinned.

My chest felt light while everything else was tightened in a fist.

Need unending.

Want growing into something it should not.

Love.

I shoved down the stupid, errant thought.

Blasphemy.

Disloyalty.

This black magic that was sinking into my blood and pounding through my body.

Only thing I could do was be here, right now, for her. Show her she didn’t have to be alone.

But where did that leave me? Wasn’t sure how to stand in front of the beauty of who she was while being me. Worse than that was wondering how the hell I was going to walk when this was over.

Especially when she started running her fingertips over that word again, a clear question in the action.

I blew out a strained sigh then I pressed her hand hard against it like she could feel the vileness pour out. “That’s who I really am, Salem.”