Save Your Breath (Morgan Dane #6)(73)

Gianna spooned an ice chip into her mouth from a plastic cup on her tray.

Morgan had known Gianna had been depressed but not that she’d considered letting herself die.

“But Stella wouldn’t give up on me. She checked on me every day. She made sure I had food. She paid my rent twice. I was surprised how much it meant just to have one person who cared. I’d never really had that before.” Gianna paused again to swallow and fish out a second ice chip.

Morgan didn’t interrupt. She sensed Gianna had more that she needed to get off her chest. The young woman had lived with Morgan for over a year. Yet they hadn’t had this conversation. Morgan had been focused on getting Gianna healthier and guiding her through the transplant application process at several nearby centers. She’d been single-minded. She should have been more attuned to Gianna’s emotional wellness. Depression was common in dialysis patients, and Gianna had plenty of life baggage piled on top of her medical condition.

“Anyway. That night in the hospital when you said I was going home with you changed my life forever.” Gianna had been kidnapped and had nearly died. “Part of me wanted to say no. To just go home and die. Letting you all care about me was hard. As weird as it sounds, it was scary to want to live. What if I wasn’t worth all the effort? What if I failed? What if I did everything right and still died?” She paused, swallowing hard. “What if I went back to using?”

Morgan reached out and touched Gianna’s hand. “First of all, I don’t think you’d do that. Secondly, I would still support you.” But it would change things. Morgan couldn’t have a drug user in her home with her children.

“People relapse. It happens.” Gianna’s eyes hardened. “I was in pain every single day. It would have been easier to find some dope and not give a shit anymore. To want to live meant I was going to have to work every day at getting healthy. Even harder for me, I was going to have to let people get close. That was hard.” She looked down at Morgan’s hand over hers. “But I was too tired to argue with you, so I let you take charge.”

“I’m sorry if I was too bossy,” Morgan said. She hadn’t meant to steamroll over Gianna’s insecurities.

Gianna gave a short laugh. “Not too bossy. Just bossy enough. Anyway, those first few weeks at your house were pretty overwhelming. The girls accepted me with no hesitation. They didn’t know what I’d been.” Gianna’s cheeks flushed with humiliation. “All the things I’d done.”

Morgan squeezed her hand.

“Your whole family took me in. They didn’t seem to care about my past. I can never repay you all for what you’ve given me. I don’t care if we’re not related. I love every one of you more than my biological family.” She sniffed and wiped a tear from her cheek. Her own mother had done nothing but use her.

“We feel lucky to have you with us,” Morgan said. “And we love you back.”

Gianna nodded. “Anyway, my point is now I want to live. I won’t lie. This setback is discouraging, but I won’t let it get to me.” She gestured to the tube taped to her chest. “As much as I hate this, it’s only temporary. The doctor says it’s common, and I’ll get back to normal in a couple of months. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get a transplant before the next graft goes bad.”

“Let’s hope,” Morgan said.

Gianna looked up, meeting Morgan’s eyes with a fierce gaze. “But you need to go home and take care of yourself and your family and find Olivia. I’m not that weak, super-sick girl you practically adopted last year. I can speak up for myself now. I’m going to get through this.”

Respect filled Morgan. All Gianna had needed was some love and encouragement. How horrible was it that she never received any in the first eighteen years of her life?

“All right.” Morgan stood and collected her tote. “But you have to promise to text if you have any problems. If you can’t find me, Grandpa can coordinate whatever you need.”

Gianna smiled. “He’s good at that.”

“Yes, he is.” Morgan turned toward the door but glanced back. “And for the record, I wouldn’t have made it through my husband’s death without him. There’s no shame in needing people. I was just lucky enough to be born with a built-in support system.”

Morgan left the room. On her way to the elevator, she stopped at the nurse’s station and gave them her grandfather’s cell phone number in case of an emergency. Gianna might be an adult, but she wasn’t alone anymore. She had family now. Someone would always be around to help.

Outside, she opened her rideshare app and requested a car. Her minivan was at the house, and Lance had taken the Jeep. Her ride came within ten minutes. Twenty minutes after she was picked up, Morgan opened the front door of her house and went inside. She toed off her shoes in the foyer. The dogs greeted her with sleepy stretches, yawns, and wags, and she scratched behind their ears. Carrying her shoes, she went into the family room.

Mac rose from the couch, where he’d clearly been sleeping.

“How is Gianna?” He rubbed an eye.

“Out of surgery and resting as comfortably as possible. She might be able to come home in a few days.”

“That’s great.” Mac stretched. “You should catch a few hours of sleep. No offense, but you look like hell.”